Skipped a Beat
It’s 20th December, Friday. Went on a trip to Kyoto at the start of this month. Nothing much happened except Hina tried to confess to Eiji. And of course, he said no. He openly told them that he liked Aoi but since she has changed so much, he thought it was better he doesn’t. So right now, he’s not thinking of dating anyone or anything like that.
A week until new year arrives. Right now, I’m going to school on foot. It’s getting colder and colder. My hands are freezing cold. It’s 08: 25 right now, I wonder If they have reached or not.
Oh, they are all here, before me
“Morning” (Eiji, Hina and Sachi)
“Sachi, how are you feeling?”
“You don’t look fine though…”
“Well, of course I wouldn’t be fine, 1 week is left”
Takahashi: Sachi is starting to look stressed now,
“Anything in mind?”
“You just have to delay a little so that you sit in a different plane” (Takahashi)
“Nothing we can do right now. Winter vacations will start soon, let’s just wait till the year ends” (Eiji)
Takahashi: no one is talking much, Sachi looks too stressed to even talk. Things have been getting worse ever since we came back from the trip. Sachi started to worry about her death. And since we know we can’t do anything. We are just here, sitting hopeless
“Takahashi don’t think much about it. Maybe something will happen, and I don’t have to go, or dad doesn’t move away. We can’t do anything about it”
“I know but… I just can’t stop thinking about next year”
“Don’t worry, when you go back to first year, you can maybe do something about it.”
“I don’t even know if I go back or not”
“Then just accept that I die”
“What about you?”
“I’ll just die”
“What about others”
“Takahashi, people come and go in life. This is not something new” (Eiji)
“For me it is…”
Nothing… no one is talking… is this how it was supposed to end.
(Takahashi at home)
Now when I think about her, I regret not listening to her. She told me, if I can’t bear the pain of her leaving, I shouldn’t get close to her. At that time, she felt like a really good person to leave, so just wanted to be with her. But now, I keep thinking that I should start distancing myself from her… should I? what if it hurts her… does it really matter? She’ll die in weak anyway… now I’m getting angry at everything… is this going to be middle school all over again? No, this is way different. I shouldn’t have told her to not come here anyways. That’s it, when I go back to first year. I’ll never go meet her. Maybe that way she won’t appear in my life, and I’ll forget her… did her knowing about her death do any good? Its better if she doesn’t even know about me. That way, she will live…
I’ll talk about this with other on new year, probably the morning of 1st January. For now, I’ll just listen to music. Don’t even feel like watching anime now…
From Eiji to Takahashi: For Sachi, please try to be cheerful. Don’t talk much about her death. You have probably noticed how she reacted today.
To Eiji: I had an idea, what If I don’t tell her anything about plane crash and other stuff. Then she won’t come here, and she’ll be fine.
To Takahashi: When you go back? I don’t know. Whatever you did last year is resulting into this year. So, if you don’t tell her, I don’t know what will happen.
To Eiji: What if this is the only way to save her
To Takahashi: Or it could mess up more things. And are you really okay with that? Not meeting Sachi? You won’t forget her, but she won’t know you at all.
To Eiji: it doesn’t matter what I think. If Sachi lives I’m happy with that
To Takahashi: I see. Well, you can try that when you go back. But for now, don’t let Sachi get sad or anything
To Eiji: Yeah, I won’t
Every time something comes to mind, and I feel like yes, I can do something, Eiji just makes me more hopeless… Everything I did last year, resulted into this year. So, If I don’t tell her, she doesn’t come to Tokyo… and then when I go to 3rd year… there’s no one, Aoi will be in Ichikawa, or wait, she said that she might come back, so I’m not sure about that. But yeah, Sachi will be in Kyoto probably. And then going to meet her will be stupid. I should just give up. When I go back… I won’t tell her anything. So, things don’t end up like this at all. And I will have Eiji and Hina, it’s not like I’ll be all alone. Yeah, everything will be fine.
(Some days later)
My routine is so messed up, it’s 12: 00 in the morning and I’m just waking up… Oh… Sachi messaged around 10: 26
From Sachi to Takahashi: Want to go somewhere together?
To Sachi: Where?
To Takahashi: Oh, I thought you died
To Sachi: Seriously? Death jokes?
To Takahashi: Well, you were not answering your phone either
Takahashi: oh yeah… she also has called a multiple times
To Sachi: I was just sleeping, where do you want to go?
To Takahashi: I don’t know, just somewhere out, beach or a store or anything
To Sachi: what about others?
