Flower Petals, Now and Future

The day we have been waiting for has finally come! It was the first weekend of April, the day we have promised to flower gazing together. I woke up really early and made sandwiches for both of us. He has promised me to make croquettes despite his first time, but I still wanted to make something for us.

Even the weather helped us a little too much. Breezy and sunny, and my mood was inspirited too. I carefully put our sandwiches in a picnic basket and readied myself in the neatest attire I owned.

A notification beeped. I caught a glance at the pop-up.

'Riku, good morning.'

I smiled, as if he was standing before me. I replied his morning wish and informed him that I was on my way to his resident. That day, I was confident with my casual attire, and I wouldn't need to quiver in front of Mama.

Sora frequently visited me at my condo, but I seldom visited him at his mansion. Mama has always treated me differently in a good way, in comparison to how she treated other people out of the resident (I happened to witness this when she once brought us to eat dinner outside). She wasn't arrogant, but I thought she was overprotective.

Mama was way too kind to me, as if I was her biological son. She never hesitated to consider me as one, and I never ceased from guilt because I was afraid the discrimination might cause her problem later on. I vowed myself not to entangle her to my personal matter, at least.

Somehow I've betrayed that vow. Sora, her son, has already been my lover. I'm sorry, Mama. I didn't intend to hurt you, but I didn't intend to let Sora go either.

"Look at the Sakura petals, Riku!"

Sora hopped along the road on the hill top. I reprimanded him numerous times not to get too excited. Lately, his syndrome attacked him more habitually than last year, which reminded me that he needed extra care in his movement.

Some of the petals fell off the blooms and flew along with the wind. One landed on Sora's head, and I picked it up naturally. Sora was blushed at my action.

"Hey, are you embarrassed?"

"Feels like I'm a heroine of shojo manga," Sora remarked, averting from my gaze.

I wheezed. Never ever once did I think Sora as a girl. He was already pretty in his own way, and I never regretted liking him romantically. I grabbed his hand, squeezing it a little and whispering to his ear. "Let's hold hand once we go down there, under the Sakura tree."

Sora gulped at my whispers. I grinned in satisfaction because ever since I confessed to him, he never declined whatever I asked for. In fact, there were times that he would initiate it first. Our mutual feeling was the best after all.

"Sora."

I've just leisurely called and turned to him after setting our mat on the grass when I saw him falling onto the ground. The picnic basket he held was dropped but fortunately the content didn't spill. Our food was secured in it, enabling me to handle Sora much easier.

I gently shook his shoulder to wake him up. As usual, I heard his soft snores, and the fact that his breaths waving his chest relieved me. I carried him in bridal style and put him on the mat to let him sleep cozier.

Throwing my view to the vast sky, I inhaled in relax. The fallen Sakura petals scattered everywhere by wind, and some landed on Sora's hair again. Surely he didn't aware of it, yet I faithfully removed it from him.

The fluttering emotion surfacing from within pleased me. I was contented, purely in joy, blessed, by this feeling. This new experience gave me butterflies in the stomach at first, but when we found out our mutual feeling, I could never ask for more.

I grabbed Sora's one hand, as I've promised. I wanted to hold hands with him. Although he didn't seem to wake up sooner, I would wait for him. I gave a little squeeze to it, adamantly hoping that he would still be able to enjoy this beautiful scenery after waking up.

No one was around. Not even kids or folks. I leant over him and drew close to his face. Though his eyes stayed shut, I stared at his face. Seconds after gazing at his pretty complexion, I pecked on his lips. I wanted to kiss him passionately, but it wouldn't be fair for him.

Why? Just why? How could I fall for him of all people in my life? He was a boy, a male, and having a pretty face didn't mean that he should have been gay. But he was who I loved wholeheartedly, the one I wanted to cherish the most, thus the one I never ever wanted to lose.

"Mother, does it good to fall in love?" I muttered as I fixated my sight on the white clouds. "I still remember how Father always visit your grave, especially when he was sorrowfully sad. He talked to you though you never replied. I don't know if he still visit you nowadays, but I believe he still does."

I lied beside Sora and put our food aside. Our head met, and our distance shortened. "Mother, is it wrong for me to love Sora? It was my first time getting in a relationship, and I must say that I won't like the idea of us being separated. Mama has adopted me, legally, so that means I'm a family to them. To Sora."

The Sora beside me didn't respond, depicting his unconsciousness. I sighed while watching the Sakura petals falling off their blooming flower.

"How could we endure the future, Mother? I wonder how," I lifted my hand as I tried grabbing one of the petals. "If you were alive, will you bless us and our relationship?"

