Babysitter? Why do I need one of those?!

Damn, these suits work fast. It took them all of two days to pack us up with provisions for the journey and send us on our way. Good thing, too. I was getting bored and antsy after not firing my inferno for several days, and I got the feeling that doing it on prison grounds would be a very quick way to get the offer of freedom rescinded.

Oh, I keep saying “we” because they sent me with a 'supervisor,' by the way. That same old guy from before, with the big hood and stuff. Apparently he was thirty six. Thirty six, can you believe it! I didn’t even know humans could live that long. Now that he was out of the hood and wearing more normal adventurer-style clothes, I could see his face more clearly, and he was clearly weathered by time. Wrinkles everywhere, permanently furrowed brow, the whole shebang. It was interesting to see what extreme age could do to a person. Though, that didn’t mean I was happy to have him along.

“Why’ve they gotta send me with a babysitter? I’ve survived on my own for my whole life, I can go for a long walk without some old fogey slowing me down.” I looked up at him (I had to look quite high, he’s pretty tall) and shook my head. I had to make sure he knew I was annoyed. And also cool and aloof. Like, I can be all on my own without a fuss. Lone wolf style. Yeah, that’s right, I can fend for myself!

“I’m not here to keep you alive,” he replied, sounding weirdly exasperated as if I was the one slowing him down. “I’m here to kill you if you step out of line.”

“Oh, Immanuel. I know that’s just bluster. You wouldn’t hurt a dainty, harmless fourteen year old girl, would you?”

“Of course not. However, I would harm a pyromaniac terrorist fourteen year old girl without any hesitation,” he said. Meanie. “And my name is Fredrick.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, Immanuel. Do you really think I’d just disobey orders and get people hurt?”

“Without question, yes, I believe that.”

“Well you’re not wrong but it’s still hurtful.” I take back my complaints, this guy’s great, he takes my little jokes so seriously.

…he’s obviously not serious about killing me if I screw something up though. Right? Like, right? He wouldn’t. Nah, Immanuel’s chill.

I could see why he was the one they sent to come with me, though. He was a real big guy, probably good in a physical fight if his old bones don’t slow him down. And apparently he was skilled with wind magic too. I could definitely see him making a good sidekick for Bakuchan’s Epic Adventure. So long as he didn’t croak from old age on the way.

Yeah, this was gonna be fun. Just me and Immanuel, shooting the breeze. A pair of powerful, lovable adventurers off to save the kingdom.

Y’know, eventually.

“Hey, Immanuel?”

“Fredrick.”

“Immanuel, the point of this mission is to, like, save the kingdom from people that want to kill us, right?”

“Something to that effect.”

“So it’s pretty urgent and important?”

"I'd say so."

“So… why are we walking?”

“…”

He went all quiet and grumbly at that. Yeah, I feel ya, man. I hate walking. I hated walking from the cell to the meeting room, now they want me to hike across the kingdom? Couldn’t even spare one teleportation mage? Tightwads.

“I know teleportation is expensive and all, but were there no animals we could have taken? I know those lucky bastards in the north have their sledhounds, do we got nothing like that?”

“What do you want from me? To wrangle and ride a Heliphant?”

“Hell yeah! That’d be awesome!”

“No.”

“Oh.” Well that was disappointing. Heliphants are these huge animals with a massive trunk that can fly with wind magic. I’ve always wanted to try riding one, but I guess Immanuel was just teasing.

“Well, at least you and I have each other for company on this long journey, right, Immanuel? Just you and me, with all this time to talk and bond. Yeah, we’re gonna be best friends by the end of the day, I just know it.”

“If ‘she’s annoying’ was among the valid reasons for me to kill you, you’d be long buried by now.”

“Oh, you!”

Yeah, we were gonna have a great time.

***

I take it all back. Walking sucks!

“Immanueeeel, are we there yet?”

“My answer is the same as when you asked five minutes ago.”

“Well we’ve been walking for two days! How much longer could it possibly take?!”

“Two and a half months.”

“Two and a-?!”

Oh my god. I understand now. There was never a mission to save the country. This is just a cruel and unusual execution method! Death by walking! Immanuel had betrayed me! And here I thought we were best buds!

“May the very ground shake at my comma- hey, what do you think you're you doing?!” Immanuel snatched my staff out of my hands before I could get my spell off.

“What do you think you’re doing? Why were you aiming an inferno spell at yourself?”

“Was this not all an elaborate scheme to get me to kill myself?”

“Oh good god in heaven...”

Well you could have fooled me! Who makes a malnourished teenager walk across a whole country?! I’m not exactly the peak of athleticism!

“Look, I understand you’re probably tired, but we’re coming up on a hamlet with a proper inn for us to stay in. We’ll rest there for the day, then-“

“Go straight back to the capital and tell them to book us a teleporter!”

“-continue on our journey. On foot.”

“You are trying to kill me!”

“I will be if you keep being so damned uncooperative.”

Man, I couldn’t even get any entertainment out of bullying Immanuel anymore. This journey sucks.

It was another fifteen minutes or so of walking in silence before anything actually happened. Thankfully, though, it seemed like excitement was on the horizon to quell my boredom for a moment. I put my hand to my forehead so I could see further, and down along the road I could see someone running towards us. As that person got closer, I could just about make out that it was a girl around my age. She seemed to be in quite the hurry.

“Hey look, a new frie-“

“Wind cutter!”

“Woah!” I staggered backwards as Immanuel’s spell arced through the air towards the girl. “What the hell, man! You really don’t hesitate to hurt young girls! Evil!”

“I wasn’t aiming for the girl, you idiot! Look!”

I looked back towards her to see her sitting on the road, facing away from us and panting heavily. Behind her was the carcass of a beowolf, split cleanly in half by Immanuel’s spell. Wonderful aim, honestly. He really did have the makings of a great sidekick.

Immanuel and I ran to the girl, who was covered in cuts and bruises. Always a shame to see a pretty face utterly wasted by being covered in blood and dirt. All too common in this line of work.

“Woah, you alright there, missy?” I said, crouching down next to her.

“My home…” she whispered, holding her bleeding arm. “A whole pack… everyone’s in danger...”

Immanuel and I locked eyes. And the biggest grin spread across my face. Finally! An excuse to blow something up!