Unwanted feelings

Downing his third mug of coffee that morning, Mason stared at his laptop, rewatching the security cameras for the thousandth time, still stuck on how the woman disappeared. But he was just as equally, if not more, worried about Nico, who had reverted to when they first met, detached and cold, very different from the Nico he came to know who sat next to him on the sofa. He made even less noise somehow and didn’t leave the corner of the living room, sitting behind the curtains playing by himself. A lot of parents would be happy to have such a quiet child.

Mason opened a bag of gummy bears, waiting for Nico to come over so they could share it and be done with the stifling atmosphere, but he didn't move, didn’t even look his way. The gummy bear he ate tasted bitter, and he dropped the bag on the counter. He was doing the same thing adults around him had done when he was a child- expecting him to take the first step either out of necessity or affection, when they were the ones in the wrong. Mason took a deep breath, closing his laptop, and walked to Nico, pushing the curtains away and sitting in front of him.

“Hey, kid,” Mason started, his eyes fidgeting before focusing on Nico. “I’m sorry for yelling at you.” Even if Nico didn’t understand his words, he would understand what Mason was trying to convey. “We were in a bad situation, and it's not your fault. I decided to take you, so it’s my fault in the first place.” Mason raked his hair, looking down, chewing on his lip, before he looked at Nico again. “I was scared,” Mason murmured, a tinge on his cheeks because that might have been the first time he ever admitted it out loud. “I was scared that you were going to get hurt because of me. I shouldn’t have yelled like that. I’m sorry, Nico.”

Tears filled Nico’s eyes, and he wailed. The sound of his crying was so alien Mason had trouble registering what it was for a second. He reached out slowly to pick him up, and held him close, patting his back to calm him down. For the first time since yesterday, Mason was able to take a deep breath without the weight on his shoulders. “We can’t have that happen again,” Mason told him.

Nico nodded, his eyes red. “‘owy Meih,” Nico apologised, and Mason smiled. Mason balled his hand, did the same for Nico, and bumped them together.

Mason took Nico to the sofa, and while eating the gummy bears, he spoke again. “I still need to do some work, but we will be going during the day this time,” he started. “It shouldn’t be as dangerous as yesterday, but I need you to do what I ask you. Can you do that?” Nico nodded several times. “Good.”

The street was as busy as it had been when the woman was last seen, and Mason followed her steps for the second time, with Nico right next to him. He couldn’t see anything out of place as they walked towards the alley, until something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. He turned to Nico, making some idle chatter, and let his eyes wander to the other side of the road where two men walked the same way as them, who he was absolutely sure worked for Duke.

He held onto Nico’s hand a little tighter but acted as if they were just out for a walk. Right then, two steps away to his side, Mason recognised the bulky man who walked past them as the man that talked to him in the alley. Alarms blarred inside his brain, and it took everything in him to keep his smile and say something else to Nico, as he noticed a man standing by the entrance of the alley reading a newspaper, and another one smoking across the road, pacing up and down the smaller street.

Instinct told him they all worked for Duke, and they were all looking for him. They weren’t looking for someone who looked suspicious, nor were they looking for the woman. They were specifically looking for him. At least that was what Mason's instincts told him. It was either instinct or fear, and at that moment Mason couldn’t discern which one was speaking to him. The drumming in his ears soon turned into a high-pitched continuous beep, until it was interrupted by the sound of the gruff voice from the night before. 

“Sober now?” the man asked, walking back a couple of steps to look at Mason directly. Mason blinked slowly. His feet were pinned to the floor. “Yesterday, you and the kid were back there, and you both looked like hell,” the man explained, assuming Mason’s reaction was confusion and not panic.

Mason nodded. He needed to say something, but that something was stuck to his throat. “Ah, yes. I don’t remember much.”

“You should stop doing that in front of the kid, you know. Kids watch and copy everything, man.” Mason nodded, holding Nico’s hand harder. “Take my business card. If you need money or something else, let me know. I’ll give you a discount because of the kid, you know.”

The man was already walking past him along with his colleague before Mason noticed he was holding a small card.

It was too dangerous to stay there. Everything seemed too dangerous, even breathing. Mason had a feeling that if he breathed too loudly, they would hear it and they would come back for him. So he walked as fast as Nico could take it, until the end of the street and hailed a taxi. Not even when the taxi dropped them off near the park Nico liked, and Mason had made sure they hadn't been followed, could he relax. 

Before, he didn't bat an eye if anyone was looking for him or if someone threatened to kill him. He would give them the middle finger and do what needed to be done. This panic he felt for the slight chance that he might be caught was new, unwelcome, and loathsome, and he didn't know what to do with it or how to make it go away.

It was exhausting. 

His plan was to walk home, but before Mason noticed, they were standing in front of one of his favourite places. The small ice cream shop was still as bright and flowery as always.

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” said Bella, who was cleaning a table when she noticed Mason walking in. He couldn’t hide his smile around her.

“Been busy.” Mason shrugged. “How is it going?” He looked around; two tables were occupied with people working on their laptops, and the cashier seemed bored enough to count the coffee beans on top of the coffee-flavoured ice cream.

“Not bad,” Bella smirked, one of her brows lifting before dragging her eyes to Nico. “And who might you be?” Nico’s attention turned to her for a full two seconds before he continued to stare at all the colourful ice creams and pastries.

“He’s–,” Mason started, then paused. He hadn’t thought through what to say, so he said the first thing it popped into his head. “He’s my nephew.”

“I thought you were an orphan,” she said, motioning for them to sit. He had forgotten he had told her that.

Mason nodded. “He’s my nephew in name only.” She made an appreciative motion with her head. “Hey,” he called and waited until the child peeled his eyes away from the food and looked at him. “This is Bella. She is–” He stopped again. He should have thought what to say before opening his mouth. His eyes jumped to her, and he saw her smirk growing into mischief as she crossed her arms and cocked her hip.

Mason’s mouth opened and closed as he blinked a few times before turning to look at Nico, who watched him attentively. Were they friends? Peers? Colleagues? They weren’t strangers because she knew he was an orphan and he knew she used to be a nurse. “She is a friend,” he said, his voice lower than normal, breaking a little.

She chuckled. “For a moment there I thought you were going to say I was just the shop’s owner.” It did cross his mind, but that sounded more distant than he wanted it to be. “I’ll bring you something to eat,” Bella said before walking away.