Chapter 5: A Faint Smile

I stared at my hands, still dripping with the red of the girl. Even if I tried to smother my guilt with excuses of the girl attacking me first, why did I kill her? Wasn’t this world not supposed to have magic? What would I call that, if not magic? But why did I think this world wasn’t supposed to have magic?

A small sprinkling of rain hit my hands. The droplets rolling down my cheeks irritated me, so I wiped them away. The clear sky above me seemed to laugh at me, denying my assumption of rain. Why was this happening? I just wanted to live a normal life, so why?

“Because you are our enemy.”

I turned, and the shaking sword in my face conflicted with her words. Tears dripped off Touka’s face as her scrunched face and clenched teeth seemed to hold back any further words. Her white knuckles made the red dripping down her nails much more vivid. Despite the obvious threat, something within me felt confident that I could beat her.

What was this urge to fight? This was Touka, not an enemy. Although she pointed a sword at me, I knew she lacked the intent to follow through. So, explain the reason behind my body’s compulsion to pull her apart? The thirst for her rich nectar flowing through her veins?

“Touka, it is me, Mari.”

“Don’t.”

For each step I took towards her, Touka took a step back. An outstretched hand matched with a shaking retreat. My forced smile met with a wail that tore at my heart. Touka’s rejection of me tore at me like a dagger through the chest. I needed her.

“I don’t want to lose you too.”

“I can’t. Mori is dead now. I must avenge her. I must—”

It happened faster than I could see. With a scream, Touka’s sword swung at my neck. The blow never came as the blade stopped, rattling next to my neck. With a tilt of my head, I examined the reflection in the blade. A golden eye stared back at me, with purple streaks flowing outward like shooting stars. How quaint.

“But I can’t. Mari, why did it have to be you?”

Yes, the same question I asked myself; Touka also lacked the answer. I lifted my hand to touch her cheek, and she flinched.

“A little hurtful, don’t you agree?”

Touka’s tears were so beautiful. The urge to lick them up overpowered me, so I did. Despite how salty they tasted, I enjoyed the quivering of her skin as my tongue glided across it, the shaking that racked her body with each sob, and the desperate struggle to swing her sword, even knowing she couldn’t. My lips hovered over her eyes, so close that I could see my smile mirrored in that beautiful orb.

“Mari, stop.”

I fought the urge to keep those twin baubles for myself. As much as I desired to pluck them out and keep them for myself, something within me pulled my hands away. Well, whatever. Seeing Touka in front of me flamed the desire to break her apart. A feeble voice in the back of my mind told me it was wrong; a mistake I’d never recover from. But an even louder voice demanded I tear her apart here and now.

Why did I want to hurt Touka so badly? I stumbled away from her, and she returned the favor with her own unsteady steps back. I shook my head to clear the impulses screaming from within me. This was my friend. I refused to harm her, no matter how much everything within me screamed for it.

“I promise, I will fix this. So, stop.”

Touka left her parting words as she leaped into the distance, leaving me behind. In an instant, her figure disappeared, like a magic trick. These compulsions weren’t me, so I also wanted to stop. But that high was intoxicating—addicting even. The leftover nectar coating my hands tasted so tantalizing as it slid down my tongue. What was I doing?

Gagging, I attempted to spit out the fluid seeping inside, but my body refused to obey as it sucked in the metallic liquid. I shuddered involuntarily, but I couldn’t tell if it was from happiness or revulsion—perhaps both.

I understood the need to escape from this place. Within this place, something steadily took over. This wasn’t me; it couldn’t be me. So long as I escaped, everything would return to normal. I’d be myself again. Tomorrow, Touka would meet with me again, and we’d be friends again. I wanted—I needed that to be true.

With that goal, my feet steadily approached the horizon. How would I escape from this hell? Each step took me further from the incident location. Each step one further from the source of the stains upon my hands. As I journeyed through the wasteland, I looked for any clues that might lead to an escape.

Honestly, nothing stood out while I trudged through the repeating landscape. Just deserted buildings to the horizon and a puddle that seemed to follow me, reflecting an everyday street. After a few steps, my feet froze in place while I turned to the out-of-place puddle. That puddle reflected an everyday street?

The puddle revealed a scene of ordinary life. A bus passed by, little children walking with their teacher, and the occasional passerby peering into the puddle, checking their hair or staring at something. Time passed, and the scene slowly drifted to the side as if pushed away by the sun. Then, with a pop, the image disappeared.

As I remained crouched, stunned by the fading puddle, I another puddle nearby drew my attention. This one showed a similar scene, but looking to the sky within a cluttered alley. My hand touched that puddle and suddenly, the world spun around me. Just like that, I fell upward, through the ground, and landed in the alley. A few seconds later, I sped toward the street. The peaceful street awaited me. The slow rustling of the trees, the chatter of the people, and the sweet sound of birds all enveloped me.

Taking in the sounds and sights I missed so dearly, I glimpsed a bus station. Hastily making my way there, I sped past many stores and even people. A few surprised gasps followed my path, but they weren’t important. At the bus stop, I found the map and discovered I had ended up several cities away from home. Fortunately, the map showed the nearest subway. I’d be home soon.

I went to wash out the red from my clothes and hands, but I wondered if they were even real. All of the red came out cleanly as if they never were there in the first place. The station police gave me some odd looks as I snuck into the bathroom, but otherwise left me alone. The subsequent subway ride went uneventfully, and I made it to my room without further incident.

“I’m home, Mary.”

“Welcome back.”

Huh? I looked over to my precious doll, but she remained seated on the shelf where I left her. Did I imagine that? Although I might have assumed that before the events of today, I inspected Mary—and found nothing. She was merely an ordinary doll.

“Mary, did you speak?”

Of course, she didn’t respond. That would be crazy. I set her back onto the desk where I had left her this morning. Huh? When did I put her on the shelf then? I took another glance at Mary…

…and swore I saw her smile.