Chapter 6: Do You Really Want To Know?

I must have fainted, since I woke up collapsed on the floor. After shaking my head vigorously to toss the haze away, I examined Mary closer. She didn’t jump at me or anything, but something just seemed off. Nothing in particular stood out, but it still felt wrong somehow. As much as I wanted to investigate further, the door opened and my brother froze as he stared with his mouth gaping open.

My fault for waking up so early, but if you asked me, nobody expected a girl to stay awake after such an exhausting experience.

“Good morning, Souta.”

“Sis, you idiot!”

Although my brother quickly fled with tears in his eyes, I needed to deal with something far more important than even my brother.

“Maybe I should take her to a shrine to purify her?”

Those words came with a pressure from somewhere, as if someone glared at me with indignant anger—or perhaps something. As I suspected, something felt off about Mary this morning. Without being able to place exactly what seemed wrong, I pondered pointlessly. I decided to place her inside my bag for now, but then realized that I had left my bag in that place. Or so I thought before I plopped myself onto my bed. A sharp pain in my back caused me to shoot back up. Turning around, my bag laid on the bed, awaiting me like a puppy.

When did I retrieve my bag? I knew I returned empty-handed, and the lack of red stains on my bag only made that more obvious. Despite what I assumed I knew, my bag sat on the bed all the same. Did someone retrieve my bag for me? How did they enter my room though? Was it Touka? Did she pick up my bag for me after that confrontation?

No point in ruminating on something I lacked answers for, though—even if she returned my bag for me, what I needed to do remained the same. That is to say, I needed to prepare myself for school. I took another glance at Mary and carefully laid her inside my bag. My parents appeared surprised by my early awakening, but set out my breakfast without questioning. Looks like we had rolled eggs as a side dish today. After gobbling up my breakfast, I hurried out.

The trip to our meeting spot went with no major incidents except for the dog. The dog initially jumped at me, but then suddenly ran away whimpering—as far as his leash allowed, anyway. Odd. The really odd part came after, though. Akane never showed up. Touka as well. I waited and waited until the time forced me to give up.

I dreaded each step to class. Even with all the evidence stacked against me, I still held onto the slim hope that I had dreamed all those events of the previous day. I knew how real those events were, but I still wanted to deny them. Once I reached the classroom, reality would confront me.

Each step felt heavier than the last, as if weights shackled my steps. Weights taking the form of ghastly apparitions gripping my ankles, my legs, and even my neck. A pink-eyed specter asking me why I killed her. A familiar specter asking me why I let her die. No, I merely imagined these apparitions—they represented the guilt within me and the fear of acknowledging the truth.

Although all my instincts screamed at me to flee, I continued to push myself. Even as my hands grew clammy. Ignoring the sweat dripping down my back. Gritting my teeth as I dragged the weights chaining me down. The landscape wavering and turning bleached could not stop my march. I continued through the gates of the school that leered at me. The locker where I switched to indoor shoes felt isolated without my friends there.

The other students stared at me, watching my every move, judging me, condemning me. They knew—even if logically I understood that to be nothing more than my imagination, every oppressive glance felt like an accusation. I dragged myself to the classroom where I awaited my execution.

And that execution came as the teacher started class with an announcement. No, even before that, my heart sank when Touka ignored me, as if walking past an empty desk. Against the will of my feet, I remained at my desk. As if that alone lacked the edge to execute me, the teacher’s announcement acted as a second blow.

“I have two announcements for you all. First, the school has made a decision to cancel all club activities until further notice. Once classes end, you will go straight home. No detours. Second, I regret to inform you that Akane will not be joining us for class. She never made it home last night.”

Those last words caused every eye in the room to shift to me. Whispers followed. Wasn’t I the last person with her? How did I not notice? Even if the teacher stopped those whispers, I felt those eyes staring at me. Whiteness bleached my vision. My stomach heaved. Nausea overwhelmed me, and I fled. I barely made it to a sink before my breakfast came out.

I made my way to the nurse’s office, where my bag awaited me. The nurse examined me, but despite finding no issues with my health, sent me home. The long trip home felt far longer than I recalled. Was the route always so long? I then recalled the passenger in my bag. As if to distract myself—no, I admitted my intention to distract myself—I made my way to a shrine for dolls.

As I passed the torii gates, I heard the ringing of a bell. I took the steps up towards the temple, but I spotted another gate soon after. Then another, and another. Each gate I passed look exactly like the last and if someone asked me for even one unique trait, I doubted I could answer such a question. The intervals gradually increased as I passed through each one. Each time I walked under one, a bell rang. The nagging suspicions confirmed themselves once I crossed the next gate, and another gate manifested the moment I did. I turned around—or I started to—before a hand grabbed mine.

“Do not look back.”

Startled, I stopped my rotation to look down at a hand extending from my bag. A hand I recognized—Mary’s.

“You must keep going, Mari.”

Perhaps a normal girl would have hightailed it right then, but something told me I could trust Mary. So, my trip continued. The gates soon popped up even before I passed the next, visible through the gates. Three toriis at a time became four. Soon, an endless array of gates formed a tunnel. Aching feet caused my steps to slow. Weariness weighed my steps as the gates blended into one long blur.

Suddenly, after what felt like an eternity of wandering, the toriis vanished. The arm holding my sleeve, although I lacked recollection of when that arm started doing so, fell as the figure within struggled her way out of my bag, falling out with a puff of dust when she landed on the ground below.

“Hi, it’s Mary. I’m in front of you right now.”

And introduced herself as if a character straight out of a horror story. No doubt, if this were one, I’d already be dead, so I thanked the gods that this was reality. Or so much as I could call this other place reality. Just what—

“Most people seem to call it the ‘Alter’, but some call it the ‘Depths’ or even names like ‘Otherworld Layer’.”

Mary’s answer came perfectly timed, almost as if she had read my mind.

“That isn’t it. Not quite. Does your mind not know where your arm is? It does. This is the same.”

I didn’t—no; I understood just fine. She was me, or at least a part of me. Just what was happening to me?

“Do you really want to know?”

Did I really want to know?