Past depressing thoughts (part 1)

I definitely underestimated how fast the world moves...

I guess it makes sense. Even after a tragedy, people still have to sell their fish before it spoils, just to name the first example that comes to mind.

I navigate the surprisingly crowded streets of the city. The damp smell of the market and the clatter of boots against the cobblestones are overwhelming, and my shoulders tense every time a stranger brushes past me. They aren't doing anything wrong, and I try not to let it bother me, but I absolutely hate crowds. 'Mmm, no, I must be overreacting.' People definitely have more important things to worry about than staring at me, right?

I focus my sensitive ears, tuning into the hum of conversations around me.

"... I want to bury my face in that fluffy tail..."

A violent shiver runs down my spine. I desperately want to shoot a fireball at the idiot who just said that.

'Breathe, Seina. Calm down.'

It has to be an isolated incident, just a stroke of bad luck and nothing more. Let's try again. Is there anything else?

"... I want to lift her tail to see more of that wonderful butt..."

'Turn it off, turn it off!' I clench my hands tight, extinguishing the two sparks of fire that suddenly flare in my palms. Ugh. I guess this is what I get for eavesdropping. Let's not try this again.

Um, then again... they say the third time is the charm. All right. Just one more. One last time, and then I'm on my way.

"Look, how unusual. A fox." Not a zoo exhibit, thank you.

"Her ears are so cute~"

Well, I can't argue with that.

"I have to stroke that heavenly fluff on her ears..." Please don't.

"Mom, I'm hungry."

"Bro, I'm in love."

"With that fox girl?"

"With her tail! Look how it sways back and forth, contrasting with her hips. Do you think if I walk next to her, I might accidentally touch it?"

I'll accidentally break your wrist if you do.

"Fresh pineapples here! Fresh from Isaac City!"

"Look at that nice cleavage."

"Want to go swimming next weekend?"

"Those legs..."

"Hey, she's blushing."

"Damn guards. It's really hard to kidnap someone in this city..."

"Why did you take a job like that, you idiot?"

"I was drunk."

"I'm going to ask her out."

"I want to nibble on her ears..."

Yeah, just as I thought. Just hungry kids, fruit vendors, and...

Wait. Didn't I just hear something incredibly dangerous?

I whip my head in the direction of the voice that muttered the word 'kidnapping,' but the sea of bodies is too dense. I can't pinpoint the source... Hmm, oh well. The security in this town is supposed to be the best in the country. I'll just have to trust that and hope I don't regret it. Still, I should definitely mention it to Nicole later, just in case.

Overwhelmed by the crushing noise and the ever-growing crowd, I veer off into a quiet side street. I walk aimlessly for a while, letting my tense muscles relax as the chaotic hum of the main road slowly fades behind me. The fewer people, the better...

I pass a few stragglers here and there until I finally stumble upon a fascinating street. It's technically still the city center, but the hard cobblestones give way to softer, uneven dirt paths, completely changing the sound of my footsteps. It has a much more rustic, rural feel. I think I like it.

Honestly, I was drawn here by a rich, savory aroma I picked up after walking for maybe forty minutes. The crisp breeze carries hints of roasted garlic, heavy spices, and some kind of thick, sizzling meat I can't quite identify. With every step I take, the smell grows richer, practically coaxing my stomach to rumble. Following my nose down a narrow bend, I finally spot the source: a cozy wooden building nestled between two quiet storefronts.

Huh... is it a restaurant or a tavern? Honestly, as long as they serve food, it's a restaurant to me.

The exterior perfectly matches the neighborhood. It's a small, cozy wooden building with weathered wood that has clearly seen better days, but you can tell someone takes real pride in keeping it clean and sturdy.

'I want to go in, but...'

Normally, I avoid small establishments. The tight walls make me feel boxed in, and I despise being packed shoulder-to-shoulder with strangers. However, glancing through the glass, it looks rather empty. It gives off a warm, homely vibe, like walking into a grandmother's kitchen. Not to mention that mouthwatering, spicy aroma is practically dragging me by the nose.

Okay. Instead of standing out here on the curb like a fool, I might as well go in before the lunch rush hits.

I reach out, push open the heavy wooden door, and step over the threshold. A gentle brass bell chimes overhead as the rich smell of food washes over me.

I stop in my tracks for a second just to take it in. Oh, wow. It's much bigger on the inside... Or rather, much deeper.

Sturdy wooden tables and chairs line both walls, leaving a wide, comfortable aisle down the middle. The air here feels thick and comforting, a stark contrast to the chilly street outside. Toward the back sits a classic tavern bar, its shelves lined with dozens of glowing glass bottles. The warm, yellow lantern light is incredibly pleasant. It creates a soft contrast against a separate room in the back right corner, which is brightly illuminated by natural white sunlight pouring through a window.

