Interlude 1: Mersoy - The Cruel World (II)

Idoph and Mersoy reached the gathering place for the recruitment. At first, they were separated into several groups, then several trials were held. They included rope and tree climbing, races and archery. Mersoy was used to such activities from her childhood, and she didn't have much difficulty with them. Mersoy wondered why such easy trials were set up for the recruitment. Though, Idoph said she was just boasting; it was difficult enough for petite ones like him.

After all the groups had ended their trials, they announced the names of the selected candidates. Mersoy was selected, but Idoph didn't make it.

After that, a veteran soldier took the stage and started to talk.

“The new recruits would join as amateur soldiers, and once they’d prove their expertise in the battlefields, they’d be given the honour of a veteran soldier, like me, and then you’ll be able to join the explorer team, as guards to reach out to the other nations. Estoyca believes that we should maintain harmony with every nation, and that’s what we seek to do. However, it all comes later, and first you’ll be assigned to tasks that you may not like. If you still dream of a bright future, with glory and pride, with the chance to travel with true freedom, you are welcome to the army. Otherwise, you can, of course, go on with your daily ordinary lives.”

At first, Mersoy wasn't convinced, but after the soldier finished speaking, Mersoy felt excited. It's true then?

To Mersoy, it was the golden opportunity to fulfill her dream.

"The training will take place in the capital. Selected candidates should get prepared, we'll depart tomorrow dawn." The soldier ended his speech.

Idoph nudged her with his elbow.

"The capital is far away from here," Mersoy said.

And I'll miss them all.

But still...

"Go on, Mers," he said, slapping her on her shoulder, "I'll catch up with you next time they recruit!"

When Azura heard about Mersoy being selected, she had bittersweet words.

"You are going to risk your life for your dream," she said, "Are you really okay with that?"

"It's the best thing for me," Mersoy replied.

It's just that... You won't be there.

"If it's really that way then," Azura said slowly, and then gave her a smile, "Go ahead."

She took Mersoy's two hands, held them for a bit, then let go, walking towards her mansion.

Mersoy was flustered. She headed back to the pub.

Maybe I won't feel this way anymore when we are away. That'll be good… both for her and me, right?

The next year passed very fast. The training was difficult. It would begin at the crack of dawn, and continue until midday. After some lunch, it'd continue, and finally end when the sunlight faded. There wasn't any time to catch breath.

After one year, when the training was complete, they were allowed to visit their homes once, before the serious duties would begin. After the training, Mersoy realised that a sword wielding soldier didn't fit her; she didn't like the idea of marching to death, rather she was more of an opportunist, and she preferred to strike when the situation was calm.

After the training, the candidates were sorted into different units of the army. Mersoy became an assassin.

Her attire was pretty.Her It was full of small pockets which contained bombs, throwing knives and other accessories. She already undertook a few small missions, and she was successful.

When she returned to her hometown again, she was surprised. Idoph had grown a bit taller, but his face was no longer the childish one, and his voice had deepened. Mersoy stayed in the pub. Her old room was still gloomy. Apparently no one used it, and so it retained what it had - the broken glass, the few books lent to her by Azura. Resting a few hours, she walked to the fields of Azura, looking for her.

She was smiling to herself; it wasn’t like those days anymore. She had grown up, even if it was a little bit. However, thinking about the girl from those days in a forget-me-not garden still gave her goosebumps.

Reaching the field, she didn’t see anyone. As she slowly walked around, wondering whether Azura had been already married off (it twisted her heart, and she really hoped it wasn’t the case), and then suddenly two slender arms had reached around her neck and clung to them.

The softness of those hands, the sweet smell, and the breath of the other girl on the back of her neck. It was a beautiful feeling, and Mersoy’s face heated up. Slowly releasing herself from Azura, she said, “I was worried, you know.”

“You love taking revenge, don’t you? You’re repeating the words I used to say!” Azura said, in a fake-complaining voice.

Mersoy laughed soundly, then stopped seeing Azura looking into her eyes.

“What is it?” she asked, surprised, and taking two steps backwards.

