The Delusion of Stars

I sit curled up against the wall in the hallway of an old abandoned school. My hands cover my eyes so that I can avoid reality.

It’s like it never happened if I just don’t open my eyes.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been sitting here, but I can’t bring myself to stand up and look.

The bodies of Simon and Sarah lay next to me in a pool of blood. The air smells of rust and makes my stomach churn.

My confidence in my own abilities is what caused all of this. It’s my fault. I thought that I was so strong I could handle any situation. Yet, even with six gems, I couldn’t save Sarah. No, I caused her death.

I killed her.

Some hero I am. All I’ve done is kill and watch others die. Sarah was more of a hero than I ever was. She saved me, in more ways than one.

But now, she’s gone. Sarah and Dylan have both left and I’ll never be able to see them again.

If I were stronger then… No. This is me being stronger. My strength is unparalleled and I still let Sarah die. It has nothing to do with my power, it’s my stupidity. My confidence brought about my downfall. Maybe if I had told Sarah about what Kyle said… If I had just consulted her then she wouldn’t have died. Even if she was wrong and tried to stop me… She wouldn’t have been killed.

“Well, this doesn’t look good,” a familiar voice speaks from the entrance of the school.

“…What do you want?” I mutter without uncovering my eyes.

“I came to see how things went. Looks pretty bad.”

Slowly, I peak out from behind my hands to see the two fresh corpses surrounding me.

I wasn’t even able to hear Sarah’s cries before she died. They were drowned away by me lashing out at Simon.

A bright red puddle covers the floor. Ripples flow through the crimson as Kyle walks over to me.

“Stay back!” I yell preparing to fight.

“Let’s calm down now. I’m here to help.”

I stumble up onto my feet while leaning against the wall. I glare at Kyle as if to say ‘Don’t come any closer.’

A wet drip and plop echoes through the hall with every step I take. I kneel down next to Simon and remove a glass gem from his pocket. The seventh gem begins to shine yellow in my palm.

Blood stains my knees and hands. I step over Sarah and push Kyle out of the way of the door. I can’t stay here any longer. I’ll really go mad.

It’s already night. I raise my hand and try to touch the stars.

Deep breath in.

And out.

I feel a complex spiral of emotions inside of me that I can’t possibly describe.

Kyle walks up and stops beside me.

“What’s your dream?” He asks.

“I… I want to become… a hero,” I repeat the line I’ve used so many times before.

“I see.”

Seems like he was just curious. Silence takes the stage while we stand in the cold of night.

“What is it that you truly want?” He asks a very similar question. Well, maybe it’s the same one.

“I want to become a hero,” I repeat once more.

“That’s the thing you want most right now? Well, let me ask a different way. If you were to become god right now, what would you do?”

…

That’s right. I can still fix this. I can fix everything. If I become god, if I go through with my plan, I can bring them back. I could see Dylan and Sarah again!

“I want to bring them back.”

“Yes. That’s understandable.”

“So, please, will you willingly give me your gem?”

He stops and thinks for a moment before speaking. Somehow, just that moment of silence reminds me of her, “Honestly, I imagined you would have given up on your dream by now. I thought your gems would be empty.”

I figured. There was no chance he wanted to die. He was just using me as a convenient way to gather the gems. Not that he stands a chance in a fight.

“I’ve been wondering, Kyle. Did you do this all on purpose? What’s the real reason that you caused so much chaos? Why did you have Luke attack me in the first place?”

“That could be a number of things. Perhaps I wanted to test out my theory. Maybe I wanted to gather the gems myself. Possibly, I wanted some entertainment. No matter what I say, you won’t believe me.”

“Tch. You probably just wanted entertainment. You’re sickening.”

“See? What kind of person do you see me as? Who is it that you imagine me to be? Am I a monster to you? Am I a villain? Am I evil?”

“Yes. You’re the worst thing that has happened to me. When I look back on it, you started all of this. You gathered us up and brought us to a discrete location. You told us we could kill each other and that others could kill us. You even singled out a desperate and unstable Luke and told him to kill someone. I’m sure you’ve done even more that I didn’t even recognize.”

