Chapter 4:

(Lucky) Beady-Eyed, Bubble-Brained, Belligerent Idiots

Cafe Eris


There's a lively little café on the same street as my office. I spend my breaks there since no insufferable snob from my workplace would ever think to step into a place with coffee that’s less than $7. I, unlike some people, understand the value of a good bargain.

I drop by often while my daughter is at school and my husband is…lounging around at home being a waste of oxygen.

Anyway, today was my day off from that wretched law office and I thought it’d be a good idea to do a family trip to the zoo. My daughter, Kulsum, was at the age where she wouldn’t stop talking about frogs. Nonstop. Every single day of my life. It was driving us crazy. Ahmed agreed it was time to let her see some in real life, so he booked the tickets.

Of course, that was mistake number one.

My INCOMPETENT husband didn’t read the dates properly and selected tickets for next week instead of today, so we had to make a change of plans that ended us up in downtown.

That was mistake number two.

My precious day off from work had me end up on the same street as my office.

“Hurry up,” I said to Ahmed who was walking with his hands behind his head and whistling like this was just some morning stroll. I took Kulsum’s hand, “If we don't get there soon the line will be too long.”

Kulsum was extra irritated today. After all, she was expecting to see some frogs, and instead she was getting dragged to go see fish instead. Her disappointment must have been immeasurable.

“Ma, I wanna go to the lake!” she whined.

“No, your dad already bought tickets for the aquarium, sorry.”

“Hey, maybe we should just skip and go to the lake instead,” suggested Ahmed.

“Yeah! Yeah!” Kulsum yelled excitedly in agreement.

“Absolutely not!” I snapped, “You already used my card to buy non-refundable tickets.” I shot him a look.

“Okay, but it’s off-season so they were on sale. It was a good deal, you know,” said Ahmed, lifting Kulsum onto his shoulder so she could see above the crowds of people.

I sighed, the heat was getting to me. “You said the fancy fridge with the touchscreen ice dispenser was also a good deal when you bought it,” It was, in fact, not a good deal, “It broke a month later.”

Ahmed chuckled “You’re so no-nonsense. You have to admit that the touchscreen was cool. Even Kulsum agrees.” He put her down as we passed the crowd and she gave him a high five. I sulked, thinking about how she’d probably have the same carefree - well, more like, careless - sensibility as her father once she got older.

I forged ahead, ignoring my husband's passive attitude. Trekking downtown was a dangerous game for me. I threw on some sunglasses and prayed that no one from work would recognize me and try to start meaningless small talk.

But of course that ended up happening.

We almost made it to the line for the aquarium when an irritatingly familiar man's voice said,

“Lucky! Is that you?”

Ugh. Out of all the beady-eyed, bubble-brained, belligerent idiots I could’ve run into, it had to be Thomas Lemoteur-duréservoir, an absolute killer tank engine of a lawyer as said by absolutely no-

My thoughts were interrupted by another familiar shrill woman’s voice. “Oh my, it is Lucky.”

Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse. Cynthia Bolod, only second to Thomas in the category of corruption and scamming their clients.

I whipped around, took off my sunglasses and plastered on a smile. “Hi! What a surprise!” I laughed between my teeth “What are y-”

Cynthia chimed in before I could finish speaking, as she always does. “Aw, you’re here with your husband, how cute! Me and Thomas are also on a little day out!” They both laughed giddily.

Ugh, I despise couples.

Ahmed had already become buddy-buddy with Thomas, shaking his hand and speaking about whatever the bubble-brained breed of people speak about. Even if he was an airhead, at least Ahmed was somewhat likeable as a person. Thomas, on the other hand, was not.

Cynthia’s gaze was fixated on me so I knew she was about to say something stupid that would enrage me. Naturally, I was right.

She twisted her face into a sympathetic pout, “You work so hard. It must be difficult finding time for yourself. I can’t imagine maintaining a career while being a working mother and all. You can ask me to handle your clients anytime if it’s too much for you.”

I sneered at her pathetic attempt to steal my clients, and the ridiculous suggestion that I wasn’t fit for my job.

She continued speaking about something or another as I nodded along hoping to find a gap in the conversation to leave.

“It’s a shame you didn’t bring your daughter, I really wanted to meet her.”

It took me a second to register what she had just said. I looked around frantically, then at Ahmed. No one was watching Kulsum the past few minutes.

The panic set in.

I couldn't make a scene in front of Thomas Lemoteur-duréservoir and Cynthia Bolod or else the entire office would hear about it the next day.

I smiled, “Yes, it’s a shame. She’s unfortunately at daycare right now. Speaking of which, we should hurry to pick her up. It was nice seeing you both. Take care now.” I grabbed Ahmed’s arm and walked away hurriedly.

While being dragged away from his new best friend, Ahmed had the audacity to say, “Relax, don’t worry! She couldn’t have gone far.”

“Don’t worry? If you weren’t being careless I wouldn’t have to worry!” I shouted back.

