02: Days spent with you

After that, I knew what I had to do. 

When she was alive, she brought so much joy to people's lives without asking for anything back. That was one of the many things I loved about her. Now I had the chance to repay that kindness to her. 

A few days passed, and we got started tackling her bucket list. The first few were simple ones like [bake a cake] or [go out shopping]. The cake we made was beautiful—probably the best one I've ever seen. 

"I never expected you to be a good cook–I mean, not like we ever talked much."

"Yeah, because I mean you were popular. I felt like I shouldn't barge in."

We chatted like this while the cake was rising in the oven.  It was a strawberry shortcake. The base was fluffy; we both watched as it rose. I looked over at her. 

Her eyes sparkled like they always did. The whites of her eyes reflected the light from the bulb that hung above us. Her Iris was a deep blue—a blue that sucked me in.  I never thought such beauty could be told through eyes, yet here I was, unable to look away. 

"You okay?" Kiritsu giggled,  followed by a sincere smile. 

She caught me staring, and out of panic, I turned away. 

"...I'm fine."

She pointed at the oven—now off. A sound rang out, telling us that the cake had fully risen. We pulled it out and placed it on the table in front of us. She got hasty and started to pile the icing on; it was white icing, the same white as her dress. 

"Wow. It's..."

Her eyes widened as she stared at the now completed cake; the white icing complemented the strawberries on top—her favourite. 

"I think the word you're looking for is beautiful."

She meant the cake, but I wasn't. The way she sparkled, she would have all eyes on her. But why show yourself to me? That's what I kept thinking. If only for a while, things felt kinda perfect. I didn't want it to end. 

                                                                                      ***

She even made me go see a movie after hours; we snuck in through the front and sat in a room that had the projector left on. Nothing of note was playing–just a romcom she liked. I still remember how she looked at the screen, totally immersed. 

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

She sat there, tears falling down her face. 

"...Yeah."

 She was always a compassionate person, and this proved it even more. 

As the credits rolled, we both watched in silence. She gripped my hand. 

"What-"

Again, she just let out that heartwarming smile, the one that would light up any room. Looking back on things now, she was always like that. When she'd sit near me, she'd find any excuse to get closer. 

She'd conjoin our desks even when she had her textbooks. Or say something and then act like she didn't say anything. 

 "So how was the movie?" 

I asked to keep the conversation moving. I would always have a few instant and filler conversation starters and enders, but the middle is where I struggled. I would opt to scratch my cheek or fidget my fingers. 

This time, though, I engaged, listening to every word she spoke. 

"It was beautiful."

She repeated the same phrase, but this time, her eyes were puffy from all the tears that she wept...

I pulled out the scrunched-up piece of paper from my pocket and opened it up. Passing it to her, she turned and dabbed her eyes. 

"Guess you enjoyed the movie a bit too much."

"Don't you dare turn around."

 Next up, she wrote that she wanted to go to the aquarium. There was some scribbled-out writing to the left. 

"What's this?"  

I pulled the paper in front of my face so she could see.

"That's something you have to figure out for yourself."

 She gazed at me with her sparkly eyes—and she tilted her head slightly. What did she mean? I wanted to ask, but I also didn't, so I pursed my lip. 

                                                                                                 ***

The Aquarium was nice; there were fish from all different habitats and all different sea creatures. Ami put her face up to the glass and tried to poke at the fish. 

"What fish is that?"

"A clown fish."

I  was a ways away from the glass, so I walked over with a bag of memorabilia in my hand.  I told her I'd get her something, and she picked out a clown fish plush. It was soft and was as orange as her hair. Honestly, I thought it was the perfect fit. 

"Hey, you... c'mere." 

CLICK

A second later, I heard a camera flash. She latched onto me, pulling me beside her, and took the picture. 

I was shocked enough not even to make a face. When we checked it out, all you could see was me being pulled upon by thin air and a floating orange clownfish plush. 

"Guess it doesn't work, huh?"

She lowered her head and gripped the phone tightly. We already knew the answer, yet it still hurt.

It pained me seeing her like that, as I knew how much taking pictures meant to her. I'd often see her taking pictures with her friends, and she looked so happy, but seeing her like this broke me apart. 

"Look here, though!"

I looked down at the photo and noticed a glare where she had stood. 

"You're right, guess even you can be smart sometimes."

She checked it over with me, noticing the same thing I had. A glare covered the right side of the photo in white, and even though it was faint, you could see her smile. And that part about me sometimes being smart? A total lie. 

I was near the top of my class, not right at the top, but enough to be labelled 'smart.' So for her to call me smart sometimes honestly hit my ego more than I'd like to admit. 

"If anyone's the smart one, it's you. I mean, you were top of our grade."

"Yeah, I guess I was. But even then, you can also be quite dense, can't you?"

I wasn't dense; if anything, I understood where I stood. I was an outsider when she was alive, and now, well, what were we exactly? I still couldn't figure it out.

"So why choose me?"

I mean, I wasn't anything special; I wasn't a jock, and I wouldn't call myself 'good-looking.' So why would she show herself to me out of everyone? It didn't make sense, no matter how—

"Why you, huh? I wonder why I chose you?" She walked towards me with her hands behind her back. She stood on her tiptoes, and her breath brushed up against my ear.

"That's for me to know and you to find out..."