You Are The One I Care Most

It's been 6 months. Sara and I are still living together under the same roof.

Tomorrow is our midterms exams and I always end up somewhere between top 30. Honestly, top 30 is not that bad.

I'll study at night while listening to songs.

At night.

"Aoto!" Sara called.

"What?" I said.

"Come to my room," she said.

I froze.

Why does she want me to come to her room??

Is she going to.........

NO! Idiot, don't think anything bad about her.

She is the only one who makes food for me and cares about me. Stop thinking bad things.

I went to her room and saw her studying for the midterms, books spread all over her low table.

"Where are your books?" she said.

"Books? What books?" I said.

She stared at me like I was hopeless and said, "Idiot, bring your books. I'm going to be your tutor from now. For the midterms."

"Tutor?" I said.

I went to my room, took my books, and started thinking on the way back — why is she doing all these things for me?

Doesn't she hate me?

When we first met she used to give me those cold stares, like she genuinely hated me.

But why doesn't she give me those cold stares now?

"Idiot!! Did you fall asleep?!" Sara shouted from her room.

I hurried back and she looked up and asked, "So tell me, idiot, what do you want me to teach you?"

"What I want you to teach me?" I said.

"Aren't you the one who wanted to teach me??" I said.

She sighed. "I know, I'm asking you what topics you don't know about."

I told her about everything I didn't understand and she started teaching me.

After a few hours of studying, I got exhausted and she was still teaching me like it was nothing.

I said, "Hey, that's enough. I will pass tomorrow's half-yearly, don't worry."

She looked at me with a very angry face and said, "You just want to pass? You always stay between top 30, isn't that a shame for you, idiot?"

"Um, how did you know I'm always in top 30?"

"No more questions! From now you will do anything after I give you my permission," she said.

I said, "What!!"

"Why would I need your permission?"

She smiled — that dangerous smile — and said, "I'll make you regret it if you don't take my permission."

"Even if you want to take a shower or play games you have to ask for my permission," she said while smiling.

I couldn't take it anymore.

"Hey, Sara, why? Why did you start treating me nice?" I said.

"Didn't you used to give me cold stares? It looked like you genuinely hated me."

Silence

.....

"Nevermind," I said.

She looked down at her notes, then said quietly,

"That's a really tough question, but the answer is simple. I treat people the way they treat others."

"Um, I didn't understand?" I said.

She took a deep breath.

"Back then when we first met, I used to think that you are a rude, pervert, shameless, idiot, and selfish person."

"That's why I used to give you cold stares. But one day I saw you helping some beggars on the street and they were genuinely smiling while seeing you."

"When you started heading home, I went to them and asked them about you."

"They said, 'You visit them every week and give them food and some money.'"

"They also said that 'You are very kind to them'."

"And the way you used to talk to me, I can see how innocent you are, idiot."

"I realized that I was wrong about you and you are not like that."Before I could say anything, she placed both her hands on my cheeks.

Her hands were warm.

"You are the only person, Aoto, I care about most," she said. "And I'm sorry if my words hurt you."

I saw her smiling, and also a little bit of tears in her eyes.

I held her hands and said, "You don't have to be sorry."

"I know you are too kind and I never mind anyone's words," I said.

She looked at me and grabbed my hands tighter.

And said, "I'm glad that I am living with you."

I got too nervous and said, "Um, yeah, I am glad too," my hands were shaking badly.

She saw my hands and smiled and said, "Your hands are shaking, idiot."

"Did I make you nervous?"

"Um, what?" I said.

She said, "Nothing."

"It's almost midnight, you should sleep, Aoto. I hope you will score good in the midterms."

I went to my room and started thinking about all the things that happened with me and Sara while lying in the bed.And I realized that...

"I started developing feelings for her."

Slap

I slapped myself and started talking to myself and said, "Don't think like this, idiot!"

"She loves Ren. I shouldn't develop any romantic feelings toward her."

"It will destroy my life if I ever did."

I convinced myself that I don't love her and fell asleep.And that's how my life starts getting worse.