“Heh, you’re different than you used to be. You seem to have matured into quite the skeptic. But, yes. If I had, say, taught Rachel how to spoof a phone number, you’d never know.”

I can’t even get mad. The sight of the soothing stars above us calms me. They’re so… close.

“I figured something like that might be the case.”

Silence consumes the conversation once again. We both stare into the sky.

“I see them too.”

Huh?

“What are you talking about?” I ask.

“The stars. I see them too. Right now, they’re closer to us than they've ever been. It feels as though they’re taunting me,” he takes a deep breath and then continues. “Did you know? The word aspire means to hope to achieve something, like for a goal to come true. A goal that is far away, one that you can only hope for, is often times called a dream. So to aspire could mean to dream, or to try and reach that dream. The word aspire comes from the Latin ‘aspirare.’ It’s a word that means, ‘to breathe.’ In other words, it’s only natural to dream and try to accomplish those dreams. Dreaming comes as a necessary part to life. Dreaming is as essential as breathing. But, I’ve been thinking, after coming this far, what have I really been chasing after? Dreams share many properties with delusions. Was this all… was it… worth it?”

Somehow, Kyle’s words strike a chord with me. He summarized my complex feeling of looking into the stars in a few sentences.

“Yes,” I agree. “Sadly, only one of our dreams can come true.”

He chuckles again, “It seems that way.”

I relish in the silence for a while longer. The stars are still out tonight, I can still fix this. I can fix everything.

“Kyle… are you certain that you’re theory is correct? I can still save them, can’t I?”

Kyle stands in the darkness considering my question, “I don’t know. Honestly, it’s a stretch. There aren’t any guarantees in life, but if obtaining the eighth gem doesn’t give us the power we need…”

It’s all over.

“… Then the only way to find out is for me to kill you,” I prepare myself for battle.

“Before we get into the meat of it, let’s talk a little more. After we kill each other, we won’t be able to talk again.”

“I suppose, but I don’t have anything interesting to say.”

“It does seem like we’re out of words, doesn’t it? Only so much can be said in language. Maybe you’re right, it might be time to finish this,” With a final deep breath, a final aspiration. “Although, one last thing… these goals we’re fighting for, these aspirations we’ve killed for, these delusions... they may be called dreams for a reason.”

“Possibly. But, I have to reach it. No matter how far away they are, even if your theory is wrong, I’ve lost too much to give up now.”

“Then, Allen…”

We both look at each other and turn our backs, gaining a little more distance before the final battle. Only one of us can make it out of here.

“Ready?” Kyle confirms.

“Yes.”

I hold my seven gems in the palm of my hand. I can win this.

“Then let us begin.”

Kyle stands still with his hands in his pocket. Somehow even in the final battle, his voice and eyes are still as tired as always. Although, now I feel a bit of understanding with him. We might be more similar than I initially thought. His constantly bored expression now seems a little sad.

A strength surges through my body, justice will be delivered onto this villain.

The biggest problem in this fight will be figuring out Kyle’s ability. Right now, I’m guessing that he can teleport objects.

I open my hand and drop the gems on the floor, knowing that they’ll simply vanish into my pockets when the battle starts. The moment I hear the sound of the gems hitting the grass, I launch at Kyle with more speed than I ever have before.

Kyle continues looking uninterested as I fly towards him. His hands remain in his pockets and he doesn’t even flinch.

Suddenly, two tree roots tear out of the ground on both sides of him. Both roots move diagonally into my path to intercept me.

What kind of ability is that!? He can move tree roots and teleport bodies? That doesn’t add up.

Unable to avoid the roots now in my path, I try to punch them out of the way to maintain my momentum. Somehow, the one I was aiming for bends out of the way and wraps itself around my wrist. Now locked in my position, I look back and attempt to kick the second root, only for it to wrap around my ankle.

They’re strong! I tug and pull with the strongest force I can output, but I’m stuck in place.

Kyle, hands still in his pockets, slowly walks up to me and speaks tired and unsurprised, “Even with all of the power you have, something as weak as this will stop you?”

Damn it!

I continue to struggle against the roots and start to feel them breaking. Kyle is in arms reach and he thinks I can’t move. This has to be my chance. I suddenly snap the root attached to my wrist and slam my arm into him.

