71. Harding vs Tyler I: Try Not to Die

“…[The Harmonizer]…” Thompson repeated, “…Wanda Harding…”

Arthur nodded.

“If anyone in this city knows something about Tim Pendergast, it’s her. But you best be quick.” Arthur looked to his diamond encrusted watch. “Her match is starting soon. And given who she’s up against…”

He gave a sinister smile.

“…well, let’s just say Wanda Harding might not be talking to nobody after today.”

Thompson clicked her tongue, then bolted out the room with Gonzo trailing behind. Arthur gave a belly laugh from his chair as they left, his eyes lingering on the crumpled bracket that Thompson dropped in her haste.

“Oh Harding,” he mused, reading the name of her opponent, “I’d bet my bottom dollar you’re quivering in your boots right abouts now…”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Do da doo!” Wanda Harding hummed an upbeat showtune to herself as she merrily made her way through the coliseum halls.

“Well, well,” a voice called to her from the side, “someone’s in a chipper mood.”

Harding glanced around, breaking into a wide grin as she spotted a woman dressed in a brown and blue kimono leaning against the wall besides her.

“Tie me up and flog me across the seven seas!” Harding exclaimed, walking over and giving the woman a big hug, “If it isn’t my good pal Midori Fillmore as I live and breathe! How are you, friend?”

“Awful,” Fillmore replied, rolling out her eyes. “I was planning to catch up on my reading while the rest of you Presidents were busy beating each other to a pulp.” She shook her head. “But I couldn’t stay back after hearing Davis was impersonating me in my absence.”

“Well, old sport,” Harding gave a playful slap to Fillmore’s back, “I for one am overjoyed to see you here, even if you only did come to clear your name.”

“That is the main reason I came…” her voice lingered, “…but it’s not the only one.”

Fillmore stared Harding in the eyes.

“Just give me the word, Harding, and I’ll tell you everything I know about Tyler’s EP.”

Harding paused for a moment, then burst into laughter.

“Oh Fillmore, you sly dog you!” Harding wiped a tear from her eye. “I appreciate the offer, I truly do. But rest assured, I have no trouble with my enemies; I can take care of them all right.” She bopped Fillmore on the nose. “No; the only people who keep me walking the floor at night are scheming friends like yourself!”

“What’s the big deal?” Fillmore asked. “Even if people found out I told you, no one would fault you for breaking The Law of the Land against a scoundrel like Tyler.”

Harding lowered her smile slightly.

“I’m well aware of that much at least…but the answer’s still no. Regardless of what may happen today, I intend to maintain The Law of the Land until my very last breath.”

Fillmore raised an eyebrow.

“Wait…are you seriously planning to uphold both halves of The Law of the Land in your match today?”

“Abso-tutely!”

Fillmore shook her head.

“I can accept not wanting to learn about Tyler’s EP out of a foolish sense of pride…but I just can’t understand going into this fight without the intent to kill, especially when you know your opponent won’t be doing the same.”

“Why, it’s really simple, really,” Harding regained her smile. “Killing Tyler will result in nothing but an uproar of violent chaos across the nation, and that won’t do anyone any good. No, what this country needs right now is not a cruel and unusual punishment, but a sense of genuine amnesty! That’s the only way our nation can heal from its scars of old.”

Fillmore shrugged.

“Do what you gotta do, Harding. I’ll only ask one thing in return,” Fillmore spoke, walking towards the stands, “try not to die.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Hurry up Gonzo!” Thomspon screamed as the two sprinted towards the coliseum entrance. “We can still make it before—”

“Before the next match begins?”

Thompson skidded to a halt as a Secret Service agent stepped forward, blocking her way.

“I suppose that’s technically true,” the agent went on, checking his watch, “given that we’ve been waiting for you to start the match.”

“You…” Thompson growled, “you’re that same brownnoser from yesterday!”

“Indeed,” the agent replied dryly, taking out their walkie-talkie. “Hayes, please teleport—”

“Hold it!” Thompson barked. “We need to go do something first! It’s a matter of life or death!”

“Oh, really?” the agent spoke with feigned concern. “Well in that case, let me go ahead and…”

He paused, then slapped himself on the forehead.

“Ah darn, there’s just one problem.”

“…and what’s that?” Thompson growled.

The agent gave a grin.

“I’m too much of a `brownnoser’ for all that…”

Thompson started to respond, but she and Gonzo were teleported into the commentary box before she could protest further.

“Dammit!” she screamed, slamming a fist onto her desk.

“…you alright there, Thompson?”

She turned around, stepping back as she noticed Truman’s large frame towering over her.

“Y-yeah,” she stammered. “Never better! Let’s…let’s just go and get started.”

Truman stared a moment longer, then gave a soft nod and sat in his chair.

Thompson rubbed her forehead, pulling a cigarette from her pocket and giving a puff before sitting down besides him. She cracked her neck, then picked up the mic off her desk…

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Fillmore. The character Midori Fillmore is based on the real-life President Millard Fillmore who had no actual connection or relationship with Warren Harding. The kimono that Midori wears is based on Millard Fillmore authorizing Matthew Perry’s famous expedition to open Japan to foreign trade.

No Trouble with my Enemies. This line by Wanda Harding is a reference to a quote of Warren Harding’s saying “I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they're the ones who keep me walking the floor at nights! ” in reference to some of his friends being involved with various scandals.