Azura walked two steps towards her, “Nothing,” she said, smiling an enchanting smile, “you are happy. It’s rare, you know? You barely smiled back then. Look at you now, it feels so good.”

Azura looked away, Mersoy too, now running out of words to say. Should she describe the ways they trained? Or how many days she wanted to turn back, but the dreams of a bright future made her cling to it? Or should see…

“Are you surprised?”

Mersoy's line of thought disappeared. “For what?”

“You thought I wouldn’t be here, right?”

Mersoy smiled, “It’s a whole year, right? I thought you’d be married off.”

“Oh those suitors, they keep visiting me, and I keep denying them. Well, you see, they aren’t as charming…”

She paused, and then glimpsed at Mersoy once, she looked away again and laughed, “Nevermind.”

Mersoy hoped she’d finish her sentence. Would she… her heart skipped a beat… talk about her? But then instantly, she refretted thinking it. The separation didn't change anything, she still felt them.

What rubbish. I’m a girl. She’d talk about boys obviously. Maybe someone I never knew. I-

“Oh, Mersoy, you cut off your whole hair?” she sighed, “I liked the longer hair, and now it’s so short, you’d barely look like a woman with those armours you’d wear!”

“I don’t wear heavy armour,” Mersoy chuckled, “I’m an assassin. Not a knight or other soldier.”

“Still,” Azura smiled pitifully, then reached out and touched Mersoy’s hair, “it’s soft but… it’s not long.”

“Hair would get in the way,” said Mersoy quickly, before walking a few steps away from her.

“But Aura had long hair! And she was a brave spear user!”

“Lots of things happen in myths, real fights aren’t like that!”

“Oh really? Well, I wouldn’t know at all, would I?” she shook her head.

Mersoy smiled only.

“Hey Mersoy,” Azura suddenly said, glancing at her and holding her gaze, her beautiful blue eyes focused on Mersoy, “I’m going to request you something really silly right now.”

“Okay,” Mersoy nodded.

“If you ever grow your hair,” Azura said, “Would you let me call you Aura?”

“I don't use spears.”

“But you are someone fighting for us, aren’t you?” Azura said, announcing how right her words were, “The myth of Aura… Aura is respected so much because she’s brave. And you, are the bravest, and the kindest person I know. And that’s why, it’d be so fitting.”

“Aura,” Mersoy whispered, trying to see if it would fit her.

“Besides, our names would match, wouldn’t it?” Azura laughed, “Aura, Azura. Isn’t it pretty?”

Mersoy smiled and turned away, blushing. She hoped her face wouldn’t be red though.

If I say those things now, will she be mad at me?

Then finally contemplating for a few minutes, she said them.

“Hey, Azura. If I grow richer and I’m able to live freely in my own house, would you,” she gulped, hoping Azura wouldn’t be angry, “would you like to... live with me someday?”

Azura gasped, she seemed taken aback.

Mersoy felt very stupid and helpless.

“Ah, nevermind,” she said, smiling apologetically, “It’s nothing, really.”

Azura looked at her shyly and glanced away. “You… moron.”

I know. I'm pathetic when it comes to things like this, Mersoy thought.

No one will accept us even if she feels that way towards me.

And I'll be leading her to her doom if I speak out my feelings.

I can't do that.

Mersoy started to walk backwards.

“Mersoy?” Azura asked.

“I… just remembered something. I’ll head off now. Thank you for your time, Azura!”

Mersoy quickly replied and smiled forcefully. Then she started to run towards the pub, tears streaming down her cheeks.

When she finally felt okay, she sat down in the stairs outside the pub, recollecting the thoughts. Cinthia, the manager came over. She looked a bit older, maybe they did run short of workers and she had to work extra hard.

“Well Mersoy,” she sat down next to her, “You’re still a grumpy teenager, I see.”

“She-” Mersoy started, then stopped the next instant. What will she think of me if I say… if I say something like this? I’m disgusting. So she just smiled at her.

“You know, you could talk to me if you wanted. I’ve seen you and Idoph since you were babies. You are like a family to me.”

Mersoy felt a void in her heart. Family?

