Fated Time

There’s no reason I should feel this happy to eat shaved ice with someone. I sit down next to him. My movements feel awkward like I’m performing them for the first time. The background noise of the crowd and cicadas are overbearing. Hayahiko doesn’t know what to say either. Hota wiggles in my bag to break the tension. I unzip it and take out the calculator, still in its leather case.

“Oh, hello again Hota. A pocket calculator this time, I see? That’s rather fancy. Was it to pretend to do summer homework?”

“Yep, spot on. Wow, color me impressed. This might be the first time this has happened. Two people remembering each other through two different memory worlds. Is this what you humans call fa-“

I cut Hota off, too embarrassed to let him to complete that sentence. I throw him back into my bag, much to Hota’s dismay.

“Ah, Hayahiko! I didn’t except to see you here in Shibuya. Especially on the Obon holidays?” I give a nervous laugh.

“Yeah, that’s what everyone tells me. My family actually comes into Tokyo during Obon every year to visit my dad’s extended family.” He pokes at his ice with the spoon. “I’m here with my little sister, but she went off to play with her friends. I must say, I was really surprised when I saw your face. Feels like I’m reliving a dream from long ago.” I look down as he turns his face towards me.

“Must be weird for you, to know you’re in another dream-like world. Not to mention I’m the same age as last year.” I scoop some melted, cold sugar water into my mouth. Can’t let it go to waste.

He shrugs. “I think it’s rather cool. Is that girl that you were with the owner of this memory world? I’ve seen her around a few times here during this summer break. She looks like a fancy lady. How is it going?”

“Yeah, she’s the one. She comes from a wealthy family so she lives around here in Shibuya. The trouble is, she has two potential fiancés that her dad picked out for her. She’s pretty strange though, contrary to her looks. When I got here, she immediately proclaimed me to be her new little sister and now I live with her and accompany her on the dates.” Hayahiko finds my story really amusing.

“Time hops always lead to some interesting adventures. Come on, let’s go for a walk. I’ll tell my sister she can go home without me.” He gets up to throw away his empty cup.

“Oh, are you sure? I don’t want to cause problems for you and your mom again.”

“Oh yeah, something like that happened last time, didn’t it? It’s not a problem this time. She’s only two years younger than me so she’ll be alright. Since I’m off of school, my mom won’t get mad at me for hanging around either.”

He leaves to talk to a young girl playing with a flying disk with a group of other girls. I stare at him silently talking. I wonder what he’s saying. Did he call me a friend from school or something else? Anyway, so that’s his little sister. I didn’t even know he had one. Come to think about it, there’s so much I don’t know about him. I wonder what the rest of his family is like.

I think more through my fuzzy memories of the previous memory world. He’s always been so nice to me, even going so far as getting in trouble to spend time with me. I feel like I don’t do anything for him in return. I just take advantage of his kindness. I don’t know what I could do for him that wouldn’t be telling him about the future. That wouldn’t be right. When he comes back we leave the tables and start walking around the park. The temperature is still sweltering but I don’t mind it as much.

“So, what have you been up to this past year since I’ve seen you? Although to me, it’s only been maybe a day since I’ve seen you.” I walk with my hands behind my back, trying to look nonchalant.

“Hm. My grades have been improving a lot. It’s looks like I’ll have a good shot at getting into a good Tokyo high school after all.”

“So you decided to move to Tokyo when you graduate, in the end? Are you going to move in with your dad’s family?”

He looks down at the ground before answering. “Yeah, my family and I talked about it, and I decided it was the best plan for my future. That high school has more graduates go on to attend Tokyo University after all.”

“You don’t seem like you want to move, though. Regardless of how good the plan is.”

“It’s not that I don’t like my dad’s family. But I’ll definitely miss my family and friends back home. It’s hard to just pick up and move your life for the second time. I guess this is what they mean by ‘growing up.’” We stop walking to admire the lake. It ripples refreshingly even in the summer heat.

“You said ‘for the second time.’ Were you not from that small town I met you in?” I always imagined him to have been born there to be honest.

“It’s kind of a sad story I guess, so I don’t bring it up often. My sister and I were born here in Tokyo, but my dad passed away when I was very young due to a blood clot. My mom took us to live with her parents out there in that small town. It has just been my grandparents, my mom, my sister, and me so I felt kind of felt responsible for all of them. I feel bad that I’m going to leave them out there for so long.” He gives a pained smile.

My heart sinks at hearing his story. I really wish we didn’t have our close family dying as the only thing we have in common. I know it’s impossible, but I wish bad things didn’t have to happen to him. “I see. Is that related to why you wanted to become a doctor?”

“Yeah, I guess I thought it was important to try and prevent these kinds of things from happening. Also, it seemed like a good way to send enough money to my family. It was so much easier said than done, especially when I was younger. Now that my whole family and friends are supporting me, I feel like I can’t get scared and back out now. I even broke my contract with Hota to focus on studying more.” He sighs, his usual smile gone from his face. This is the saddest I’ve seen him.

