Dream

I haven't dreamt in years.

They used to be so vivid, as if I was really experiencing life in another world—a better one. Every night I would bear witness to untold wonders. Sometimes it would be as fantastical as flying through a sea of clouds with skywhales or basking in the warmth of dual-colored suns; other days it would be simplistic, like sipping herbal tea with my late grandparents with a side of butter cookies and acceptance.

The possibilities were limitless. In my dreams I wasn't restricted by responsibilities or norms, I had freedom to be whoever I wanted to be.

While I can't remember them all, the ones I do are hard to do justice with mere words. Traveling through the faewilds, exploring the reefs of a mystical sea, mingling with shapeshifting friends with powerful magics that could alter reality—each one was a unique journey experiencing things I thought impossible.

I loved every moment of it.

At least until it suddenly stopped.

The moment of my twelfth birthday, everything vanished. No dreams, no nightmares. From that point on all I was left with was life's reality and a strange emptiness that robbed me of joy.

I tried to go back—did absolutely everything that I could for years. But regardless of my efforts, the end results would always be the same: no more escape for me, only the tactless embrace of the void. It was torture, trying to learn how to live in the constraints of a reality that felt so wrong.

And yet despite all of my failures, tears, and eventual acceptance, I made it to where I am now in one piece—well-adjusted and normal, unlike the child I used to be. Because sometimes you just have to accept the facts instead of losing yourself in delusions that your future has no place for.

Light streams from the window, illuminating the walls in a faint, almost ethereal pastel glow as I yawn. There are no noises from the morning yet—neither birds nor cars nor the rustling of leaves; just a quiet that inhabits where it should be in the bareness of my bedroom.

It looks like I've had yet another dreamless sleep, though I suppose that isn't too surprising. Why would the day that I leave for university be any different?

After a few seconds I lift myself out of bed and make my way to the closet. The day hasn't started yet, but that's no excuse not to get ready, especially since my parents would get upset if I'm not. I've spent my whole life preparing for this moment, so I can't let my stupid feelings sabotage the life that's right ahead of—

Wait, what's that?

Despite my blurry vision, I can tell that something's off about my dresser. Well, not the dresser itself, but rather the mirror on top of it. It should be showing me, but instead it's showing something else—someone that only resembles me. In fact, now that I've had time to look, the entire room in the mirror is different. It's full of color and various interests that I could never pursue instead of the monochrome I've long become accustomed to.

My reflection smiles back.

I cautiously reach my hand out toward them. They're like me in so many ways, but lither, softer, and with long black hair that flows over their shoulders. Each of my movements, gestures, and expressions are performed flawlessly by them in turn but with a glow of elegance I'm fully incapable of replicating.

A feeling starts to build in my chest, something between bewilderment and giddiness. It's oddly familiar but in a way that makes me guilty for even witnessing it.

Am I dreaming again?

Memories start to trickle back once I meet my doppelganger's fingers. I think I remember what I missed most of all from my dreams; it's this sense of fulfillment—or perhaps 'rightness' is the better term.

I palm the warm surface of the mirror as I try to piece together what the heck could be going on. Could I actually be dreaming now, or was I just hallucinating? I haven't really been eating much lately, so perhaps the latter could be—

"Hey, had enough time ogling yourself?"

"AAAH!"

I stumble backward, smacking my butt into the end of my bed before tumbling onto the sheets.

"W-what the hell?!"

"Sorry. Couldn't help myself," my reflection says with unnervingly bright eyes.

"Get away from me!" I pick up my pillow like a shield, ready for them to try anything, though instead they just pout.

"I said I'm sorry."

"What do you want?! And how the hell can my reflection talk!?"

They raise an eyebrow. "Are you seriously asking me that…?"

"I-I think it's a logical question! Reflections can't talk. They only show how you are."

"They do tend to show reality, true, but I think I'll protest that first part. I'm talking to you right now, aren't I?"

"This is ludicrous."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because I'm talking to my mirror like a lunatic. What else?!"

"I think you're being a little hard on yourself. Would it help if I do this?"

"Do what? I don't like the sound of—"

I nearly bite my tongue off as they climb out and plop down next to me on the bed, springing in response to their sudden weight.

"T-the heck is going on?! How did you do that?"

"Man, am I really this pathetic? Thought you'd be at least a little bit smarter by now—though being a little bit braver would've helped more."

"Answer me!"

"You're still a grade-A student, right? Surely you must have some ideas in that big forehead of yours, unless you've somehow forgotten… which is seeming more and more likely with each moment we spend talking."

"Oh, duh. Of course I'm dreaming. That has to be it. I'm dreaming for the first time in years and I'm being tormented by my inner psyche instead of literally anything better. Go figure the one good thing in my life has been ruined again."

I hesitate a little since it's been so long since I've dreamt, but quite frankly, this situation is unnerving me a lot, so I pinch myself hard in hopes of waking up.

"!" Crap. How come that didn't work?

"Good hypothesis, Pathetic Me, but as you've just demonstrated, that isn't quite the case. Care to take another guess?"

"I am not pathetic!"

"That's not exactly a guess, Pathetic Me."

"Y-you know what I mean. And stop calling me that!" I toss a pillow in my doppelganger's face to protest, though it doesn't do much aside from plopping down in their lap

They stare at me up and down as if witnessing a soaked cat pull itself from a river.

"…Right. Anyway, since you didn't answer, I'll ask again. What do you think is happening, Pathetic?"

"Oh come on, don't say it like it's my name!"

"That's still not an answer."

"F-fine. Did I… die in my sleep or something?"

The possibility sends chills down my spine. However, before I can get lost down that rabbit hole, my reflection shakes their head.

"I'll give you a clue. Have you ever heard of parallel worlds?"

"Wow. I really am going insane. Damn it, I don't want to get sent back to camp. I could've sworn I'd gotten better—!"

Everything freezes as my doppelganger places a hand on my shoulder.

"Is that why you stopped?"

"…Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Stopped visiting me."

"The heck? I have no idea who you are, why would I visit you?"

My comment gives them pause before they sigh.

"So you've really forgotten. Fine, I'll do a quick recap. I'm pretty much you, just a little bit different. Basically versions of each other that made different choices at different points in time."

"So you're me, Janus?"

"Not Janus. My name is Fenna."

"Isn't that a girl's name?"

"You love asking questions, don't you?"

"I'm just trying to get answers here! You have to admit, this is pretty damn strange."

"It really isn't. We used to do this all the time until you ran away from here."

"…Huh?"

"You heard me."

"I guess? But isn't this just my room? I don't think I've ever run away from it before."

"Not exactly. This is a dimension where parallel worlds collide—like mine and yours."

"…Are you trying to insinuate that I'm in a parallel world right now?"

"More like a hub, but close enough. Only took a few minutes of painful explanation. So, are you ready now?"

"R-ready for what?"

"What else? To dream again!"

They outstretch their hand and gesture toward the mirror that's taken on a luminous glow, beckoning to me as if tugging on my soul.

"Come on and follow. Another adventure awaits us!"

"B-but what about my life?"

"What about it?"

"Will I be back again in time to leave? My whole life has been leading up to this moment, and I can't just stop everything for a delusion."

My doppelganger's face drops in a sigh as they look between me and the mirror.

"Is that really what you think?"

"O-obviously. I can't abandon my responsibilities. I have roles to play and obligations to uphold. People are counting on me!"

For a long moment they study my face as if peering past my answer.

"!" Then without warning, they grab me by the arm and pull me beyond the mirror.