Night Without The Boys - Solo Trip

Sounds of my car bumping along craggy dirt roads accompanied the roadtrip playlist I had made the night before Crescent Falls. It’s crazy to imagine that our first day trip was two months ago now.

At Prius’s insistence, I’d embarked on my first ever solo-trip in my parents’ SUV over the weekend. The booking and planning skills from our graduation escapade paid off, as I was able to prepare for the trip with ease.

Much of the gear bouncing around the trunk belonged to Ravi. Since I wasn’t sure if solo-camping would be a recurring event, I avoided buying as much of my own gear as possible. Those things were expensive. Coco had offered to pay, but I told her to keep the money if she was considering med school.

She said she’d save it for another trip instead.

Rolling up to the national park’s entrance window, my wallet took another hit as I paid for my day pass and fire permit. Regret filled my mind as I thought back to our trip in Japan—I had recently learned that camping admissions were much cheaper there.

Hopefully, the future is kind enough to let us go again. Having watched a camping anime recently, I was much more interested in mount Fuji than I was in the overpriced sites around my own city.

Now you might wonder: who was this lone boy, driving through the lush forest of a national park towards his very own campsite?

Well no need to ask—it was me. Via.

Driving past multiple camping cars and large pickup trucks, I felt out of place with my dinky SUV.

“Site three... four... ah, found it.”

I pulled up into my allotted parking space in site five, all while muttering to myself. Before shutting down the car engine, I glanced at the dashboard’s digital clock. It was two in the afternoon.

The moment I opened my car doors, I was greeted with a familiar earthy scent. Water, trees, and dirt blessed my nose with their relaxing smell. Apparently there was a lake nearby.

Unfortunately, my other senses weren’t as blessed. My ears picked up the noisy sounds of camping families, and my eyes didn’t see very amazing scenery either.

Strolling around the grass, I examined the campsite. A picnic table and a rusty firepit were situated on the side. While the back of the site was walled off by a beautiful forest, every other direction I faced was the scenery of neighbouring campers or the dirt road. The actual room I had to place my tent was rather small, comparable to the size of my own room.

So much for enjoying the vast and free outdoors.

Opening the trunk, I stared at the supplies I had.

“Where do I start?” I asked aloud. “The tent?”

I decided to simply toss my gear on the picnic bench: the tent bag, the tote bin, the firewood, and my backpack.

Ravi had given me clear instructions on how to set up the shelter. His words played in my head as I started with a thin sheet of fabric.

“This is the groundsheet, also known as a tent footprint. The tent footprint is great for keeping the bottom of the tent clean,” he had said. “It also protects the bottom and protects it from moisture.”

Pat pat.

“All done,” I mumbled. “That wasn’t so hard...”

As I looked at the tent footprint I’d laid down, I remembered Ravi’s warning.

“Make sure it’s on flat ground! My first time camping, I set up my tent on an incline. I couldn’t sleep at all because my sleeping bag kept slipping down in the middle of the night.

I adjusted the groundsheet.

“Next up is the tent,” Ravi echoed in my mind. “My solo-camping tent is rather simple to set up. It’s a clip-style tent, which means you set up the metal frame according to the manual and just clip the rest of the tent up. For most other tents, you need to stick the poles through the fabric, and it’s hard to set up alone if you’re not used to it.”

Making the frame stand was harder than he had described, but the pictures on the manual sure made it easier. Was the other kind of tent even harder to set up? Maybe I was just inexperienced.

“The last part is the rain fly. The weather in our province is unpredictable, so I recommend always keeping this on. If you need to stargaze, just sit outside in a sweater. It’s not that cold in the summer.”

I draped the large tarp over the metal frame.

“...Finished.”

Peeking my head through flaps, I peered into the army green triangular tent. Unlike our previous group camping tent, this one had no zippers for windows. The only opening for natural light was the entrance. I tossed in my LED lantern from the nearby tote bin.

Admiring my first ever tent setup, I commemorated the occasion by sending a picture to Ravi.

Next up was the sleeping equipment.

“If you’re going front-country camping, take the purple mat you used last time. This mat is a little bulky, but it’s self-inflatable. Just set your sleeping bag over it and wait for ten minutes before tightening the opening.”

Heeding his words, I rolled the purple mat down and screwed open the small black cap.

Hissss.

Right after I set up the rest of my sleeping equipment according to Ravi’s instructions, I could hear the rain pitter-pattering lightly outside.

Begrudgingly moving my tote bin and firewood back into the trunk, I threw my backpack into the tent and hopped straight into my sleeping bag.

“Time for a nap,” I yawned to myself.

o

It was four-thirty by the time I woke up. I had slept for two hours through the rain. Checking my phone, I saw that Ravi replied.

Ravi: nice tent.

Ravi: hey its raining now, you ok?

Via: Yeah, I took a nap

Via: Gonna start cutting wood now

After laying out my tools again, I started chopping the firewood. I remembered when Prius was cutting wood back then. Wow, that was over a month ago.

“Now bring it down!” Ravi said.

Crack.

My pre-cut log split evenly in two. I chuckled upon recalling the exchange between Prius and Ravi, after Prius had cut the wood.

“Great, now do that two more times.”

“With the same piece?!”

“Yes. We can’t start the fire with these huge hunks of wood.”

Crack.

The process was oddly therapeutic. Some logs were harder to split than other, but overall, most of them made the satisfying crack that I wanted to hear.

