Having Trouble Coming up With a Decent Story
“Aaah!” Koshiro stretched, “It’s finally over! Now it’s just waiting for the feedback!”
“Brother, have you read it?” Koshiro stopped Daichi when he was about to go down the stairs, “My story, I mean.”
“Of course, congratulations!” Daichi patted Koshiro’s head, “You finally managed to finish one story!”
“Yeah, I know that, but what did you think of it?”
“Hmm…” the older brother pondered, “Maybe that older brother character could have appeared more…”
“I have plans for him on the sequel!” the boy justified.
“If that’s the case, then okay.” Daichi resumed his walk.
“Wait!” Koshiro stopped him again, “Did you think that it was good?”
“Hmm… I wouldn’t call it good…”
“Great??!” Koshiro was hopeful.
“Of course not!”
“Aargh!” the boy frowned, “Is it decent?”
“I don’t want to be the one to crush your dreams brother.”
“Wait, does that mean…”
“Umiko-chan! Do you want to play Avenue Warrior with me?!” the man bolted down the stairs, leaving a scowling Koshiro behind.
“Well, I should check on the others n…”
“Wait, brother!” Daichi ran up the stairs, “There’s something I forgot!”
“Huh?” Koshiro turned to his brother, “You finally remembered a good part?”
“No! I forgot to do... this!” he quickly dashed forward and pinched Koshiro’s nipple.
“You lost again, brother!” Daichi shouted while going down the stairs, “Your guard is almost as bad as your novel…”
“Umiko-chan, what did you think?” Koshiro asked the girl that was making Scar dance.
“Who are you calling Umiko-chan??! Koshiro idiot!”
“Ugh.” Koshiro sighed and looked up, “Can you just tell me what you thought of my story?”
“Story…?” the girl put one finger on her chin and tried to remember what the hell that boy was talking about.
“Don’t you remember? I’ve been sending the chapters periodically!”
“Oh, that!” Umiko smacked her head, “I stopped reading it midway.”
Koshiro scowled a bit: “Why did you do that?”
“It was boring! Playing with Scar-chan and Kuma-chan is much more fun!”
“Okay then, did any of you read it?” Koshiro glanced at Kuma-chan and Scar.
“It was pretty bad.” they both answered at the same time.
RUSA WAS KILLED BY OBAREJI
NYOKOCHAN WAS KILLED BY AKUADO
CHIFU WAS KILLED BY OBAREJI
NOBU WAS KILLED BY OBAREJI
“He’s playing like a god today! There’s no way we can win this.” Nobu complained.
“Since you’ve apparently given up.” Koshiro left the game, “Can you guys give me your feedback now?”
“Nyoko-chan loved it! But Nyoko-chan thinks some of the secondary characters deserved more love!” Nyoko promptly answered.
“Hmm…” Nobu pondered, “Let me see…” it looked like he was skimming through the archive again.
“I kind of agree with Furukawa-chan…” Hirata gave a slight laugh.
“Okay…” Koshiro nodded.
“Oh, that’s right.” Nobu murmured. “DID YOU REALLY ABANDONED EVERYTHING AND WENT TO THE LOLI ROUTE IN THE END??!” he exclaimed, “Well, it’s not like I expected less…”
“Hey!” Koshiro protested, “It’s not a loli route, it’s the little sister’s.”
“This makes it worse…” Nobu and Hirata said at the same time.
“Nyoko-chan loves little sister’s route! Nyoko-chan thinks that her brother could learn something from it instead of making Nyoko-chan train every single day!”
“Will you start to call me an idiot?”
“Nyoko-chan would never do such a thing! She loves her brother very much!”
"Well, I love you two, so let's keep our dynamic that way, okay?"
"Hey!" Koshiro called their attention, “So, at the end of the day, did you guys enjoy it?”
“Nyoko-chan says yes!”
NOBU left the chat.
“I’m sorry Koike-san…”
“What do you think, president?” Koshiro brought the topic of his story during one of their tea parties.
“I-I j-just wanted to k-know what you think of my story but if you don’t want to say I don’t have to know either! Actually, you don’t even have to read it if you don’t want to! I’m lucky to be able to speak to you!”
“Huh?” Murakami tilted her head, she then adjusted her glasses and said: “If you were talking about your story, I can say that I enjoyed it…?” “That’s what a friend would say in this situation, right?”
“Yes! Thank you very much!”
“I just don’t get that four-eyed girl! Why is she always screaming at the others? That’s not how a friend should act! Right...?”
“I-If you didn’t like her, I can just kill her o…”
“DON’T DO THAT!”
“I mean, maybe you could give her more attention in the next volume.” she stared at the boy: “THERE’S GOING TO BE A NEXT VOLUME, RIGHT…?”
“What do you guys think?” he was talking to his club now.
“Ugh!” Takayama smacked her head, “How do you have the courage to ask something like that? It’s obviously bad.”
“Grr…” Koshiro frowned, “I still need her to be eligible, I still need her to be eligible, I still need her to be eligible.” “I… thank your constructive criticism, Takayama-san.” he forced a smile.
