The Lost Dazzle

Three years ago,

Year 2087.

Akihiro, Natsume and Rumi were in their third year of middle school. Natsume was social as usual and was good friends with both of them.

Being a natural extrovert, Natsume would talk to anyone in his class. But there was someone who specifically caught his eye. Fair-skinned, glossy lips that never smiled, sapphire blue eyes that never shined and silky cocoa brown hair, Yui Itsuki was a complete introvert who kept to herself at all times and avoided all social interactions whenever she could.

She was indeed very pretty, like a princess from a fairy tale, but she didn’t shine. She was like a gem covered in dust, someone who had the potential to be dazzling, but something deep inside seemed to have kept her lost all the time. Natsume’s attention was immediately drawn towards her.

‘She can shine. I know it. Imagine how beautiful she would be if she just smiled.’

Natsume walked up to her freely like how he always did, when he started conversations with new people.

“Yo! Do you see this coin?”, he said as he placed a coin in his hand. “Let’s bet on the future of this connection that we might have.”

“What?”

She was perplexed. It was rare for someone to come up to her, let alone a weirdo.

“If this coin lands on heads, we become friends. If it lands on tails, you give me a warm hug and I depart forever.”

“Geh. Pervert...”

“Haha it’s only if it lands on tails.”, Natsume joked as he tossed the coin into the air.

The coin landed on his hands. It was heads.

“Ahaha, looks like even the gods want us to be friends.”, Natsume said, his eyes gleaming with happiness.

“That coin has both sides head!”, Rumi interrupted. “Don’t trust this dude!”

“Hehe, you got me. But at least that way I can’t be a pervert right?”

“Pervert...”, Yui and Rumi said in sync.

Natsume fell to the floor as the word ‘pervert’ pierced through his fragile heart. “Oi!”

----

Natsume had always found unique or clever ways to make new friends, female friends to be specific. He had just adopted one more female introvert to his huge social circle.

As time passed, they had become close. Natsume had come to realise that Yui was always upset due to various reasons. She was the only daughter of two abusive parents who kept fighting with each other.

Every night she would either lock herself up in her room or run out of the house and walk in the park all alone so that she could avoid being involved in her parents’ constant fights.

One night, Natsume was walking back home after buying groceries for dinner. He was passing through the park when suddenly he saw her sitting on the swing alone, looking down at the sand beneath. He walked up to her and sat on the swing next to her.

“What happened? Why are you sitting here alone? Isn’t it late?”, Natsume asked.

“My parents have begun talking about a divorce. They were fighting so I ran out of the house and came here. I always come here at night. Unlike my house, this park is calm and peaceful.”, Yui said.

Natsume already knew about her family condition. “How bad is it?”

“Almost every night they fight. I’ve never seen them pay any sort of attention to me affectionately. They just fight and pour their stress out on me.”

“They pour their stress out on you?”

“Yeah...”

Natsume instinctively grabbed her hand and pulled her sleeve up.

“What the hell are you doing?”, she shouted.

Her hand was bruised. It was easy to notice as the bruise was in stark contrast to her fair skin.

“Do they hit you?”, Natsume asked.

“Can’t you see?”, she pulled her hand away. “It takes a lot of work concealing these bruises.”

“That’s horrible...”

“Tell that to my parents.”, she remarked sarcastically.

“If I were you, I’d stand up for myself. I wouldn’t let my mother or father beat me up for their stress relief. I’d fight back.”

“Wouldn’t you be scared?”

“What? If you don’t stand up for yourself, these nightmares will continue.”

“They probably will just get even angrier.”

“So? I’d fight back even harder. I’ll let them know that they can’t just abuse me without any consequences. I would never be submissive and just accept it. I’ll rebel. I’ll make sure that they think twice before trying to abuse me.”, Natsume said in a slightly triggered tone.

“Ah, I wish I were like you. But life isn’t that simple. Things don’t work like that. I just run away from home before my dad returns and I go back home after they sleep. That’s how I’ve always avoided the chaos.”, Yui said.

“Hmm yeah, that’s probably a better choice.”, Natsume replied.

“Yeah...sometimes I wish I were like you. Just a simple-minded fun guy who doesn’t care about what others think and is happy all the time. In a way, you are really lucky. I wish I could be as cheerful and carefree as you, enjoying every day of life.”

“Yea I’ll admit, I’ve never had abusive parents or any sort of childhood trauma. I’ve always been a happy child. But I’m sure that you can become happy too.”

“I don’t think so...”

“No, I’m serious. You avoid your parents’ fights and try to escape but that only traps you more Your mindset itself is very negative. You are literally accepting a pain-filled future for yourself. Change the way you think! That’s the biggest difference between you and me. If you can follow my rules, I can guarantee that you will become happy. At least life would become less painful.”

“What rules?”

“First off, have a proper sleep schedule. You always sleep at 3 am and wake up at 7 am. That is extremely bad for your health.”

“I don’t like to sleep. I’m scared of seeing those nightmares over and over again.”

“Everyone gets nightmares now and then. Is it very often for you?”, Natsume asked.

“Yeah...I don’t need much sleep anyways. I’ve been living like this my whole life.”, Yui said.

“That’s why you need to change it.”

“Mhm Yeah...”

“Second, even if this sounds silly, write five things you are grateful for, every day.”

“Finding one itself is hard. I can’t write five. Nothing good at all happens to me.”

“See, that’s a negative mindset. Just try your best to think of something you are grateful for.”

“I’ll try...”

“Third, look at the good things and try to smile at all times. Fake it till you make it. Eventually, you will naturally smile on your own.”

“I guess...” Yui muttered.

Many thoughts raced through Natsume’s mind.

‘Will this work? Is it actually that simple? Even if it doesn’t work, it’s still all good practices. No, I’m sure it will work. I CAN CHANGE HER! I can make her smile. I’m sure.’

“I’m a hundred percent sure that things will get better if you follow them. Haha, call me Natsume-Sensei from now on.”, he said and laughed.

“Ew no.”, she said as she giggled too.

Natsume got up from the swing. “Anyways, it’s late. I have to go home now and help my mom make dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Natsume had always looked down on mentally weak people. To him, he couldn’t comprehend why people cried so easily. He couldn’t understand how someone could be ‘hurt’ emotionally.

If someone were to cry over something so small, what would they do once their parents died? Natsume had always used this reasoning to avoid and look down on people who couldn’t handle their emotions properly.

Oddly, with Yui, that wasn’t the case. In fact, he even wanted to help her. There was probably something in Yui Itsuki that made Natsume behave out of character.

‘Why am I even doing all this? Why do I even care?’

“Yeah...I’ll see you tomorrow.”, Yui said as she continued to sit on the swing.

Natsume began walking away. The cold wind blew across his face, giving him an urge to look back and check if she required a jacket. He looked back and stared at her, just swinging mindlessly. Yui noticed him look at her and stopped swinging.

“Ah...Good night. Bye-bye!”, Natsume said as he waved his hand.

She wore a fake smile. It was a rare sight for Natsume who had never even seen her trying to smile. Her eyes still displayed sadness and loneliness, making her smile weird and unnatural but he could feel the effort behind it. She waved her hands too.

“Bye-bye Sensei!”