“I just don’t want to leave,” Mersoy mumbled, and then sighed, “I’ve stayed there for a whole year. Studying languages, training, and what not. It was fun, and it was a richer place, I got to eat and sleep well. It’s just that, there’s no Idoph there, there’s no Azura, and… there’s nothing familiar. Sure, it will feel good when I’ll be travelling, but it’s just that I miss the scenery I saw out of my dark room, and I miss the green fields, and I miss Idoph’s laughter.”

“It’s okay. But one day you’ll grow used to it.”

“Yeah. But if I could change something, I wouldn’t have joined the army back then maybe. But it’s just a thought. I can’t decide what to choose - a bigger dream with huge scope, but little to no familiarity? Or a hopeless dream that won’t come true, but still embraced by the feelings I’ve known, the sceneries I’ve seen for years?”

Both Mersoy and the manager stayed silent. Then the older woman spoke, “Sadly, I can’t help you choose there. It’s your life, you know? And I know that you are a brave, strong girl. That you can make decisions well. Whatever you can’t change - don’t regret it. It’s tough, and it’s probably advice only to be spoken but you can’t take it to heart - but that’s all I’d say. Now that you’ve chosen this path, go on. You’re free. You can live on like a bird who can fly.”

Mersoy stared at her, gratefulness filling her.

“Thank you.”

***

1941, Capital of Estoyca.

Upon returning to the capital, after ten jobs, Mersoy and two other assassins were selected for a special job. Much to Mersoy’s dislike, they wouldn’t be accompanying the diplomat’s journey in two years, which was, to be honest, still tentative.

“Listen carefully,” their leader said, pacing around the room, “Taan. Braazer. Mersoy.” he looked at their three faces, “This is a top-secret mission, and I don’t want a single bird to know about this rather than the four of us present in this room. Prepare yourself for what I’m going to say. However, know that, no matter what - you can’t reject this. Our future depends on how well you do.”

Mersoy tried to remain calm, but there was a small nervous feeling.

“I hope you took your mythology classes seriously,” he said, and Braazer’s face twitched, everyone knew he slept through those classes. “And I also hope, you all are familiar with the term ‘fiends’.”

“Fiends, as in the mythological creatures in the deep sea?” Taan asked, with a confused look on his face. “I remember reading that they have a kingdom of some sort under the ocean. And they look like humans, except their body is bluish and they have scales.”

“You’re correct, I appreciate you explaining it and saving my time,” the leader nodded, and continued, “Well then, let me get to the point. All people of our nation, Estoyca are part-fiends.”

There was pin drop silence in the whole room.

“Nice. I thought you’d be revolting like children, but good to see you all have grown up,” the leader chuckled, “We are part fiends. We came over to the land by the power of a huge sea-serpent, also known as the water spirit, residing in the ocean. Without its power, we wouldn’t be here. You see, the fiends helped the serpent in the past, half of the fiends were blessed with organs by its power to live in the land - or that’s what the books and the legends say. That’s none of our concern. All you need to know is - we’re not humans, humans hate fiends, and hence we are fiends disguised as humans in these part-fiend bodies.”

He looked at the three of them, and waited if there was anything anyone would say. Seeing them silent, he continued. “Good, now for the mission.

“You see, Estoyca - the above land part, the part-fiend nation is part of the greater Estoyca down the sea. And there was a treaty among us - we’d help our kindred to find freedom, let them come up on the land. The water spirit has pointed out a way to achieve that. There’s a scroll somewhere in this world. And we have to find that.”

“Leads?” Taan asked, “Where would we begin?”

“The water spirit specifically said that the scroll would be somewhere in the north. There’s Dottonex, Nevidilandi… and Pensylan too, just to the north of Estoyca. And we’ve decided to go stepwise. Pensylan is the closest country. And so, your mission is to infiltrate the Pensylan castle, gather information about the scroll. I don’t want any ‘maybe’s. There has to be a definite ‘yes’ or ‘no’, regarding the presence of scroll in Pensylan.”

The scroll…

All of a sudden, everything started to fade around Mersoy.

The voices disappeared and the scenery faded from one to another.

Mersoy realised it with a shudder.

It was all a dream, like many times before.

The dream of her memories.