“You should be proud, Koike-kun!” Shimizu gave him a thumbs-up, “It was something that I could never do myself!”
“Does this mean it was good?” Koshiro stared at Shimizu. She only grinned and kept the thumbs-up. “Okay, then…” “What did you think, Yasutake-san?” he turned to the shy girl seating next to Hirata.
The girl fiddled with her fingers, “I-I d-didn’t r-read i-it…” she murmured and then started to flush when directing glances at Hirata: ‘I-I’ve b-been studying a l-lot s-so I didn’t h-have the time…”
“It’s alright Yasutake-san.” Koshiro assured and then looked at the other members of the club: “So, to summarize…”
“It’s trash.” Takayama was merciless.
“Hehehe, I could never do something like it!” Shimizu kept the thumbs-up and smiled.
“Hmm…” Yasutake didn’t reply.
“I’m sorry Koike-san…” Hirata scratched his head.
“Daichi-kun, I thought that you knew how to write!” Suto-san squinted at Koshiro.
“Hehe…” “Even you, Suto-San??!” Koshiro smiled awkwardly and scratched his head. “What about you Sumi-nee?” he turned to the young woman.
“I don’t know why I even read it, it was obviously very bad.” Sumiye crossed her arms.
“Wow, thanks for softening it.”
“Well, I’ve seen worse...” she smiled at Koshiro, “it’s just that I have a few quibbles.”
“Really?! Just a few?!” the boy’s eyes glinted with hopefulness.
“OF COURSE NOT!” Sumiye picked a document that had more pages than Koshiro’s story itself (and with smaller characters), she then started to point out the ‘few quibbles’ she had with the story: "There are too many characters! I’m pretty sure you mixed their names sometimes! The story ended out of nowhere! And seriously?! The loli?! You have got to be kidding me! No one bought that story! Neither their relationship! There are so many things left open! What about the festival?! What about the romance?! Besides…”
“Hey! That’s why I’ll write a sequ… Aaargh.” Koshiro was interrupted by a punch.
“Please be quiet while I’m saying! I’m trying to help you out here, okay?!”
“Hmm.” Koshiro rubbed the hit spot and observed as Sumiye kept complaining, he didn’t pay attention to her words, but he thought: “I’m glad to have you here…” oops, maybe he actually said it aloud.
“What?" Sumiye frowned. "Are you listening to me?”
“Of course, keep talking Sumi-nee!” Koshiro hugged the woman and smiled.
“Oh, okay…” she composed herself and continued the bombings: “The grammar is odd, to say the least! I actually could come and say that it’s very ba…”
“Yes, I know that the pacing is trash, the characters are generic, the drama doesn’t work, that it isn’t funny… and that all of the things you’re saying are correct, but I’m glad to have you here, pointing it all out for me.”
“Aaaah!” Koshiro suddenly woke up, “Did I just have a spoiler dream?” he looked around him, he was in his room… Scar was nowhere to be seen… and someone was hugging his chest. “Huh?” Koshiro looked at the inflatable bear: “What…?”
“What are you doing to Kuma-chan??!” beside his bed was the girl Koshiro was looking for. Umiko Sawada was scowling at him.
“I thought that she was you!”
“W-What?!” she jumped back.
“Aaagh.” Koshiro sighed and smacked his head, “Don’t worry, I don’t like pipsqueaks like you in this way.” he stood up.
“If I’m a pipsqueak, you’re an idiot, Koshiro idiot.” Umiko sulked.
“Okay.” Koshiro smiled and patted Umiko’s head, “I’m an idiot then.”
“That can’t write a story.” Umiko added.
“Let’s stop on the ‘idiot’ part, okay? One thing at a time.”
Hello, Kerry Kamiya here! Just writing a few words of gratitude to anyone reading.
First of all, I’d like to thank everyone who gave even the slightest of attention to my novel, if you just read the synopsis or even just glanced at the cover, I’m thankful you didn’t just scroll it down without noticing it.
Second, I’d like to thank two of my friends who helped me with the novel. B.Spark, who always encouraged me to write, and that gave me the incentive I needed to finish this work when he said the simple words “I’m enjoying your novel.”, and the one who made the (at least in my opinion) awesome cover for Having Trouble Coming Up With a Decent Story (I’m sorry for the long name) Petr Nask.
Furthermore, I don’t know if this novel will be published somewhere else, but it was initially written for the MALxHF Writing contest, and I should thank them as well. Before I knew about the contest, I wanted to practice my English writing and had some ideas in my mind but didn’t know what to do with them. The writing contest gave me a way to go through with some of the things I had in mind (making it possible for me to write this, my first novel), and, although quite demanding, writing for it was really fun. Thank you for this opportunity! I hope you can promote more contests like this!
Maybe the “demanding” part was because I decided to write two stories… anyway! Thank you so much for your time, if you read a part of it, I hope you enjoyed it at least a tiny bit!