I manageably chased after one petal. Its smooth texture extraordinarily calmed me, whereas I was so conflicted a few milliseconds ago. I smiled basically to no one.

"Mother, I love Sora," I released the petal. It would be lovely if Sora has woken up, but if he hasn't, I would still wait for him. "I want to be by his side. Eternally."

"Thank you, Riku."

"Eh??"

The sudden intervention astonished me that I rose from my lie. Sora has opened his eyes, and he chuckled at my panicking. Did he hear me? I turned away, averting from him as embarrassment rushed to me.

"I just figure out that's how you cope with your loneliness," Sora said and gestured at me to help him getting up. Thus, I did. "I don't know if Mother would approve us, but I’m glad."

He was smiling just now, but his tears trickled down his cheeks. From a simple weep, he eventually sobbed. As the one being with him at the moment, I really wished that I could wrap him in my arms.

He was a patient of narcolepsy. I've looked it up online, and there were a few reasons behind its appearance. I didn't want to scare myself by self-diagnosis, but I was afraid if it was to be true. Sora was still young, and our feelings have just developed. It wouldn't be right to feel bliss despite the condition.

Sora might be not aware of it because he could still stand and walk, or basically every motions, normally. But the multiplying recurrence of him nodding off out of the blue was undeniably worrying.

Witnessing Sora sobbing right before my eyes tormented me. I hated seeing him in tears. His countenance must only consist of happiness, without a hint of anguish. While he was hiccupping, I swept him into my arms, and he has immersed himself in my embrace when I, finally, kissed him on the lips passionately. I tilted my head a bit to allow our lips locked to each other. The hot kiss then was broken, and I panted for air.

This guy did know how to kiss! I felt embarrassed for making the move first. I fiddled to get out of humiliation when he kissed me again. This time, he initiated us first by inserting his tongue into my mouth. I flinched at his bravery.

"Uhh, Sora," I murmured in between the kiss. "How…?"

He broke our hot kiss. The one I've never thought he would start. My face surely blushed and I refused to look him onto the eyes. Then I noticed, he blushed more than I did.

"I learnt it online," he replied, shyly. "I want to make you happy. I don't want you to find me boring too."

His opinion erupted my laughter. He pouted because he mistook it as me taunting him, whereas I was still astonished by his boldness. He turned away and sulked.

"Sora," I called him out. "Honestly I like it. But, if you didn't want to do it, don't force yourself. I'll still love you."

He peeped me over his shoulder, and twitched a smile. I hugged him on the waist from behind. The absence of other people around us availed us hugely. Thanks to it, we could treat each other lovingly, and we even had our first hot kiss.

"Riku, will it be too much if I hope for our relationship to be eternal?"

My soft gaze seeped into his eyes, remarking my willingness. Eternal, huh? "It's my dream to cherish you, Sora. Can I marry you?" Then one thing came to my mind instantly. "But, Sora. I can't give you kids. You like kids, right?"

Sora burst to laugh till his tears emitted from his corners of eyes. I was puzzled at his reaction, yet I eventually grinned.

"So what if I like kids? I can't give you one either!" He flaunted between his chortles. "But I do want to marry you."

I scratched the back of my head. "There are many things we need to reconsider before getting married. Will Mama approve us? I don't want to hurt her, she's also my mom. Then, will both of us work or will you just stay home, waiting for my return?" I tapped on his nose to tease him. "Pursuing studies is one thing, I may be working ordinarily, not like my Father, or Mama. I'll find a flexible job which I can dash home soon after working hours. About our reception, will we do it confidentially, or just register ourselves as a pair? I should make a bucket list."

"Riku," Sora effortlessly butted in. I breathed calmly. "Can I request something? But this is quite outrageous, I must say."

I tilted my head on one side, while my one hand slicked his fringe, exposing his smooth forehead. "What is it, Sora?"

"When we've gotten married," Sora hesitated, "can we adopt a child?"

Definitely I was petrified at his request. We have just mentioned about our disability to produce an offspring, and he came up with adoption instead. I blinked at him, pleading for less vague explanation.

"Well, I, uh, just want a friend," Sora squirmed in restlessness, "You see, if I'm really going to stay home while you go out to work, I need someone to accompany me, right?"

"It's too... Sudden. I was shocked, I'm sorry," I even stuttered, unsure of what sort of response I should act out. "Let's think about it once again later, okay?"

Sora leant against my chest. Our body collided, and I somehow could sense Sora's pounding heart.

A child, huh?