Braazer, Taan, Mersoy. Back then, the three of them ventured to Pensylan, thrice, each time with one sacrifice. Braazer died on the first attempt; he was caught by the guard, and bravely enough, he concealed all information. The next time, it was Taan. His grapple hook failed and he died, falling from a tower. And the third time - it was Mersoy.

How she thought she’d die too .. but what happened was worse.

Mersoy wanted to scream.

It was the same memory, over and over again. Mersoy closed her eyes.

Back then, she too, was caught in the end. The leader forbade her to go to Pensylan for the third time, but she didn’t listen. She ventured in. She was caught red-handed by the guards. And, they noticed that she was from Estoyca.

Mersoy opened her eyes and found herself captive in a cage, just big enough for her to kneel. From the cage, she could see the distant burning city. The pub had broken down. The bloody dismembered body of Cinthia lay on the red ground at a distance, the dagger she tried to resist the Pensylan invaders with was right beside her. Idoph was nowhere to be found. There was no one - nothing was left.

She knew what would happen next. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry. But nothing would change.

Then suddenly, Mersoy noticed her.

Azura.

That beautiful girl from back then was no longer there. Instead, there was a girl desperately in need of help. Azura's face was scratched, her dress bloody, her hair rough, and her blue eyes were filled with tears, as she cried and screamed.

“Azura,” Mersoy whispered, tears falling from her cheek.

No matter how many times Mersoy saw this dream, she still felt the pain, the guilt, the anxiety,

“MERSOY!” Azura screamed. "RUN!"

“I can’t,” Mersoy started to cry, as she hit the boundaries of her cage with her hand, “I’m not free like you. I never was. You have two legs, so,” she started to shout back, “YOU RUN AWAY! I… I…” the words hung back at the end of her throat, “I’m powerless,” she whispered, “I can’t save anyone. I’m not free. Not at all. It was all..nothing…”

But then, the girl was stopped in her tracks by a tall man. A Pensylan chief soldier. Mersoy’s heart sank. She didn’t want to look at it anymore. No. No. Not Azura. No.

The man gripped Azura’s dress, and Mersoy screamed, “LEAVE HER ALONE!”

The soldier didn’t heed any attention to her words, and dragged her.

Azura screamed and struggled. She picked up Cinthia's dagger, injuring the soldier. He was surprised at that sudden attack. In that opportunity, Azura ran to the cage Mersoy was in, and kneeled in front of her.

“Mersoy,” Azura screamed, "I'll get you out of here, don't you worry," she panted, as she repeatedly punched at the lock. Mersoy noticed her hand was bleeding,but the lock couldn't be opened.

It was hopeless.

“I’m sorry,” Mersoy said, crying, “I’m sorry. It wasn’t meant to be like that. I didn’t know… I could never know…”

“Save those for later,” Azura yelled, "When we get out, you can say as many…"

But her words didn't finish.

The soldier dragged Azura to someplace else. “Delicious,” he said to another soldier, who laughed at him and joined him.

“STOP IT,” Mersoy screamed, “STOP IT. LEAVE HER ALONE - SHE WAS NEVER IN ANYTHING TO THIS -”

But no one listened. No one cared.

This was a nightmare. A nightmare she never wanted to see again, but somehow it kept repeating in her mind. The way the man looked at Azura, the way the soldiers were rejoicing in the destruction of Crovas, the way another soldier told how two other holds were destroyed, how people were screaming, crying, dying - please, stop it, I can’t - I can’t take it anymore.

And then suddenly those visions started to fade too. And there were many scenes passing on. Her new eyes, the sea-serpent - the water spirit’s proposal to her, the words it promised. And Mersoy believed them all. The passing scenes stopped, and Mersoy recognised she was at the shore at a dawn, the injured serpent was rising up. It opened its mouth to speak, and though the words were only heard as roars outside, Mersoy could understand the language.

“I’m sorry. It was all a lie, but none of these were meant to happen.

“I’m sorry. I was only trying to protect someone dear to me.

“I’m sorry.”

The vision faded with the sound of gunshots and the body of the sea-serpent drowned in the sea, leaving Mersoy all alone.

Again.