Chapter 22:

Goodbye

Skipped a Beat


(Several loops later)Bookmark here

*Phone buzzingBookmark here

Bookmark here

WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I BEEN DOING?! THIS WILL NEVER END… I NEED TO STOP. Bookmark here

How many years has it been since I just gave up and started repeating these years? 10? 20? I don’t remember anything from back then what was I even thinking… what do I do now? I can’t sit at home either. I have tried… Mom doesn’t let me, and I just can’t tell that I have been restarting. Bookmark here

Should I just continue? It isn’t that bad, at least I get to spend time with Sachi… though now I am completely aware of what happens when. It’s boring now. There’s nothing new. Nothing surprising me. Nothing excites me. And I am still just going, repeating these 2 years… but what could I have done? I can’t ignore Sachi, it still hurts when sometimes I couldn’t save her. Bookmark here

I need a way that I won’t cross paths with her at all. That way I won’t have any feeling for her. should I kill her at the start of first year… No! what am I thinking… I have spent all this time trying to save her and now I… can’t. I won’t. I need help, I should ask Eiji and others. What do they say about it… but the embarrassment of being laughed at… it doesn’t matter. I need a way out of this loop. I won’t tell them anything about Sachi dying. Just that I have been repeating these years, and the reason…Bookmark here

But I just can’t do that. I need to be friends with them first. Then after summer vacation. I’ll tell them everything.
Today’s the first day of first year.Bookmark here

(After summer vacations)Bookmark here

I asked everyone to gather at my house… told them I wanted to talk about something
Today’s 8th September 2018. They should be here by 10: 00. It’s 09: 38 right now.Bookmark here

09: 58, someone rang the doorbell, they must be hereBookmark here

“Good morning, Eiji, Aoi, Hina” (Takahashi)Bookmark here

“Good morning, Takahashi” (Eiji, Aoi and Hina)Bookmark here

“Come in” (Takahashi)Bookmark here

“(in Takahashi’s room) so what did you wanted to talk about?” (Eiji)Bookmark here

“I won’t explain everything because I have gotten tired of explaining everything to you guys. Though it has been a while since I explained anything.”Bookmark here

“Huh…? What are you talking about?” (Eiji)Bookmark here

“I am stuck in a loop; I have been going through my first and second year for years now. I don’t even remember how many…”Bookmark here

“I don’t understand anything…” (Eiji)Bookmark here

“Yeah, me neither. What do you mean by ‘Loop’?” (Aoi)Bookmark here

“By loop I mean, first I am in 2018, then I go to 2019 then I go back to 2018 again. It’s been repeating like this for years now”Bookmark here

“It’s still 2018, how can you go to 2019?” (Aoi)Bookmark here

“Because I have been through this year already. A LOT of times now”Bookmark here

“You go to 2019 after this and then come back to this year?” (Eiji)Bookmark here

“Yes, exactly. It just repeats like this. I don’t know how many years it has been now, probably more than 25 years”Bookmark here

“WHAT?! 25 years? Do you know why it happens?” (Hina)Bookmark here

“Yes, in second year, a transfer student named Sachi joins our class… and I fell in love with her”Bookmark here

“And?” (Hina)Bookmark here

“Nothing, just that”Bookmark here

“You restart because you fell in love with a girl?” (Hina)Bookmark here

“Yeah…”Bookmark here

“Why… that is a really stupid reason” (Hina)Bookmark here

“Yeah, it doesn’t make sense, are you sure it’s because of that?” (Eiji)Bookmark here

“Yeah, I’m sure. Because one time, in first year. I started liking Aoi… that year I restarted back to the start of first year.”Bookmark here

“Oh… So, you can’t fall in love with anyone?” (Aoi)Bookmark here

“I don’t know but it seems like it.”Bookmark here

“So, what’s the problem? You fall in love with her in every second year?”Bookmark here

“Yeah, I have tried so many times. But I just can’t ignore her. she’s always right there Infront of me… It hurts me when I try to ignore her”Bookmark here

“Why not just change school?” (Hina)Bookmark here

“I can’t. what will I tell my mom and dad, why I want to change school?”Bookmark here

“Yeah, you definitely can’t tell this to your parents.”Bookmark here

“Yeah, so I need to think of something. I don’t want to cross paths with Sachi. I don’t want to see her ever again”Bookmark here

“Changing school is the only option I can see too” (Aoi)Bookmark here

“Yeah, or you could stop her from coming here.” (Eiji)Bookmark here

“That won’t work. She comes here because her father moves here because of his job. I have once told her not to come here. But she comes anyway”Bookmark here

“Oh… then change school” (Eiji)Bookmark here

“How? What will I tell my parents? And when?”Bookmark here

“Next year, change school, don’t continue here.” (Eiji)Bookmark here

“In second year? … the thing is, I don’t want to forget about Sachi… so I was kind of fine with these loops. But I know it’s wrong. And if I can, I should find a way out of it”Bookmark here

