The Silence After "I Love You"

The walk home was long and lonely, but what came next would be worth it. As I went into my house with the customary "I'm back," no response came. As usual. I slowly walked up to my room upstairs, and opened the door to welcome an extremely cold room. Turning on the heater, I lay on my soft and wide bed to finally have my sweet relaxing moment. It was surely a hectic day, but with its own caveats.

I heard a knock on my door, almost as I was about to doze off.

"Nee-san, you should eat your dinner before sleeping," my tiny little sister snarked. Ugh, and here I was about to almost go back to the land of my dreams.

"I am skipping today, already had my share of food. Let me rest," I concluded as I turned over to the other side to show my back and signal that the conversation was over.

"I see, okay." She closed the door and left.

My relationship with my family, and primarily my sister wasn't this bad, if I recalled correctly. Maybe somewhere along the way, I guess I took things for granted. I never tried to connect with them, and instead increased my distance with them. Maybe, it was after that... Watching her face tighten over something so small sent an ache through my chest, reopening a wound I thought had long since closed. If only... if only I had the courage like Saya to speak my mind to amend my mistakes.

Right on cue, I heard the notification on my phone. I knew who it was from, but even then... or maybe that's why I grabbed the phone immediately to take a look. As expected, it's from Saya.

"Thanks for accompanying me to that sweets place!" The message was followed by a cute sticker saying "Good night".

A simple message, but I felt a bulk of emotions from it. How does she do it even without showing her face? I could only "grasp at straws" here, as I sent back a simple "No problem" to her. I just wanted to elongate this conversation somehow, but it feels like the drowsiness will grab hold of me faster than Saya can come back with a reply. I was anyway not the best person to hold a converstation over messages, and I didn't want to make Saya uncomfortable. After waiting for about five minutes, which felt like ages to me, I closed my phone and tossed it lightly on the other side of the bed.

Time to reset all this pain and these feelings.