Like after the battle with Rachel, my hand swipes right by him even though I could’ve sworn that it was a perfect hit.

It looks like this fight won’t be as easy as I thought.

The remaining root on my ankle bends down and throws me into the air.

I fly straight upwards while the wind rushes past my ears.

What’s his ability? The key to winning has to be finding out what his ability is. He can seemingly teleport, make bodies disappear, and control tree roots. How does that all add up? Now that I think of it, he probably made the roots. There aren’t any trees that would have roots positioned right where he was.

I ponder my options as my speed slows down and I reach the apex of the throw. The wind passing by calms down and I slowly begin my descent.

I can easily use my ability to negate the damage from falling, but if Kyle watched my fight with Rachel, he knows that. He must be planning on intercepting me on the ground.

As I approach the grass, Kyle looks up at me from a short distance of where I’ll land. I spin around to a standing up position and prepare to kick the ground with my feet on impact.

My feet slam into the ground with insane force. The ground cracks beneath my feet and leaves a crater where I landed. It’s small with a diameter about the size of a large plate, but I’m surprised that I have that much power. The landing makes a thunderous noise like an explosive went off. This power is nothing like I had with six gems.

No, I don’t think it’s because of my gem count.

It must be that I need to be a hero now more than ever. Not only is the most evil person I’ve ever met standing in front of me, if I beat him, I have a chance to save Dylan and Sarah.

Why didn’t I get attacked as I landed, though? That would have been the perfect time to tangle me up again. Although, I’m confident that the strength of my kick would have destroyed them, I thought he’d try it anyway. There would be no harm in it.

The two roots are gone and Kyle once again stands in front of me.

“You’re strong. Do you think that the ge-” Kyle is interrupted by a punch heading straight for him. Yet, somehow, he’s just out of reach.

I continue to send a barrage of punches his way and run towards him while he continues his speech, just out of reach, “Rude. I was trying to ask if the gems may be responsible for the amount of power you have right now. It’s incredible, really. This is nothing like you were in your fight with Rachel. Even when you fought Simon, you were worlds weaker than you are now.”

Frustrated with the man who’s so close, yet so far, I stomp the floor as hard as I can to shake the ground and knock Kyle off balance. The ground quakes and he stumbles backwards.

Now!

I throw my body weight and all of my strength into a downwards punch on the falling Kyle. Instead of crushing him into the ground, my fist is caught by a tree root. I tear through it quickly but it gives him just enough time to stumble his way back up and out of reach.

The fact that he rushed to get up and moved away instead of just being out of reach must mean that he would have been damaged by that. But, what’s the rule then?

“Somethings off,” Kyle observes. “Why aren’t you going all out?”

Is he taunting me!?

I leap off the ground towards him but he simply steps out of the way to dodge me.

I land a little ways away with my back turned. With his speed, he could already be behind me right now. My back is wide open. That little outburst I just had could cost me greatly.

As quickly as possible, I turn around and swing my arm to prevent any sneak attacks. But, there weren’t any. Kyle is as far away as I left him, and not a single branch was out.

Why didn’t he-?

Kyle scratches his head and looks deep in thought. He has the gall to tell me I’m not going all out? What’s with him? He’s arguably stronger than I am and he only has one gem!

To think I had considered myself the strongest without even acknowledging his existence. He’s multiple times stronger than I was with only one gem.

Once again, I leap over towards him preparing another punch. Suddenly, the ground lifts up into a wall in front of him. Pure earth stands as a thick wall between us.

Using my momentum, I continue my assault and throw a large punch at the wall. It leaves a dip in it the exact way my landing did earlier. How thick is this wall!? It definitely should’ve shattered.

Quickly, I around to the other side, not giving him enough time to escape, but he isn’t there. Where did he go? Did he teleport away?

No wait!

I turn back and look up only to see Kyle on top of the ‘wall’ he rose earlier. From this angle, it’s obvious that it’s no wall, it’s a platform. It’s about as tall as the old school building, the size of the average one story house.

From the side of it grows three more tree roots, it’s obvious that he can move the earth too, but those seem to be his favorite. They extend themselves towards me and I simply knock them away. We’re at a complete impasse.