“I think you have a wonderful goal, Hayahiko. You just want to help people. I feel like I said it before, but you should have more confidence in yourself. You’re smart enough to make your dreams come true.”

There’s a heavy pause between us before he speaks. “Lately, I’ve come to realize how useless my dream is. Even with as many doctors as we have now, people still die young. Travesty still happens to everyone even without an early death.” His voice is getting quieter. “Is there any point in my hard work?”

I suddenly turn to look him in the eye with a firm look. He looks surprised and maybe uncomfortable, but I need to convey something important to him. I know how I can help him for once.

“You’re right, travesty does happen to everyone. Even the time I’m from in the future, my parents died when I was little in a traffic accident.” My chest grows tight at bringing up this old fact but I quickly continue on. “But it’s people who are kind and smart like you who reduce the amount of travesty in the world little by little. If you think about it, the rate of children making it to adulthood used to be so much smaller in the past, right? It was from the help of doctors that made that happen.”

I keep looking directly at him, hoping my message got through. He keeps looking bewildered at me. If he doesn’t say something soon, I might cry from embarrassment at my rant. His gentle smile slowly returns to his face along with many other emotions I can’t read. A blush flushes my cheeks. Please say something!

Finally, he breaks the silence. “I’m really sorry that happened with your parents. It’s unfortunate that we both know the pain. But you’re really kind and smart, too, Runa.”

“No, you turned your misfortune into a strong goal in life. I just want to be a housewife and live a simple, easy life. I don’t try to improve myself like you.”

“But you’re here now, helping people you barely know, including me. You are just using your kindness in different ways than I am. I’m sure you will be a strong housewife, fully supporting whoever you choose in life.”

My dumb brain goes at it again. The thought of being his housewife pops into my head and makes my heart beat fast. My hands are gripping my dress in tight balls. He turns away, the atmosphere growing heavy again. The knowledge that we could never choose each other as our partner in life slowly crushing my chest.

I must have the worst luck in the world; my first crush turned out to be someone I had no chance at. In fact, it was impossible from the start. There’s no point in complaining so I try to look on the positive side. I’m glad to have found this small happiness in such an unlikely place. Instead of beating myself up for it, I should just try to have fun.

“I-I’m sorry. I’ve said some unnecessary things to you.” I hear him stutter for the first time. I wonder if he’s just as embarrassed as I am right now. I take advantage of the moment.

“Well, if you really want to apologize, the girl I was with is actually pressing me into inviting someone to a group blind date so someone my age will be there. It’s been really weighing on me for reasons I’m sure you can understand. I might even fail the mission because of it so it’s great that I found you today. If you don’t have anything important tonight, will you come with me?”

I embellished my story a little to convince him. I don’t really think I will fail without him but he doesn’t need to know. I hope he didn’t gain a girlfriend or anything recently that would make this a conflict of interests.

“A group blind date? With high schoolers? I’ve never been to one.” That part doesn’t surprise me.

“It’ll actually be with 17 to 22 year olds. Mostly university students. You’ll probably never get another opportunity like this while still in middle school.” I try to appeal to his once-in-a-lifetime opportunity loving side.

“Well, I’d be more than happy to help you out. I’ll come with you.” Mission success!

We walk back to where we got shaved ice. The air between us much lighter than earlier. We talk about the details of the group date tonight. He mentioned he’ll meet us there when the time comes. We stop in front of the same place his sister was playing when we left. He ruffles my hair and waves goodbye to me. I return the favor, granting me another look at his laughing face.

I make my way back to where Mayumi and Hiroshi were. I hope I didn’t take too long. I’m not sure how much time has even passed since then. I come across the pair sitting in the grass, casually talking. Mayumi waves energetically when she notices me. Good to see they’re at least getting along. I flash her a peace sign when she asks me how it went with the boy and me. This grants me a hug from Mayumi.

They decide to end the date here. The group date only hours away now and fast approaching. Mayumi and I need to get home to get ready and pick up Yutaka. Mayumi gives Hiroshi a lucky love charm similar to the one she gave Takashi in the spirit of things. He tells her he will take good care of it. The way back to Mayumi’s house is torture with the air hot and heavy from the late afternoon sun.

“How was your date with Hiroshi, Mayumi?”

“Hm. He isn’t really good with his words, but I think he’s nice.”

“That sounds more positive than Takashi.”

“I guess. I might just have to actually think about my decision instead of waiting for a sign from the gods, huh?” She looks depressed at the thought.

“Don’t look so down! Um, everything worthwhile in life takes effort after all!” I try to console her.

“Yeah, that’s true. Something about deciding my fate for myself, right?” She doesn’t sound happier at all. It is a big decision; I can’t blame her. She must have been quite relieved to have her dad pick out her one true fiancé in her true memories.