"Good morning," I say, stepping up to the polished wood of the empty bar.

"I'll be right there!" a cheerful voice echoes from the back.

I hear the quick patter of footsteps before a young lady bursts through a swinging door, dressed in a crisp, pretty waitress uniform.

Almost unconsciously, my eyes drift to her impressive chest... They aren't quite as large as Nicole's, but definitely a size or two bigger than mine. At first glance, it's obvious she's an elf. Her long blonde hair is swept up into a neat bun, and bright, golden-yellow eyes frame a genuinely cute baby face.

Taking another, more discreet peek, I notice that her curves don't stop there. Even from the front, it's obvious she has a generously sized rear.

'Wait, since when do I instantly check out people's bodies the second we meet? Stop being weird, me.'

"Good morning! Would you like to eat in or take it to go?"

She might have a very mature, erotic body, but her bright voice and bubbly expressions are pure, unadulterated adorable.

"Here is fine, thank you." I hold up a hand to stop her as she reaches for a menu. "Excuse me, but what kind of meat is cooking in the kitchen right now?"

She pauses, blinking at me in mild surprise. Then her gaze drifts upward to my ears, and her lips curl into a soft smile. That's when I catch myself. I've been sniffing the air with my tail swaying happily behind me, which only seems to amuse her more.

"Hehe, it's Crabsnake!" she chirps, practically vibrating with excitement. "Some huge guy hunted out near the port of Isaac City! I've heard the sea's been acting all strange lately, washing up all sorts of weird stuff onto the shore. Crazy, right? Since it's a newly discovered species, we're still experimenting with the recipe, but I promise it's delicious! I'll go get a plate started for you right now. Oh, right. Sit wherever you like! I highly recommend the spot in the back!"

"Eh..."

She vanishes back through the kitchen doors before I can even process a response... Wow. She just machine-gunned a ton of information at me and escaped. I guess I've already ordered.

Wait. If this 'Crabsnake' is a newly discovered species, isn't it going to be incredibly expensive?

Oh well, it's fine. I always carry a decent amount of cash on me. I hate going out with an empty wallet. I end up stressing the whole time about whether I have enough money to cover my tab and panicking about what I'd do if I came up short.

'Enough of these useless thoughts. The room in the back, huh?'

I make my way down the aisle and step into the brightly lit alcove. Instead of stiff wooden chairs, a large, polished table is surrounded by plush, inviting sofas. And just as I suspected, the room features a massive glass window that offers... Huh, what a spectacular view!

I hadn't realized it while walking, but this tavern sits right on the edge of a steep incline.

From this vantage point, I can look down at a lush, sunken park centered around a large pond. The park is nestled neatly in the center of a sprawling residential district. The sunlight filtering through the glass feels warm, and the quiet atmosphere wraps around me like a blanket. How nice...

I plant my bum on the comfortable sofa at the front of the alcove, giving me the best view of the city and the rest of the restaurant. Yes, very comfortable. Maybe a little too soft for my taste, but it'll do.

... While I wait for my food, my mind starts to wander.

Everyone needs a break from time to time, no matter how big or small the burden. At the academy, we get the weekends off. I usually work or help out at home on one of those two days. As for the other day, even though it is technically my only day completely free of obligations, it has somehow become the most stressful day of my week over the last few years.

I get almost desperate for something to do.

Not because I am a workaholic or hyperactive. On the contrary, I absolutely love to sleep. If I had the money, I would never go back to working with strangers. Every time someone walked into the bakery or any of my past jobs, I had to mentally beg them to be a normal customer.

Please don't talk to me.

Don't flirt with me.

Don't make jokes I don't understand that force me to fake a smile.

Don't complain.

Just choose what you want, pay for it, and please leave! But apparently, even that is sometimes too much to ask.

Cooking, cleaning the house, gardening, knitting, singing, exercising, going out to explore the city... I even went so far as to accept my classmates' invitation to go out and have fun, although 'fun' was the last thing I felt that day.

The point is, with nothing to do, I have a bad habit of overthinking. As the hours go by, my mind drifts to darker and darker places. So, I decided to keep myself busy. As much as I hate it, and as much as I just want to sleep all day, I simply don't trust my own mind to leave me alone.

A year ago, I became so ill that I didn't even have the strength to do anything. Luckily, I was able to go to the bathroom by myself, albeit barely, which saved me a lot of embarrassment. I will always be grateful to my saintly cousin who took time off work to look after me.