The cringe on the channel

Mimoko made her way over to the couch and propped her feet up as she tuned into the Chess Channel.

"Welcome! Today we have Cyril Milverton the silky sifaka vs Boulder Boulder, a boulder that plays chess!" Kisha cheered as she gestured towards Cyril and a man dressed like a boulder.

Cyril eyed the boulder and sighed before opening the game by moving his pawn to c4. Boulder responded by moving his pawn to b5, resulting in Cyril naturally capturing it with his c-pawn. A6 and e4 followed before Boulder offered up another free pawn by moving one to d5. Cyril took it with his e-pawn, but then the boulder moved its bishop to d7.

"Stupid as a boulder," Cyril thought as he rolled his eyes before capturing the pawn at a6 with his b-pawn.

He spoke too soon as Boulder then captured said pawn with his rook.

"Boulder sacrifices the rooooooook!" Kisha cheered as Cyril captured the rook at a6 with his bishop.

"More like hung the rooook," Mimoko groaned as Boulder captured the bishop at a6 with his knight.

D4, knight f6, and knight f3 came next, providing some solid play, before knight captures d5 and knight e5 led to Boulder moving his pawn to f6.

"Check," Cyril grumbled as he moved his queen to h5.

This Boulder to move his pawn to g6, and prompted Cyril to capture said pawn with his knight. Then Boulder made Mimoko groan by capturing the knight at g6 with his h-pawn.

"Checkmate," Cyril sighed as he captured the pawn at g6 with his queen, winning the game.

Mimoko slowly turned to Daria. "Okaa-chan, please don't tell me this is the normal kind of quality shown on the channel."

"Well, see, this was a learning experience. In fact, it's a puzzle that pops up from time to time for the dailies," Daria nervously nodded.

"There's better ways to be instructive. The game we just went over would have been a much better fit."

"Well, they can't exactly broadcast my games since you know, I am a SECRET chess maestro."

"Not anymore."

"Policy still stands. Though if you want to try sprucing up things for the channel, you're welcome to film a game and send it on in."

"Hmm, perhaps I'll do just that."

The full game:

White: Cyril Milverton (2499) Black: Boulder Boulder (200)

1. c4 b5

2. cxb5 a6

3. e4 d5

4. exd5 Bd7

5. bxa6 Rxa6

6. Bxa6 Nxa6

7. d4 Nf6

8. Nf3 Nxd5

9. Ne5 f6

10. Qh5+ g6

11. Nxg6 hxg6

12. Qxg6#