“Well, you have to decide for yourself, which one is better, the loops or new experiences” (Eiji)Bookmark here

“Oh… Yeah. I have gotten tired of these years. I want a change in my life”Bookmark here

“Then you have to change schools. We’ll be fine with it. We can meet some time after high school. You have to escape this loop first.” (Eiji)Bookmark here

“Yeah, I will. But tell me, what will I say to my parents?”Bookmark here

“Just make up anything”Bookmark here

“And you expect parents to believe a stupid bluff”Bookmark here

“Who said that it has to be stupid”Bookmark here

“I could try to do something stupid and get expelled from school this year”Bookmark here

“No, idiot. If you get expelled and change school. And then if you escape this looping, this stays in your life forever”Bookmark here

“Oh, yeah. Then I’ll talk to mom about changing schools, she can then convince my dad too”Bookmark here

“You can try”Bookmark here

“yeah”Bookmark here

“Well, if there’s nothing you want to talk about, we will leave.”Bookmark here

“Wait… you guys didn’t argue that my situation is weird or unbelievable”Bookmark here

“Takahashi, you look dead serious. No one would be joking with a face like that. And I can see that you are tired of life already” (Eiji)Bookmark here

“Huh…”Bookmark here

“We’ll be going then”Bookmark here

“Okay, thanks for always being there when I need you guys”Bookmark here

“What are you saying! That’s what friends are for”Bookmark here

“Yeah…”Bookmark here

So, I have to change school after first year… should I restart? One last time and change school in the start of first year. because if I want to forget about Sachi, I should also stay away from them. They remind me of Sachi a lot. If I change schools in the start of first year, these guys won’t know about me, and I can easily stay away from them, and it will not be rude… what will I say to them in second year? … Simple, I don’t need to say anything. I’ll just go to second year like normal and say that this is the last time I wanted to be with her. and then when I restart to 2018, I’ll change schools…Bookmark here

(31st March 2020)Bookmark here

This time I saved Sachi, so that I could be the happiest I can be… because this was the last time I'll meet them. Tomorrow, I'll restart. And then change schools…Bookmark here

So it's goodbye then… I never really told them goodbye or anything though, they don't know anything about me repeating years and stuff. But it's fine. And this time I'm actually Okay with forgetting about Sachi. Bookmark here

It's 23: 56 right now, I was thinking I should go meet them last time in third year by staying awake… but I'm too sleepy to even think right now. I'll just go to sleep. Bookmark here

Goodbye guys, thanks for being there for me. I hope I find friends like you in the future too…Bookmark here

(Goes to sleep)Bookmark here

*Phone buzzingBookmark here

Bookmark here

This is going to be the last time I see this room like this.Bookmark here

07: 32 right now. I don't know if my mom's up right now. I should go and check… wait, I haven't even thought of anything to say to her. I want to change school so I can avoid meeting Sachi. Maybe I should just say it. That I want to avoid meeting someone… then she'll probably want to know who it is, and I don't want to mention Sachi at all. Bookmark here

I should just go and talk to her if she's up, I'll make something up while I talk to her… and if she doesn't agree? Well, then I'll kill myself… No… I won't. Suicide Isn't the solution to anything. I have already learnt that by trying it once… I wonder what will happen if I kill myself in first year. Haven't thought about it before. Bookmark here

I should go down…Bookmark here

She is in the kitchen right now… man this is making me nervous...Bookmark here

"... Mom"Bookmark here

"What is it? You aren't getting ready for school"Bookmark here

"I don't want to go to school"Bookmark here

I sound like a kid right now…Bookmark here

"Why? What's wrong?"Bookmark here

"There's someone that got admission there too, I don't want to meet him"Bookmark here

I can't say that it's a girl, mom gets interested in that stuff and I don't want that here. Bookmark here

"Someone you know?"Bookmark here

"Yeah, from middle school."Bookmark here

"What happened between you too?"Bookmark here

"Mom, I don't want to talk about it..."Bookmark here

Since I don't have a proper reasonBookmark here

"Want me to complain to the principal about him?"Bookmark here

"No no, never. That would be really stupid"Bookmark here

"What do you want then? You cannot stay home forever"Bookmark here

"I want to change school"Bookmark here

"Seriously, just because of that, you are going to change schools?"Bookmark here

"Mom, it's not 'just'. You don't know how much he has affected my life"Bookmark here

I died from inside trying to chase a person I was never meant to be with...Bookmark here

"Well, I don't know. Just manage somehow, and you don't know if he'll be in your class or not"Bookmark here

"And if he is?"Bookmark here

"Then I can't say anything until I know why you are so terrified of this person"Bookmark here

"I… just wish I could change schools… any other is fine, but not here"Bookmark here