“Well. I guess it’s a stalemate then,” Kyle continues his uninterested look in the middle of our death battle.

“Are you telling me that you give up!? Our dreams are this close!”

“No, I could never give up. Not on this. But, if it’s impossible…”

Those words make me more angry than anything Kyle has ever said. I feel my face turn red and I smoke coming out of my ears.

“If you don’t feel the need to fight for your dream, then die for mine!!!”

With a roar, I punch the platform again, sending a shock wave up and through it to knock him over again. I easily jump to the top of the house-sized plateau and punch the off-balance villain.

Again, he stands just out of reach, but because of that, he’s now on the very edge of the platform. He’s cornered.

His eyes glance down at my toes, why-?

I look down just in time to notice two tree roots spin up my legs, binding me to this spot.

I try kick but my legs won’t move, so I swiftly try to punch them away. Right before my hand reaches them, the root branches off and sends another to twist around my arm, locking it in place too.

With one hand left, I once again try to scrape the roots off only to be caught again.

My arms and legs are both bound leaving me standing helpless. I continue to struggle and tug my way free. The first time, they broke much easier. I guess it’s harder to get free since all of my limbs are sealed off this time.

Kyle steps away from the edge of the platform, but doesn’t get too close to me. I almost hit him last time.

With all of my muscle, I strain myself trying to pull free. My arms and legs feel like they’re burning. I hear the roots start to creak. If they don’t break right now, I guarantee another one is going to impale me. I might be too late.

I tightly shut my eyes to focus on pulling the roots off. Slowly but surely the branches begin to crack. After a few more seconds, my right arm breaks free, followed by my left.

Relieved, I reopen my eyes and pull the branches off my legs.

Why didn’t he kill me there? That was the perfect opportunity. He’s only countering my advances, he hardly makes any himself.

Not even bothering to attack again, I watch him carefully as I think. Kyle continues looking tired and keeps his hands in his pocket. He doesn’t make any moves. I wonder if he’s thinking too?

What’s his ability? At first I suspected it was teleportation because of the missing bodies and his evasion, but I’ll be damned if he can control it precisely enough to move the ground and control branches. Although, the branches probably weren’t even in the ground before he moved them. It seems like they were created. But, why tree branches?

Seems like teleportation is out of the question.

This is tough. Maybe… nature manipulation? That doesn’t even makes sense. He can teleport!

What if he can create matter? Maybe he can control what he created too. If that’s the case, he could be creating the ground and the branches. What if he just moved the ground under him like that to create the illusion of me missing and him teleporting?

No. That doesn’t even begin to explain the missing bodies, unless he can destroy matter too. If that were the case though, I’d be dead already.

So what is it!?

I’m not smart enough for this. It seems like a dead end for me too. I curse my stupidity, but I can’t change it. Normally in this situation I’d… ask Sarah.

What would she say?

“… Don’t give up yet. I know you can figure it out.”

Maybe it would be something like that.

Her voice already feels so distant, like I’ll forget it if I don’t save her right here.

“You’ve got this. We believe in you,” I can almost imagine Dylan chiming in with a smile on his face.

I won’t give up yet. For myself. For them.

Think!

Yes… that’s right. I’m going about this all wrong. I’m trying to find out his ability, but that isn’t what I should search for at all! What’s his… Delusion?

Kyle’s own theory is what will allow me to narrow down the search.

Your Delusion manifests to allow you to achieve your dream. It lets you ‘wish’ for something and make it come true. For me that was to be a hero, for Sarah it was to be invisible, for Luke it was to be a wall, for Simon it was to live, for Rachel it was to be someone else. Where does Kyle fit in? He never told me what it was that he wanted to accomplish. He asked me, but I didn’t bother to ask him back. Wait a minute. What if-

What if he was an exception, the same way Christina and Dylan were? I could have never understood why Dylan’s Delusion wasn’t a wish, but someone in the same predicament easily could. So going under the assumption that Kyle’s ability was based off of a character flaw he knew of, what would his Delusion be?

