Chapter 5

Matthew wakes up with his phone ringing. He forgot to turn off his alarm.

Basil meows in response. Or maybe he just wants his breakfast. Probably.

Matthew feels confused about what to do. He normally spends Saturday mornings planning his next week of work, but now his schedule is just… empty.

He has breakfast, plays with Basil, browses social media. But still, the whole day is ahead of him. A whole empty day.

Free time can be a blessing, but for someone who prefers structure, too much free time can be dysregulating.

“Maybe I can repot some plants? I’ve been meaning to do that for a while.”

He thinks about getting changed, but decides to go outside with his pajamas. Nobody cares either way. So he drives his Kia Soul all the way to Home Depot.

As soon as he goes inside, he regrets coming. The bright fluorescent lights make him a bit dizzy. He feels disoriented.

As he tries to find the garden center, a forklift loudly approaches from behind.

Matthew puts on his noise-cancelling headphones. He spins his fidget ring.

Finding the garden center takes longer than he would like, but he is finally there.

There are so many options. Small pots, big pots, giant pots. Terracotta, aluminum, plastic. Many different colors.

Matthew knows the type of pot he needs, but finding it is overwhelming.

When he finally finds what he is looking for, he realizes he forgot to grab a shopping cart.

He contemplates going back to grab one, but he doesn’t want to walk across the whole store again. He decides to just carry the pots, but they are heavier than he would like.

He balances them on top of each other, and walks towards the cashier to checkout. On his way there, he sees a display of cat grass, and grabs a little pot for Basil.

As he approaches the cashier, Matthew drops a terracotta pot, and it shatters.

“It’s OK honey, it happens all the time,” she says.

“I’m so sorry,” he says. He places the other pots on the table, and starts picking up the pieces, but ends up dropping the cat grass.

“Don’t worry, honey! I can clean it up in no time.”

“This is so embarrassing", he whispers, sweeping the plant and the soil back on the pot with his bare hands.

“Just leave it there! It happens all the time”, once again the cashier reassures him.

Matthew gets up too quickly, and smashes his head on the checkout lane.

“Take it easy, honey,” the cashier says. “You seem stressed out.”

Matthew thanks the friendly cashier, pays for the pots and heads back to the car. He is on the verge of tears. He feels embarrassed, and his head hurts a lot. As he drives back home, he constantly picks on his face, his fingernails now covered in soil and blood.

Matthew is relieved to be back in his safe space, and doesn’t plan on going out again any time soon.

He throws himself on the sofa and sobs. The tears that he accumulated for months, maybe years, finally coming out.

He cries until his eyes hurt, and the noise wakes Basil up from his nap. Basil comes to the sofa to give him some support, and falls asleep again.

“I’m so lucky to have you, buddy.”

After calming down, Matthew starts repotting his plants. Next to him, Basil eats the grass.

Matthew propagated a few clippings into water and they have been growing roots for weeks. Now he finally has time to transfer the clippings into new pots.

He fills the bottom of each pot with some gravel, and a thin layer of soil.

He then carefully places the first clipping in a pot, and fills it up with soil. After all the clippings are planted, he gently waters them.

He then mists his ferns, and opens up the windows to circulate the air.

Then he grabs his plant journal and catalogues the new pots.

Date planted, specimen, color, size.

He then walks around the apartment checking each plant, measuring them, and tracking their development.

A few plants look a little neglected. He checks his log and notices that it’s been months since he fertilized them. So he makes sure to add the proper nutrients to each pot. A different proportion for each specimen.

Taking care of the plants is almost meditative, and as the day goes by, he starts calming down.

After he is done, he takes a few pictures with his Polaroid and glues them to his journal.

Then he flips through the journal, admiring how much his little plants have grown. And how much his collection expanded with time.

“I can’t go to Maplewood,” he thinks. “How can I leave my plants behind?”

When it’s time to go to bed, Matthew is pleased. This was a day well spent.