Of course, I didn’t even need to cut them as small as Prius did. Ravi had given me a little cheating item for this trip: fire starters.

When I watched the camping anime, these fire starters looked like sticks of chocolate. In reality, they were more like straw wafer bars.

Chhk.

I struck a match and set it over a strip of fire starters. This was a much easier endeavour for my limited lung capacity. If my survival depended on my ability to blow on sparks, I’d rather just die.

Laying logs over the newly birthed flame, I was too mesmerized by the growing fire to pay attention to my task.

Food.

Tonight’s menu was going to be a poor man’s hotpot, with pre-prepared assorted mushrooms, sliced beef, and instant noodles. No fancy sauces or fighting over meats with family and friends. Pretty much just a soup.

Thankfully, I came ready with a large jug of water and a old steel cooking pot in my tote bin.

As the water came to a boil, I dumped the mushrooms in first. They cook the slowest. Minutes later, with my stomach growling and my patience thinning, I dumped in the meat and instant noodles too.

The smell of MSG enriched seasoning filled the air, which only worsened my hunger.

When the spirit of my ancestors told me that the food was ready, I grabbed my chopsticks and began to dig in.

...

“Ack!” I coughed. “...The mushrooms are raw...”

On the night of his breakup, Prius had mentioned that things taste different when you travel alone. I guess this is what he meant.

Fsssssh.

A carbonated drink fizzled in my hands in harmony with the crackling firewood. Nothing beats cracking open a cold one with the boys...

Except it wasn’t cold. And I wasn’t with the boys.

Although the air was fresh and the wind was pleasing, I felt some level of emptiness. It was then that I fully understood how I wasn’t exactly in the best mentality to enjoy a solo trip.

I was feeling some kind of friendship withdrawal symptom, after being stuck to the boys for so long. Maybe this was for my own good. After all, we’ll be splitting up again once university starts...

My eyes were drawn to the darkening sky. Although it was only seven, I could already see the moon rising along the horizon. Was it even worth watching the sunset alone?

“Maybe I’ll do the dishes and sleep early...” I mumbled.

o

Wordless.

That’s how I would best describe the first day of my solo trip. It was completely and utterly wordless, and I had relied so much on the words of others to lift me up. To let me know that I wasn’t alone.

As someone who usually embraces silence, I had even started muttering and talking to myself, replaying conversations with the boys through my head. It’s like after going on all those adventures with my best friends, I felt uneasy doing one without them. Like I was leaving them out.

Wrapped in my warm sleeping bag, the only thing revealed to the chilly morning air was my face. I checked my smartphone for the time.

It was six in the morning. Why was it so dark outside? I searched up the time of the sunrise.

“...In fifteen minutes?”

Having woken up already, I decided that not seeing the sunrise would’ve been a waste of this trip. After all, I’d opted to skip the sunset in favour of sleep last night.

I emerged from my tent.

Dense, cold air rushed into my nostrils like spikes of ice. It was midway through August, yet the cloudless sky exuded the impression that today was one of those dreary February days. A blanket of lapis brewed light rested upon rigid ground and its thinly dewed grass. I had the urge to hack at the dirt with my hatchet, just to see if the earth would split itself in two. This was the coldest I’ve felt this summer.

Turning around, I could see that one side of the sky was a lighter blue than the rest. It seemed like the sun was rising from beyond the trees. Birds began whistling their morning melody, as I commenced my brief trek through moist branches and damp leaves.

The more I walked, the more the trees began to glitter. Droplets refracted blinding spectrums of light into my barely awakened eyes. A faint scent of hard-boiled eggs wafted by right before my line of sight broke through the treeline.

...

How did I feel?

...

Wordless.

...

Ah, I found a word:

Kaleidoscope.

Our solar system’s lonely star shone through the dawning atmosphere.

A rippling lake reflected the prismatic morning heavens.

Aquamarine gems twinkled within the enchanting greenery.

The air wasn’t cold anymore. Gilded rays bounced off my warming face, as euphoria heated my bones. Standing in this world of water and light, I felt like there was much more than one sun in the skies, despite one sun being all that I could possibly see.

I wondered: if the sun could look back at me, would I appear in a kaleidoscope like this one? Would I reflect off the lake and the dew, and shine through the atmosphere like the sun did?

What a cheesy train of thought. However, I couldn’t help but feel that was the case—I was shining.

It wasn’t long before the gleaming yolk hatched into a pastel blue daybreak, and the event was over. Even though there were a few hours left, my solo trip had already concluded as a success.

In high school, I always hated my alone time. It reminded of days when I had brothers who would never leave me alone. I also hated my friends, who talked behind each other’s backs. It reminded of when I had friends who roasted me to my face, and made me laugh about it. No matter what I did or who I hung out with, I hated everything because life was so much better with the boys.

But this was the first time I enjoyed being without the boys. I realized that there really was pleasure to be found in solitude. This made me think: would I have found something to enjoy with my high school friends, if I gave them another chance?

Hmm...

I sent a picture of the lake to Ken.

Ken: lol u out camping?

Via: Yea

Via: You wanna go on a trip sometime? Just us two

Ken is typing...

Taking a deep breath, I tried to dispel my anxiousness. It’s been years since I invited someone to hang out—not including Prius and them.

The next message came before I had fully let out my breath.

Ken: Sure thing! I’ve always wanted to camp by Crescent Falls.

“...Let’s go~,” I whispered with a smile.