Spiraling Consciousness

The artificial moon was breathtaking. That was my singular thought as I contemplated on whatever we had done today. But as soon as I turned around towards Natsuki, I was stupefied to see my eyes meet hers.

"Oh"

A singular reaction from her, as she found our locking of eyes a bit awkward and turned around to face the sky.

"Looks like it's over. Shall we proceed?"

The abashed eyes of hers were enough to convey what she wanted, so this time I took the lead and strutted out the door of the astronomy club. A new expression on her face, maybe I was finally able to uncover another layer of this well covered onion. But what I really wanted was for this moment to continue forever.

"Uh... Saya? Sorry to cut it short, but I think it's about time."

"Huh? Oh yeah I forgot. Let's go back to together to the gym then."

"Sure"

As I looked around, I could two versions of me on my shoulders. Wow, how cliche. But my consciousness was not going to cut me any slack.

The angelic one was forcing me to practice restraint:
'Don't be so clingy, Saya. Can't you understand how hard it was for Natsuki to reconcile with her clubmates? And now you just want to monopolize her? Haven't you had enough?'

While the devilish one was edging me towards my deepest and darkest desire:
'Hold her hand and don't let her go. You know she can't say no to you, right? Why does she anyway want to go back to a place that she left behind? Is she not having enough fun with you? '

"ENOUGH!" Mistakenly, I said that out loud. I turned around to see more than a pair of eyes on me now, including Natsuki's.

"Saya, is something wrong?"

I couldn't fathom to explain what is going on in my curdled mind. I tried to make a beeline for my escape, but got caught midway as Natsuki grabbed my hand tightly.

"Woah, woah. Let's not get hasty here. If you don't want to say, it's fine. But at least stay with me till the gym? Please."

A pained expression, which I have seen plentiful times. And now I'm the one causing it. I turned around and quietly followed Natsuki as we headed to the gym. I had nothing to say. The dread was all too powerful, but I kept it aside for a moment so as to continue to pester Natsuki for a little longer. Selfishily.