The Word She Left Me With

The rice ball my mother packed was still warm when I opened my bag at school. I looked around the classroom and noticed the other students were busy with all kinds of things, from handicrafts to food preparation. The air felt soothing as it signaled the start of the festival, but I wasn't quite intrigued by it. There were a lot of other concerns that took precedence over that.

I didn't know what kind of face I'd make when I visited the club later. But since I'd already agreed to this proposition, I might as well do my best. While I quickly settled that trivial concern, the bigger one was already right in front of me. Saya came to my desk, ready to share her food as usual.

"Better stack up your stomach. You will need it later in the day."

"I think Mom was already aware of that." I showed Saya the huge stack of rice balls, simple but still fulfilling.

"Oooh, nice. But ... but you still want the rolled omelet, right?" she asked in a sheepish voice, her ears shining in the bright light with a slight shade of magenta.

"Yeah, can never say no to that."

Saya, quickly relieved, sat down next to me and we started lunch.

"By the way, our class is doing a themed cafe of some sort for the festival. I think it's dinosaur based?"

"What the heck? That's so random." I couldn't stop myself from chuckling at whoever came up with it.

"Yeah, but anyway, I'll be a server as well so do come and pay a visit if you get time."

"Sure, I'll be there." Even if you didn't ask me, I would have come.

"Speaking of the festival, will you be fine in the club?" She genuinely seemed concerned, and I felt the same.

"I don't know. I feel like most of the members took it pretty casually when I left, but some were quite unhappy. I'll try not to take too much part in what's going on. Anyway, I'm quite out of shape, so they shouldn't have much to do with me."

Saya looked a bit sad after hearing my plan. With her head down, she gobbled a small takoyaki ball. It took a lot of time to chew it down. Then she violently shook her head and looked towards me.

"You should try to amend your relationship with the team. This might be your last chance."

Her eyes sparkled as she looked deep inside me. It was like she was speaking to someone else, not the me who was chatting with her, giving excuses and making makeshift plans.

"I will try, Saya. But let's go back home together after practice, OK?"

"Sure, I'll be waiting."

We wrapped up lunch as the lesson was starting. I reckoned I should give it a try at least. But in my mind, it was becoming hard to understand what I really wanted. And what did I want from Saya?