The Goblin Cave Massacre

It was just another average day in the cave, apparently we got a new human a couple days ago. I should stop by and give her the get well card we all signed. Still, what kinda person gives themself a concussion and then tries to drown themself?

…Is this girl gonna be alright? Just as I thought that, the assist bell began ringing out. That meant assistance was needed in the infirmary, I guess I’ll go since I’m the only guy here. Actually the hallways were crowded a little while ago, where did everybody go? I walked down to the infirmary, as I did I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. I don’t know why, but for some reason, some part of me was screaming not to go. Eventually I made it to the infirmary, when I opened the door I saw Todd there standing nervously.

“Oh, so it was you Todd, what’s up?”

“Hey Frank, could you help me with something? See I couldn’t reach the medicine on the top shelf over there, so I wanted to ask for a hand.”

“Oh, sure thing.”

I entered the room, as I did I smelt something foul in the air. I thought nothing of it at first, but as I got closer to the cabinet the smell got stronger. I heard a sound come from behind me, only to see Todd sweating bullets.

“You okay man? You look like you’re gonna be sick.”

“Oh no, please don’t mind me.”

Todd looked away as he said that, like a child trying to hide something. That’s when I noticed it.

“Todd, your head is bruised, and what happened to your neck?”

“Oh, please don’t mind me. I was clumsy and dropped a crate on myself.”

Todd smiled awkwardly as he told me that, at this point I’m starting to distrust him. Something is going on here, and just what is that smell? Wait, that smell, I’ve smelled this before.

“Todd, we don’t have any mice right?”

“Not from what I remember, why?”

“Because it smells like a dead rat in here, a couple of them actually.”

That’s the smell of decomposition, what’s going on here. I traced the smell, it grew stronger the closer I got to the medicine cabinet. Eventually I was standing in front of it, the smell was so powerful I almost shut my eyes. Did Doc stock up on some powerful herbs or something? I decided to investigate further, what could possibly-

“No, don’t open that, she’ll get the drop on you!”

Huh? I couldn’t fully comprehend what Todd said, all I managed to do was turn back to look at him as I opened the cabinet. Suddenly, the contents of the cabinet fell on top of me. The smell was so strong I wanted to vomit, I tried to pull myself up to get away but I couldn’t move. There was something on top of me, it was too heavy for me to move off myself. I tried to force it off, but I couldn’t. After opening my eyes, I was terrified to realize what the weight was. Our friends, they were lying on top of me and they were all dead. There’s about twenty of us in this cave, and this number must account for half of that. They all seemed to be killed by a blow to the head, who could’ve done such a thing? That’s when I remembered the only person in here was Todd, I turned to get a good look at that traitor. All I saw was a set of legs, they looked gentle and nimble. They had to have belonged to a woman, as I thought that I turned my gaze upward. That upward glance was met with the appearance of a sledgehammer.

****

“Phew! Wow, that was a pretty intense workout. So there should be at least nine more goblins lurking in the cave.”

As I tallied off my kills, I heard whimpering come from behind me. It was Todd, watching friend number eleven get murdered must’ve been too much for him. He looks like he's gonna puke, I better make myself scarce…Wait, there’s something I should settle first.

“Oh Todd!”

“Eek, please leave me alone. I’ll be good I promise.”

“About that…”

I moved closer to him with my knife drawn, he started tumbling back as I waltzed up to him.

“Please, I don’t want any trouble.”

“You should’ve thought about that before giving my position away.”

He snitched to his friend about my sneak attack, one false move would’ve cost me my life. I immediately grabbed both his hands and pinned them to the wall with my knife. Todd began screaming in pain, you better get used to it bud. You’re on a two minute time out.

“So what did we learn from this?”

“*Sniff* Please don’t-”

“What. Did. We. Learn.”

“*Sniff sob* Never cross Lady Opera.”

“And don’t you ever forget that.”

Which reminds me, what the hell is going on? Killing monsters was supposed to give me experience, but for some reason my experience gauge hasn’t risen. Then again these are goblins, besides slimes, their the weakest and most worthless monsters to come across. So it makes sense that they’d offer no boons to me, but it’s still a waste if I don’t manage to get a level up outta this. As I thought that, a goblin came running down the corridor. His face froze when he looked into the room. S*** I forgot to clean up the bodies, not to mention the blood on my gown. To make matters worse, he saw Todd hanging on the wall.

“You She-devil! How dare you hurt my-”

It didn’t take much effort to put him down, just needed one well placed knife to the noggin. While I went to retrieve my spare knife I looked at Todd who was still in excruciating pain.

“So Todd, can I trust you to do your job?”

“Yes, I swear on the honorable goblin code. Just please pull this damned knife outta me.”

I pulled the knife from his hands, and Todd hit the floor knees first. He held in his scream, his face was one of intense agony. He was probably trying to figure out which part of his body he should mourn. The next moment told me exactly how he felt, Todd glared at me. His eyes were filled with pure hatred towards me. I dangled my still bloody knife in front of him, that’s all it took for the little bastard to know his place. I tossed him some worn bandages for his hands and told him to hurry up. Momma has goblins to kill, and fresh exp to grab.