The Bread at the Door

The road felt a bit wider today. We had started on our leisurely but unskippable walk to the dreaded place that is school. Noticing the gap between my steps and Natsuki's, I quickly raise my pace although what I really wanted was to lower hers. I was worried sick as she did not even gave me a reply to my "straighforward love declaration". I was scared that she became sick of me already, but I need to keep walking ahead fearlessly.

"So, did you see my message?"

"Oh yeah. Sorry, I was sleepy yesterday so tucked in earlier than usual. Not that I know what to reply to such a message"

"You can be honest with me, you don't need to be always considerate of me", as I say this I wish the opposite. A "brutually honest" Natsuki? That would throw me off for a loop.

"You know it's hard for me to do that, even if it's you. But, I will try"

"Oh, is that so? So let's start right now. Why are you feeling so down?" I could notice that her footsteps felt heavy, the usual shine on her face was nowhere to be seen. Sure, it could be that she had a bad night's sleep, but she even slept earlier than usual. Something was off, and I wanted her to open up to me by herself. I notice a tilt in her head, as if she was trying to shirk away from that question.

"I'm not down. Anyway, where do you wanna go today?" As she attempted to hide her pain behind the shining smile, I understand that maybe I was getting ahead of myself. Natsuki doesn't quite like to talk about herself and if I needed her to open up to me, I needed to make some active decisions.

"Hmm, well let's go on a detour after school." But most importantly, I need to keep her close. The more time we spend, the more chances I will have. But is that really any different from before? I could feel my consciousness reply with a resounding "YES", as this time I was the initator.

"Sure. Let's do that." I felt her face lighten up. It made me a little happy that I could help out in dismissing her sadness, even though right now it's only a tad bit.

I tried to gradually lessen the distance between us, horizontally this time. On purpose, I tried to graze her hand with mine, but my actual intent was slightly higher. She looked at me softly, as if to say it's fine. I took hold of her hand, and grasped it tightly.

We gradually approached our destination, as I saw the school in the near distance. I secretly hoped to halt time right here, but the most I got was the slowness of Natsuki's steps as we approached the school. I still wonder if it's because of her nature towards me as a friend or something even more. But for now, all my worries went up in smoke as I'm close to her. If only I could be the same form of support to her. Aah, enough hoping, time to plan for today's detour!