To Takahashi: No, just us alone. You know we have never hung out, just us. So, I thought before I go…
Takahashi: this is the first time she’s acting like this. It’s kind of making me happy. If I can’t do anything about her death, at least I can spend some time with her
To Sachi: okay, where do you want to meet first?
To Takahashi: just like before, come to the school in about 20 minutes. We’ll go somewhere from there
To Sachi: Okay
I should get up now. Don’t want her to wait there.
I think I should go on a bike. Can’t get to school in 10 minutes on foot.
(10 minutes later)
She’s standing there, outside the school gate. Like someone who was going to confess to me
“You came” (Sachi)
“I would, you called” (Takahashi)
Takahashi: her eyes are red…
“Sachi, what’s wrong?” (Takahashi)
“Your eyes… and your voice… have you been___”
“For telling you about all this last year”
“You regret meeting me?”
“No… not at all, just what you are feeling right now”
“Right now? Haha… it’s nothing… just imagine what it would feel like to know your own deadline”
“I can fix this”
“I won’t tell you about your death or anything when I go back”
“And you think that solves anything?”
“It will, you won’t come here”
“And not meet you? Are you fine with that?”
“No… but at least you live”
“I think I have never mentioned this before but, whether you had told me or not, I would have come to Tokyo anyway”
“My dad, he moved here because of his job. I have told you, that he won’t listen to me unless there’s legitimate reason. This was just a coincidence that I had to move to Tokyo”
“But I told you about which school to attend. And your death… if I hadn’t you would be living a normal life right now”
“You think that this plane crash happens because of you? No, it happens because I have to go back to Kyoto. And no matter what you do, this remains the same”
“I know but…”
“Takahashi, don’t mess anything up when you go back, find me and tell me everything about second Year”
“How will I know where you live?”
“I’ll send you the address later, remember that”
“And don’t regret getting close to me, even if you had walked away. I would have followed you. I wanted to be close to you, don’t blame yourself”
“But if you never knew me, you wouldn’t have wanted to get close to me”
“Idiot! I enjoyed the time I spent with you; I don’t want to forget this year. And I’m sure you don’t either. If you do something stupid when you go back. I won’t know about you Hina or Eiji.”
“Okay… I will tell you everything when I go back”
“Thanks… this is probably my last year, and I liked the way I spent it with you guys. If you act on your own and change anything…”
“I understand, I won’t do anything stupid.”
Takahashi: what should I do now… this is awkward…
“How have you been lately?” (Sachi)
“Just okay… don’t feel like doing anything. Just listening to music mostly.”
“Don’t tell others we met like this”
“Ok… I won’t”
“I think I should go home now...”
“I’ll walk with you...”
Even though she’s going away in some days, nothing comes to my mind to talk about… this silence is hurting… walking back home like this… feels like the last time… because she won't be here after the new year festival… I don't want her to go…
“Can I be selfish?” (Takahashi)
“Huh…? (Takahashi hugs her)” (Sachi)
“What if I say I don’t want you to go” (Takahashi)
“What do you expect me to say, okay I won’t?”
“No… But if I don’t let go… you won’t go anywhere...”
“Takahashi, you are acting childish again… this won’t change anything”
“Your leaving hurts...”
“I know, it hurts me too. But what can we do?”
“Exactly… So, you have to let me go… physically and mentally. I’m sorry if this sounds rude. But a day will come when you are happily living your life, and you don’t even remember me probably. I know it hurts now, but it will get better (Takahashi lets go)” (Sachi)
“You are such a crybaby, haha” (Sachi)
“Shut up… don’t look...”
“Haha… I’m sorry Takahashi, I have to leave like this. But just accept it. How long are you going to keep doing this?”
“I don’t know...”
“Remember this park?”
“How can I forget…”
“You were crying here too”
“You seriously have to mention that…”
“If I had known at that time, how sensitive you can be… I would have tried to stay away myself… but probably would have failed…”
“Stop apologizing. It was worth it, meeting you. So, thanks”
“Yeah, I feel the same”
“Yeah, so don’t be sad that I’m going. Be happy that you met me”
Takahashi: this feeling… it’s the same I felt when Sachi stepped Infront of me to save me from Shinichi…
“I wish… I had time to get to know more about you, so that I could properly fall in love with you…”
“Haha… since when did you become the romantic guy”
“I don’t know… just said what I was feeling”
“I feel the same”
“I’ll be going now; my house is this way”
Takahashi: my heart is screaming don’t go while my mind is saying let go, it’s enough…
“I see… take care”
“I will, bye”
(After reaching home)
Aaah… I’m so tired… Sachi messaged… it must be the address. yeah, it is. How will I remember it? I can’t take anything back with me… except my memories. Learning is the only way I guess.
I should just go to sleep again for now.