The Curious Case of Clemsey
The night is warm. I lay my back on the damp grass and bathe under the excessively luminous moon. The ringing of the cicadas and other tiny creatures envelope the evening along with the rustling of the leaves.
There is a word for that… I pondered, the whispering sound of the trees when the wind passes through. What was that again?
However, that isn’t the right question I should be asking at the moment. The lingering confusion that occupies my mind, is so much more blaring than words hanging at the tip of my tongue or all other infinitesimal beings surrounding me.
A soul can reason and function in accordance to its will—I remember that line from Van’s most beloved book. Apparently in this reality, they hold a belief relatively comparable to that notion. The Will of the Soul— in this world, is some sort of a dying wish or one’s most fervent dream. For instance, if you were made aware that in a span of a minute, you will breathe your last breath, what will be your heart’s ardent prayer? Given the hypothetical situation, maybe I can assume that there would be those who would accept fate as it was presented or for some, the answer would be “I want to go on living” or something along that line. But, here’s what I’ve learned from my several weeks of being in this world—the real code that would unlock the door, is one’s truest answer to the question “why?” Arriving at that certain understanding, amounts to finding our very core and driving force. In any case, isn’t it in the face of imminent death or a dire loss, that it dawns on one what it truly means to actually live?
Oh, what a feat. Our souls defied the incomprehensible law of time and space to outlive our body’s death so as to aid a dying wish. If I am to give this phenomenon even a fraction of a sense, then I would point it to that.
“Oh, this is unusual.”
A silhouette towered over me, appearing taller, skinnier and otherworldly in my eyes. In my mind, she is still stunning and regal.
“Hi Mom,” I said to her shadow. I can’t see her face, but I can sense her smile.
“It’s unusual to see you outside dear. You’re finally gaining your strength back,” she said, as she lays on the grass beside me.
Mom, unusual as it is, what’s even more bizarre is this—I am a 5 year old Clemsey with a comprehension of an adult. Laying my back flat in a front yard—nestled in a town called Daucus, in a Kingdom called Alcione. I wanted to see you and father, Enith, Aunt Gigi, Van and everything that belongs to this reality and to my life prior to being here. But I can’t, due to my visual condition. I can’t, because the only choice left for me now is to move forward and to hold on to this chance despite the circumstance…
“Thank you for fighting your way back to us,” she muttered while caressing my head.
“D-does my eyes still have a fighting chance?” I asked Mom, fully aware of how strange my choice of words are.
“Dear—” her shadowy figure moved closer to me while fondling the curls of my hair. “We will always fight any battle with you.”
This reality is too warm, I want to embrace it tightly, I thought.
As my knowledge of medicine is limited only to text books, I have no real way of stating an accurate diagnosis. My eyes aren’t completely blind. It might be a severe case astigmatism and extreme myopia. I really don’t know... In my vision, swaying trees appear like a mocking mob of ghost. People are distorted shadows and shadows are merely patches of darkness. I had a sore bruise on my right knee from missing a flight of stair. A table’s edge or a door swing or a huge jar of medicinal concoction would appear out of nowhere and knock me, shooting a great deal of pain down to my nerves. Wall patterns and textures turned into reliable friends while sudden floor drops are my worst enemies. My whole perception of things became a series of traps and labyrinths.
Nevertheless, having once lived a life with a vision, the wires of my brain connect naturally in this world. Looking back at my previous life, even to the most trivial of details in it, became a way for me to be able to discern things that exist in this reality. Before my soul inhibits this body, I really do wonder how this young version of “me” imagines her horizon to be or things such as books and flowers and laboratory apparatus. I am curious, as to how she would’ve pictured Dad’s face, as he approached us from behind in high spirits.
“I have spoken with Gionne, we are positive, with the way things are going—“ he paused. I gazed towards his form, rendered with a positive light. “—Soon we can set sail to the sea again. Maybe after your birthday, Clemsey.” I also sensed a smile radiating from him.
Dear young Clemsey, always remember that Dad has the softest smile in the world.
“The sea… I really, really love the sea,” I said, with Port Ami’s harbour painted in my mind.
“Oh dear, of course you do. Your uncle Gionne is already overseeing the upcoming voyage. He knows just how much you love to get back to the ship,” Dad excitedly replied.
Hajione- the name of the merchant ship they were referring to, is also the name of my family’s pharmaceutical business. The Hajione Group, consists of Jiro and Hana Akisa who are respected pharmacists, and Uncle Gionne, my mother’s older brother, is the one in charge on the business side of things. They are a group of traveling medicine merchants with clients and associates in various countries of this world. My Mother, from what I learned, also dabbles into the study of chemistry in order to expand her knowledge, all while my father focuses entirely in his field—concocting medicine, healing oils and even culinary spices from medicinal herbs. From time to time, I would hear my father’s pen in swift motion as he prepares his lesson plan for the kids he teaches in several villages. Uncle Gionne, I was surprised to learn, once served as the youngest chief leader in the region of Daucus, our thriving hometown in the Kingdom of Alcione. He gave up his esteemed position for the life of constant travel in the sea and in land, overseeing acres of organic herbal garden, designing greenhouses and building up our business’ client profile. One time, I overheard, that King Auren De Lucine of Alcione is hardly pursuing Uncle Gionne to take a major position in the Royal Court.
Gionne Adleigh, however, is an existence in this life which I can’t seem to open up my heart to. I have this bitter feeling, that him, being here, completely erases the possibility of Aunt Gigi. Who is he? How does he looks like? Why did he introduced himself to a visitor once as Gionne Akisa? My parents don’t even seem to mind it as well. He seem to have a hatred with the name he bears. His presence is a complete curiosity to me. He is an overwhelming force yet, a faceless being in my mind.
“I am looking forward to our journey,” I said, with my eyes looking forward on the foreign horizon in front of me.
With that, I called it a night and allowed my thoughts to gently calm down. However, as I was about to doze off, a sudden thought woke my senses up.
Psithurism, I recalled, was the term I was trying to remember before- the sound of the wind blowing through the trees. I can’t help but feel like the rustling of the leaves outside are whispering matters to my ears- goodbyes and greetings, old memories and newly formed ones, growing amount of questions and renewed enthusiasm.
Yes, that’s what it is. But still, there are more things I needed to understand and unlock moving forward.