Fully Erased

The apparition's face twisted into anger.

“What’s it matter to you?”

Anna had struck a nerve.

Every word mattered. Anna knew she needed to choose them carefully, otherwise things would escalate. “Because, we’re in this together.”

The spirit kept his arms crossed as he lifted his chin. “We? Nope. I don’t do ‘we’ anymore. It’s me.” He turned his back on Anna. “Only me.”

Anna held up the stylus by its tip, maintaining her gentleness. “The nobles stuck you in this, didn’t they.”

The apparition looked over his shoulder. “Are you sure you want to do this? Really sure?” He arched an eyebrow. “Because you asked me to never tell you anything, just before you used death magic on yourself.”

Anna blinked, shocked. “Why would I do that?” She swallowed hard, afraid of his warning. “And how am I still alive?”

“See?” the spirit pressed. “You still want to know? Because once I tell you, you can’t put that genie back in the bottle. Old Anna was smart. You? You’re pretty stupid.”

Anna’s heart leapt into her throat at the biting remark.

“I-I just want to go home,” Anna replied, deeply hurt.

“Well you can’t,” he glared. “So just let it go.”

Anna trembled but finally shook her head, pressing the matter. “There must be some way.”

“The only way to go home means doing the noble’s bidding. Old Anna fell for their manipulation. You want the same thing again?”

“No!”

“Then let it go.”

Anna fell silent. She was now at a threshold. If she persisted, whatever her old self had tried to fix would fail. But she couldn’t choose to do nothing and give up. She turned around and sat down on the edge of the bed, elbows in her lap, hands cradling her head, thinking carefully.

“What would Old Anna do now?”

The spirit seemed genuinely surprised by that response. Both eyebrows arched as he uncrossed his arms. “Huh.” He thought about the question for a while, seemingly interested in the mental challenge it offered. “I’m not sure.”

Anna turned her upper body to look at him. “I’m not asking for certainty, just your best guess.”

“We only spoke for a short time.”

“Did she want to return home?”

“She didn’t say.”

“What do you think you could tell me, while still honoring her wishes?”

“She said to not tell you anything because she feared you would repeat the same mistakes.”

It felt as though she were arguing with herself. In a way, she was. An incorporeal figure of herself. One which was abiding by Old Anna’s will. Apparently Old Anna had a better understanding of the situation, and had earned the stylus’ trust, enough to get him to uphold her wishes.

“If you tell me nothing, then I am going to repeat the same mistakes, because I refuse to sit back and do nothing.”

The spirit shook his head. “No. Old Anna fell into the same trap that I did. If I can stop that from repeating, I will.”

“So this is ultimately about your being isekaied too.”

“Fine. Yes. I was isekaied too!” he snapped back, irritated. “Happy?”

“No, I’m not happy.” Anna did her best to express her sympathies, both in tone and facial expression. “This has been very traumatic for me, so I am certain it was for you.”

“What do you know of trauma?!”

Anna swallowed hard again, taken aback by the outburst.

“You’re just stupid and spineless!” The spirit hovered close, glaring. “You haven’t sacrificed all your friends, your students, everything on a hopeless folly!” He pointed furiously at himself. “I faced The Great Undeath! Everyone perished but me! I even raised their remains. Failed again. My life in this forsaken realm was an absolute waste!”

He swiped angrily at the stylus in Anna’s hand, but his pale blue hand passed straight through it. His eyes swelled with rage.

“And rather than putting me out of my misery-,” he swiped again, howling, “-they stuck me in a stylus! Because maybe, one day, I could be useful to them again!”

Another swipe. Just as futile.

“BREAK IT ALREADY!"

He didn’t need to breathe, yet his shoulders rose and fell, as though he were panting from the effort of yelling.

“No, you’re right.” Anna took the stylus in both hands, putting her thumbs end to end so as to focus the leverage in the middle.

The spirit stared back, shocked.

Anna flexed her hands, clicking her tongue to make a snapping sound.

“You mock me,” the apparition groaned.

“No, it’s broken now,” Anna replied, putting on her best face of confidence. The reality was she was scared out of her mind. She set the stylus down on the bed atop the pall. “You no longer exist.”

“What are you getting at? This is stupid.”

“Ah ah,” Anna replied, holding up her hand at the spirit. “You no longer exist now. So you can’t say anything.”

He folded his arms across his chest and tilted his head.

“You’re now erased. Everything you ever did you’ve forgotten. Anything you valued is forgotten. There’s no chance to change the future because you’re no longer here. You can’t help me avoid making your mistakes because you’re not here to advise me. Your life was truly a waste because things will largely repeat themselves.”

“No.”

Anna shook her head. “Nope. You’re gone now, remember? I did what you asked. I broke the stylus. Because I care enough to honor your wishes. Just like you care enough about Old Anna to honor hers.”

The spirit sat down on foot of the bed, looking away.

Anna reached to pick up the stylus, moving to sit beside the spirit. “Whatever Old Anna did, she broke her stylus.” She held the utensil out by the tip as if it could be taken from her. “I know you can’t take it, but I’m handing it to you.”

He lowered his head to look at the floor.

“Old Anna is no longer here. I wish she was. You said she was smart. She would have figured this out. But she made a decision. Now we’re stuck with this version of me. If you give up, I’ll be even worse off. Is that what you want?”

The apparition gave no response.

“If you want to, I will break the stylus for you. I’m sorry for everything you’ve gone through. What’s happened, it’s not fair. It’s hurtful. But will erasing you make things any better?” Anna shifted the stylus to hold it in both hands. Despite it being uncomfortably cold, she held it close to her skin, letting her body heat try to warm it. Maybe it would help him feel warmth.

The spirit sat in silence for a long time, staring at the floor, weighing Anna’s words. “Fine.”

“What do you want to know?”