He put his hand on my shoulder “It’s okay, we can start by-”

“Stop talking. If you weren’t being all chummy with MY coworkers, she wouldn’t have wandered off!” I retorted.

We pushed through the hoards of people hoping to get a glance of where she had gone.

“Let’s check the stores on this street, maybe she wandered into one of them?” he suggested.

“We should split up.” I replied.

He paused. I was obviously angry and perhaps suggesting a little more than just a difference in search strategy.

I kept walking. “You can’t be friends with everyone that you meet,” I told him, “That’s not how the world works.”

He laughed like I had said something funny, “Well you should at least try. Maybe that attitude’s the reason no one gets along with you at work.”

Ouch.

I scoffed “Ha. That’s funny. You have no idea what I go through everyday so that you can sit on your lazy butt at home.”

“Hey hey, I fixed the fancy touchscreen fridge last week.” His carefree attitude was charming to other people, but it was insanely frustrating in situations like this. All my stress from the last week bubbled to the surface.

“Please for once in your life, take things seriously. Our daughter is missing because YOU weren’t looking after her. If you can't do the bare minimum, then what’s the point. I keep you around because Kulsum wants you here!” I blurted out. “Also, you were the one who broke that stupid fridge in the first place!”

His usual smile disappeared. I regretted the words, but they were still more or less true. Especially the part about the fridge.

We weaved in and out of stores silently in search of Kulsum, but she was nowhere to be found. We kept walking. There was no wind today, but I suddenly heard a familiar windchime. I looked up, the wooden sign above read Café Eris, my usual break spot. Maybe the owner could help me out.

Ahmed saw I had stopped. “Tea break?”

I glared. Of course he was thinking about tea instead of finding our child who was lost in the middle of a busy city.

He held the door open, smiling again, but this time apologetically.

I ignored him, brushing past him into the café. Not for a tea break, of course, but to find someone who would actually be of some help.

I scanned the interior of the café looking for Scanta. To my surprise, I found him standing in the corner with all the ceramic frog knick-knacks talking enthusiastically to a child beside him.

“Kulsum!” I exclaimed.

Scanta looked up from his conversation and flashed a wide grin, “Ahahaha, there she is. Lucky, I knew this one was your daughter!”

I rushed towards them. Ahmed followed behind me nonchalantly, preoccupied by the extensive drinks menu. Kulsum looked in my direction and beamed. She zoomed right past me and into Ahmed’s arms, I sighed. As expected. Nonetheless, I felt my shoulders relax.

“Ahmed. Get me a spiced milk tea, extra sugar and ginger.”

“Right away ma'am,” he said, saluting.

“Don’t mock me,” I responded.

“Tsk tsk, then don't be so uptight.”

“I’m not. I actually act like an adult, unlike some people.” I slumped into one of the chairs mumbling, “...I’m just tired.”

“Yes, yes, you’re always tired. I know,” he responded absentmindedly while waiting for the orders.

Scanta had probably given Kulsum a piece of cake or something because she was running around the entire café like she was on a sugar rush. No one seemed too bothered by it though, except for the unfamiliar new  boy at the counter who winced every time she’d mention frogs.

Kulsum went up to random tables telling people facts about the animal. One of her targets was a young man wearing pajamas who I see often around here. He smiled and typed what she had said, then thanked her for the interesting info. This café was quite kid friendly. It made sense since the owner was like an overgrown child himself. I’d seen Kulsum’s friend from school, Mark Kim, drop by sometimes too.

Ahmed walked towards me balancing the drinks and all the other nonsense he had bought, unbothered as ever by everything around him.

Scanta noticed where we were sitting and came over with a plate of cookies. “Compliments from the owner, since you never order anything else,” he said, putting down the plate of obviously store-bought tea biscuits.

He took a crumpled flyer out of his notorious “KISS THE CHEF” apron and placed it on the table. “So, not sure if you’ve heard from our marketing team-” Café Eris did in fact, not have a marketing team, “-we’re having this little music event later this week. The one and only DJ McDizzle is headlining,” he said, spreading out his hands in front of him, “You should bring your family, it’s very appropriate for young kids.”

I raised my eyebrows, “I’m not taking my husband and 8 year old daughter to a rave event.”

He slapped his knee, “Ah! You saw right through me! Oh well, it was worth a try. Tell your friends at the office about it though. We appreciate you!” He chuckled as he walked back to his office.

Ahmed stayed quiet as he tried fishing out the biscuit he’d lost in his tea, but staying quiet wasn’t really his forté. “Hey… you know it could be fun if you and me went to th-”

“No.”

“...”

He went back to fishing.

I looked around at the other customers going about their day as usual. I took in how comforting it was to not be stared at in public for constant bickering and a screaming, frog obsessed child.

“Let’s skip the aquarium today,” I said, sipping my tea.

Ahmed’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really?”

I looked out the window, “Yea, let’s spend some time here then go to the lake. We should come here more often.” 

I paused. “Not for DJ McDizzle though.”