Well, he’s one hell of a liar. What if he hates lying? A liar who despises lies… that sounds exactly like something he’d say. He loves contradictions and word play and openly admitted to being a liar. Earlier, he justified the lies too. It was subtle, but he did. He said something along the lines of it being impossible to tell a lie from the truth, in that being the case, what’s the difference between lying and telling the truth? Is that his way of justifying behavior that he himself is disgusted by?

A liar who hates lying justifies his own lies by saying they are true if someone else believes them.

His ability probably has something to do with deceiving me.

I see…

He couldn’t attack me when I wasn’t looking either. He drew my gaze to the floor before having the roots tangle me up.

It all makes sense then. He creates illusions.

Well played, Kyle.

Any illusion that I see, that I believe, comes true because of my gems. They become my ‘Delusion.’ His power is proportional to how many gems his opponents have. The more gems, the more real the illusions are.

In other words, it isn’t his ability that created the tree roots or the plateau…

It was mine.

He simply showed me the foundation.

Even though I still hate him, deciphering his identity like this feels wrong. It makes him feel like more of a human than he used to. Knowing that the liar and villain has been struggling all along almost makes me sympathetic.

However, this is no time for that. He caused this. He did it all for his goal, his aspiration, his dream. Although I’ll never know what it was that he wished to accomplish, I’ll kill him right now.

***

“I’m a liar. The worst of the worst. I’m a person who lies through their teeth and regrets it. But, can I blame myself? I can’t help it. One lie leads to another, slowly making my life a tangle of lies and deceit. I hate being a liar, I regret it. Do I have to be a person like this? I hide who I am behind whichever lie suits me for the moment.”

-is what I would think, but who knows? Lying isn’t really such a bad thing. Do I really regret it?

Or is that just another lie?

Really. I never really feel sorry about what I did, do I? I’d stop if that were the case. There’s no way for even me to tell what the truth is. People continue on with their lives by lying to themselves. If I need to tell myself that I dislike lying to feel human, does that mean I really believe it?

Well, none of it matters. I’m a liar and that’s that. I never think too much of it. I couldn’t seriously say something as grand as ‘regretting my lies’ with a straight face. I lie and forget about it. There’s no point in making a big deal of it.

Everything said by anyone needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Perspective and opinion is mixed into even the most factual statements. Even private thoughts are biased. People lie to themselves all the time.

There isn’t a single creature more contradicting than humans.

Oh well.

Allen stands with me on top of the plateau I envisioned. This is the final destination for one of us.

From the look on his face, I’ve already lost.

Allen closes his eyes and slowly approaches me.

When his eyes are closed like that, what illusion could I make him see?

“Well done, Allen,” I continue sounding tired despite the fear, one final lie.

My time has come to an end. I’ve lived plenty long.

Allen stops just before reaching me, less than an arms length away. He slowly opens his eyes.

Suddenly, I make him see two branches fly out from the ground and pierce through his head, yet they must not be real, because I can’t see them. They don’t exist. I can only see what becomes reality. I suppose he didn’t believe that they existed. He must’ve figured me out.

But, it’s still strange. I thought he’d have much more variety in his attacks. With a total of seven gems, he should be able to alter reality to a much higher degree by now. I guess they’re called ‘dreams’ for a reason after all. Nobody wins in this tragedy.

I look up at the stars once more, but, for some reason, the sky is dark.

***

I punch Kyle half heartedly as he stares into the sky longingly. My fist punctures a hole right through his chest and his body goes limp. Warm, damp blood covers my whole arm, the feeling is sickening.

He’s dead. Kyle, the cold hearted and selfish villain is dead.

I lay him on top of the blood soaked grass and remove the empty glass gem from his pocket.

Finally… it’s all over. There doesn’t need to be any more death or betrayal. Because I’m god.

I sit upon the plateau and hold all eight gems glowing yellow in my palm, but…

I don’t feel any different.

A sickening laughter echoes throughout the woods. Laughter filled with disappointment, depression, and despair.

No matter how many times I wish upon these gems-

The dark night sky looks down upon me like a fool. Not a single star remains to hope on. None of my aspirations or dreams can be seen.

It looks like, for once, Kyle was wrong.

Because-

No matter how many times I wish upon these gems-

Dylan and Sarah are never coming back.

The yellow shimmer fades away and leaves behind only the hollow husk of my delusions.