The Warmth on My Head

I was always looking for it. It felt like I lost it when I wasn't aware of it, but now it was the only thing on my mind. I did whatever possible to find it, but maybe I had lost it completely. Had I made peace with that fact? No. I will never give up on it.

I was focusing on my maths homework when I heard the doorbell ringing. I dashed to see who it was. To my delight, it was nee-san. She was looking the same: lazily carrying her bag, slightly drowsy-eyed after multiple encounters in a single day when she wasn't quite prepared, and that same old dull smile that she plastered on top of her face to deceive others. But something was different today. It looked like a heavy burden had been lifted off her, as her shoulders were a bit straighter. I wondered when I had started noticing these small details about her, enough to predict what had happened in her day. Well, if she had talked about it, I wouldn't have to read between the lines.

"I'm home!" She cheered out loudly, to let the whole house know. She had already started removing her shoes, maybe a bit too hastily.

"Welcome home, nee-san. Hope you had a great day." I gave my usual greeting.

To my surprise, today was actually different. Nee-san walked up beside me and patted my head before continuing towards her room. As she towered over me, I regretted that I just couldn't sneak in a glance at her face. But her hand was quite warm on my head. It was enough to make me giddy.

I lazed around in the living room, enjoying the latest episode of Precure while waiting for dinner to be set up. It's really the best time of the day!

"Time for dinner." My mom declared, not that we had a say in when it was served. Well, it was 8 PM already, so better to get started.

I was about to leave and invite nee-san, but just like before, she was already present at the dining table. Today must really have been something else. We started on the food silently, but it looked like she had other plans as she lowered her rice bowl, setting her chopsticks neatly stacked on top of it.

"Mom, I'll be slightly late for the rest of this week."

"Hmm? Some school activity?"

"Yeah, kind of. I was wrapped into the club again for the festival. It's not the most demanding one, but I have promised that I will help out."

"That's nice for a good change of pace. I'll get the dinner made a bit later."

"You don't have to do that, it's fine."

"You'll need energy for such activities. You just focus up on school."

"Ah...ok. Thanks mom."

The conversation flowed smoothly, and I really felt that I could join in as well.

"Will you be playing again, nee-san?" I was genuinely curious, and just wanted to see her play again. I had a beautiful memory of her biggest smile when she made that shot in middle school.

"It's not confirmed, but maybe yeah."

She said that with a gentle smile, not that big, but it felt genuine. I felt giddy by myself, and couldn't seem to control my excitement. Maybe I can grasp it now; it felt close. I wasn't sure why I lost it, but I definitely knew who could bring it back. I hoped for her success silently.