"Even if I agree, we don't know what your dad will say. For now, go to school and see if he's your classmate or not. We'll talk about this after you get back. Now go get ready or you'll be late"Bookmark here

"No, I'm not going" (Takahashi dashes back to his room)Bookmark here

"Takahashi!" (Mom said in a louder voice)Bookmark here

I should lock the door… what am I going to do if they don't agree, I can't go back there. I should have thought of a better reason than this… now what? How long am I going to sit here…? I think Mom will talk to dad, but I don't know if he'll agree or not. And I don't want to restart again… Bookmark here

(Some hours later) Bookmark here

"Takahashi, open the door" (Mom whole knocking at the door)Bookmark here

… Oh shit, I forgot the door lockedBookmark here

(Takahashi gets up and unlocks the door)Bookmark here

"What were you doing?"Bookmark here

"Sorry… I went to sleep"Bookmark here

"Your dad wants to talk to you right now"Bookmark here

"Oh… okay"Bookmark here

What time is it? 11: 12. I should go down, I don't know how long I made my dad wait… I hope he doesn't get madBookmark here

"Yes dad?"Bookmark here

"What is it about changing schools?Bookmark here

"I can't go to the one I got into this time" Bookmark here

"What if I said that you can't change schools. You have to go to this one no matter what"Bookmark here

"I'll stay locked up in my room"Bookmark here

"How long?"Bookmark here

"Until high school ends"Bookmark here

"*Sigh, fine, tell me which one you want to go to now?"Bookmark here

"Any school, that is in the opposite direction of this one"Bookmark here

"How much do you hate that guy"Bookmark here

"Mom told…?"Bookmark here

"Yeah, I asked her what your reason was. And I thought high school experience doesn't come again in life so it's better if you can fully enjoy it while you're still a student"Bookmark here

Takahashi: You have no idea how many times I have experienced high school life…Bookmark here

"Thanks dad!"Bookmark here

"Just study like you did in middle school"Bookmark here

"I will"Bookmark here

I didn't think dad would be so relaxed about it. At least I get to change school now, and hopefully I don't have to restart.Bookmark here

(Weeks later)Bookmark here

I have started going to another high school now. It makes me sad sometimes when I think that Eiji, Hina and Aoi aren't here. And sometimes I think I should go to them… but they won't even know me so I shouldn't. It would be a waste of time. Bookmark here

(A year later)Bookmark here

I hardly studied since I have studied almost everything more than 10 times, or probably more. And I got the highest marks again this time.Bookmark here

I haven't made any friends yet. Like, there are people that I talk to often, but I won't call them friends.
Bookmark here

I was thinking… I still need to do something about the plane crash. I can start working now and save up until 27th December arrives. I hope nothing has changed since I changed schools... Because I know exactly which flight she takes. So, on 27th, I'll get on that flight and try to stay hidden. If she sees me, she'll know that I'm Takahashi. Wait… what if the plane crashes with me? Will I die? No, I'll restart… or not actually, at that time I still had feelings for her. I wonder what happens if I die without falling in love...Bookmark here

It's 31st March 2019, 22: 55 right now. I'm going to sleep hoping I don't restart.Bookmark here

(Goes to sleep)Bookmark here

"Wake up Takahashi, it's 08: 30 already, you are going to be late for school, Seriously, even though you are a high school student now, can't even set your own alarms"Bookmark here

Huh… why is my mom waking me up… what happened to my alarm… Oh wait, I remember this…Bookmark here

Don't tell me I restarted again… my phone is dead… like it was the first time... I should charge it. Bookmark here

Oh… my calendar says 2019 so it's still 2019. But I have heard my mom say the exact same line 2 or 3 Times…Bookmark here

I should check my uniform… if it's changed back to the old one or is still the same. Bookmark here

It's still the same… I was panicking for nothing… Bookmark here

I should get ready, it's getting late.Bookmark here

(A year later)Bookmark here

I worked part time jobs this whole year and bought a ticket to Kyoto. Got onto the flight at the time she usually did. I made sure she didn't see me. I didn't see her so I know it will be ok.Bookmark here

Second year went fine, I got into a football club and made friends there. I'm now starting to enjoy high school a little. Eiji and others don't come to my mind that much… though during cultural festival… Sachi came to my mind a lot, because she used to confess in those days… aaahhh I shouldn't think about anything now. I have to get over her. Bookmark here

It's 31st March 2020, 23: 11 right now. I was thinking, what if I restarted again? I didn't fall for anyone this year so I know I will not restart… I hope I don't. Bookmark here

I should just go to sleep now. It's getting lateBookmark here

*Phone buzzingBookmark here

… my alarm? Oh, I should check what time it is. 1st April 2020Bookmark here

Bookmark here

So I didn't restart this time… finally I'm out of those loops. Now I can finish high school like a normal student. This is so exciting, finally I can complete high school and go to college, then university.Bookmark here

Bookmarked
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