Chapter 6:

The Princess is a cunning plotter!

The Misadventures of A Self-Aware Princess


So there I was, feeding the man who kidnapped me. The bastard was enjoying it too, if you could call skewered blue jay and hog piss tasting beer a proper meal. With a belch Heckler looked at me satisfied, then he finally addressed the elephant in the room.

“So Princess Ophelia-”

“*Sigh* Just call me Opal.”

“Oh, so you finally understand!”

“Yeah, I’m done using my stage name. That’s why you’re going to tell me everything you know about him.”

Heckler’s amused expression faltered for a moment, then it dawned on him what I was planning.

“You’re going after him, you dirty little shrew.”

“Don’t give me that crap, I’m gonna live my life my way. That means I’m taking his story off the rails.”

“Heh, I knew I felt something special about you. Allow me to tell you how this all transpired.”

Heckler spoke to me about how you got ownership of the mirror, it all started when he went to visit a fellow Master of Despair, Calypso. She was busy working on something until Heckler barged in and started making a mess. Of course this annoyed her, leading her to make a decision. She decided to use him as a guinea pig and gave him the mirror, even telling him how to use it. Heckler heard the words danger and don’t activate under any circumstances, and ended up using it anyway. The result was him entering the slump he did before, and him running back over to ask what the hell just happened. She was waiting there, with a notebook in hand and a smile on her face.

“Then the bitch asked how I was feeling and if I felt lighter than usual. I still have no clue why.”

“*Sigh* Because that doom mirror causes some people to have their existence erased.”

“...You have my condolences.”

“Bulls***!”

“If I knew you could die I wouldn’t have used the damn thing!”

I found myself pinching the bridge of my nose, I could feel the headache coming. I looked back at Heckler to see him giving me puppy dog eyes. I rolled my eyes and got to the point.

“What happens if you use the mirror multiple times?”

“Nothin’ much, you just drop in and chat with Joe for a while.”

“You used it multi- Actually scratch that, you call him Joe!”

“Yes, JWJournals, Joe! Cool nickname, right?”

Never have I wanted to slug someone so hard in my life, but I need to keep pushing.

“The mirror, what happened to it? Where is it right now?”

“Broken due to your boyfriend, and currently being examined by the tower.”

“...S***.”

Well that throws a wrench in my plans, I was gonna use the mirror to warp between worlds and gather information about the world without him looking. So using story events to my advantage isn’t gonna work, I’ll have to play along and worm my way through. As I thought that, Heckler began rattling his chains.

“What is it now?”

“You should go see her, Calypso I mean. It could be helpful to meet the creator behind the mirror.”

I didn’t think such a useful idea would come out of Heckler, although it also comes with some severity. It would be nice to meet Calypso and find out what she knows, but my safety would be put at risk. Afterall, Calypso is a Master of Despair, and to top it off she’s located in a different territory. Here on the Geochrys continent, there’s four main kingdoms which signed a beneficial treaty. Calypso dwells near the Sapphira Kingdom, which holds the greatest hostility towards Alexandria. Going over there without a plan would be suicide, I better think of something.

“Tell me Heckler, how would you prepare to enter such dangerous territory?”

“Heh, you’ve been asking a lot of questions today. Lucky for you, I’ve been lonely lately.”

****

It's been ten days since I’ve spoken with Heckler, today I find myself standing on this podium dressed in a black sleeved dress. After recovering it seemed like the perfect time to give a funeral rite for Zeke’s fallen comrades. I didn’t want to stand up here, but his friends kinda died because of me. That and this doubles as my debut back into the public, so I got to try and look good. I looked at the front row to see my parents, my father wiping his eyes and my mother locking eyes with me. Her gaze practically shouted, “Don’t f*** this up!” Not to worry, mother dearest, your daughter is gonna put on a show today. I notice Bertha in the back giving me a cheerful wave, I’ll deal with you later. I breathed in, remembered my lines, and acted off my old behavior.

“We’re gathered here today to honor the brave men and women who gave their lives to save me. If not for them, I wouldn’t be standing here in front of you unharmed. Even though their loss leaves a hole in my heart, I pledge not to let their loss shake me. They gave their lives for me to prosper, I wouldn’t be able to face them if I faltered now.”

Saying that was met with some shock, I was weak and timid before, they probably expected me to burst into tears. However, things have changed, I swore never to be anyone’s puppet again.

“From now on, for Alexandria and for its people, I pledge to be strong like those brave heroes. My people, I cannot do this alone, please stand with me. May we all be strong together!”

With that I raised my right fist as a sign of strength, that seemed to rile up the people in the audience. Soon the crowd began to chant our kingdom’s name proudly and raised their right fists with me. After reveling in that I began to close out with a moment of silence, and presented a marble monument. Engraved were the names of everyone who was lost in the Trap Tower siege. Speaking of which, it was decided that the tower would be rebuilt and turned into a training tower. There they will further train our knights to reach new heights. All that was left was tying up loose ends.

“Thank you princess, I appreciate this.”

“It was the least I could do.”

In front of me stood a sniffling Zeke Alvis Bronzong, it was annoying seeing the usually energetic Zeke look like a crybaby. We were standing in the castle garden away from spectators, however we did have some viewers. I glanced back to see my father, mother, and Bertha watching me. My father was biting his wrist like a rabid dog, my mother looked like she was praying, and Bertha once again looked like my personal cheerleader. They probably thought this was a love confession, well this is gonna suck for them.

“Zeke, I know you’re in pain right now. That’s why I need to tell you this.”

“Yes princess?”

“I want you to leave the kingdom and regain your strength.”

I immediately heard shattered glass, that was mother for sure. Zeke looked like his heart was about to break again, so I decided to tell him the story I concocted.

“Zeke, the recent battle should’ve shown you how weak you currently are, you’re too reliant on your skills. That almost cost you your life here.”

“Princess? Are you throwing me away because I’m weak?”

“Of Course Not You Idiot!”

Zeke’s face looked shocked, time to pull out my soap opera skills. I pretended to sniffle and dabbed my eyes with a little saliva, then I began lying through my teeth.

“Zeke, I almost lost you in that tower, I never want to feel like that again!”

“Princess Ophelia…”

“Remember your comrades Zeke, would they be proud of the way you look right now? Is this why your brother died for you?”

Hearing that triggered something in Zeke, he began to tremble as he looked at his hands. His palms were weak and slightly scarred from the wounds he received, but soon their old strength returned and they turned into fists.

“You’re right, I’ve been in a slump ever since everyone died. However, your words have brought me back Princess! I swear, I’ll never show you this sight of me ever again!”

“Excellent, so you know what you must do. Leave the Kingdom of Alexandria and train yourself to become strong enough to face an army alone.”

“Understood, I’ll become ten-No, a hundred times stronger than I am right now!”

I gave him a slight smile with my false tears in, then I pulled out a handkerchief I bought recently and wiped my eyes. I then made it seem like I kissed it, before placing it in Zeke’s hands.

“Take a part of me with you for your journey, I’ll be waiting for you when you return.”

“Y-Yes, Princes-”

“Ophelia, for you and you alone. You may call me Ophelia.”

Zeke began wildly nodding as I sweet talked him, then he left the garden jumping for joy. When I turned around my mother gave me a thumbs up and my father pounded his head into the wall. Bertha was writing down notes frantically, most likely for gossip later. Oh well, now that that’s out of the way, time to prepare for my big trip.

rhedak
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