My Crazy Star Gazing

Sara 2346 July 18, 2046

How did it end up like this? I wonder as Tobias-kun sets up the telescope. How did he and I end up watching the comet alone? It was all thanks to Sora putting the extra spicy sauce on his food. He spotted uncle Sam putting it on his food and demanded to try some. Uncle Sam tried to warn him, but he was having none of it and ended up having a horrible stomach ache. Yukki also found and ate some weird berries and ate them even though she was told not to. Because of that, dad and uncle Sam went to get some medicine while mom and aunty Serana stayed to take care of those two. Mom said we should call off seeing the comet, but uncle Sam insisted that Tobias-kun and I would be fine seeing the comet on our own. “The whole reason we came was so Sara-chan could see the comet, so it’d be a waste if she didn’t. Besides, I’m sure Tobias can get her there and back by himself.” he had said before handing us the telescope and pushing us up the trail.

“Alright, that should do it,” Tobias said as he finished setting up the telescope.” Just as soon as that cloud moves, we should have a great view from up here.”

“Uhh yeah. This is a great spot. Not sure how he does it, but your father always seems to have great plans.” I say

“Yeah, too bad he couldn’t plan around Sora and Yukki eating weird berries and hot sauce,” Tobias-kun says

“Well, at least he had the foresight to give us a blanket. It sure is windy up here,” I say as I snuggle in the blanket.

“Mind if I share that with you? It is a bit nippy tonight,” he says, sitting down next to me. HE WANTS TO SHARE A BLANKET? DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THE COMET? I’m frozen in thought as he climbs into the blanket.

“What’s the name of this comet anyway?” he asks. Oh, he doesn’t know, quick Sara, think of a lie. Anything will do; he knows nothing about comets.

“Uhh... it’s the- it’s Makisu’s comet.” I lie. I can’t tell him it’s known as the Comet of New Love and that if a couple sees the comet alone together while it’s at its brightest new love is bound to strike in the near future. I have to change the subject. I think

“Oh, is it famous? There must’ve been a reason Sora wanted to see it,” he says. AHHH, quick change the subject.

“Well, I’m pretty sure he just wanted to see Iori-san,” I say, trying to change the subject.

“Wait, you didn’t hear us last night, did you?” Tobias-kun says, a bit shocked. WRONG SUBJECT!

“Well, it’s not like I was eavesdropping. I just happened to hear about it when I was taking Yukki to the restroom, is all.” I say.

“We were pretty loud,” Tobias says. “And I don’t know how long he expected to hide it from you either, so I guess it isn’t bad that you heard it now.” This is your chance. Go for it, I think.

“What about you, Tobias-kun? Do-... do you have anybody you like?” I say as confidently as I can muster. Tobias-kun is silent for a moment before speaking.

“No, I’m almost afraid I’m falling behind in that regard. Most people have had their first crush by our age, but I’ve never felt that way, and I don’t know why. I don’t know; it’s probably silly,” he says

‘It’s not silly,” I declare. “Your first love is precious. It sets the bar for everything that comes after it. So it should be something you take seriously.”

“But what if I’ve already met the girl I’m supposed to be with without realizing it? What if I take too long to realize it’s too late for me to do anything?” he says, a bit worried.

“If she is the right one,” I say, putting my head on his shoulder. “Then she’ll wait as long as it takes for you to figure it out.” AAHHHH, HOW CAN I JUST SAY SOMETHING SO EMBARRASSING? WHAT AM I THINKING?

“Thanks, Sara,” he says. “I know I’ll be alright. Just as long as I have my best friends in the world, you and Sora, by my side, I can do anything. Hey, the clouds are moving; we can see it now.” he gets up and looks through the telescope. I sit stiff as a statue. Friends? I think, disappointed. Is that all he sees me as? A friend? I look at him enamored with the comet. A look of pure childish joy spread across his face. The look that first made me fall in love with him.

“Oh man, this is amazing,” he says, looking through the telescope. I watch as he peers through the telescope, his enduring smile shining as brightly as the stars above. “It’s got all sorts of colors to it, and they’re like swirling around one another… I can see why you wanted to see this.” The thought of bumping up against him and vying for a glance through the telescope crosses my mind, and the embarrassment instantly overtakes me. No, I can’t do that; we’re not kids anymore. Besides, I don't want him to get embarrassed. I sigh at my own lack of determination. Here we are alone on a mountain top; the cool summer breeze is flowing in my hair, the stars are shining like diamonds, a once in a lifetime comet made for lovers is out, I’m here with the boy I like; he’s enamored with the sky I brought him to see…. And I still can’t tell him how I feel. I fight against tears welling up, but the lump in my throat betrays me as I choke on it. “Hey, are you okay?” Tobias-kun says. I tremble as he stares at me with intense concern. This is it tell him how you feel! There’s no way he’ll turn you down! My mind screams, but I can’t say the words. What if he rejects me? What if I ruin the mood? What’ll the ride back home be like if he says no? My mind is a buzz as my mouth gaps open. Without a word, Tobias-kun walks over to me. Oh God, what’s he doing? I think as he draws closer. He stops directly in front of me, no more than 5 centimeters away from my face. No, no, he can’t be. He didn’t come here with the same thought as I did, did he? The comet didn’t work that fast, did it? I can’t control my thoughts as he moves his arms around me. HE’S DOING IT! HE’S GOING FOR THE KISS, QUICK CLOSE YOUR EYES! I clamp them shut as he draws closer. I’m not ready. I thought I was, but I’m not, but I can’t stop him now. I stay there waiting for the sensation of his lips on mine but instead, I’m greeted with the feeling of the blanket being wrapped around me. “Why’d you take the blanket off if you were still so cold silly?” he asks, wrapping it around my shoulder.

“What? I’m not cold!” I declare, throwing the blanket off.

“Don’t lie. You’re shaking like a leaf,” he says, placing the blanket back on my shoulders. I look down and see my legs are indeed vibrating so much that I can barely keep my balance. What? Did he mistake my trembling for shivering?

“That’s not shivering,” I declare once again, throwing the blanket off.

“Then what is it?” he questions, placing his hands on his hips.

“It’s becaus-......” I begin but can’t finish. I can’t just say that beginning here with you makes me so nervous that it’s making my whole body tremble.

“Ahahah, you caught me. I’m shivering,” I say, wrapping the blanket all around me and turning away. Pathetic, coward, stupid, my thought is not kind as I try to hide my face in the blanket. MMMHHHMMM Why can’t I just be honest with him?

“You don't need to be so embarrassed. I’m a bit cold, too, ya know.” I turn and see him looking up at the stars with his bare eyes. His silhouette is illuminated by the moon and the myriad of stars behind him.

“I love you.”

“Hrmm?” He asks, turning back towards me. The words escaped my mouth before I could stop them. I did it. I think ecstatically. I told him I love him. I did it, I said it, he knows now. I wait in deathly anxiety for his answer. Did he hear me? Should I say it again? He looks at me and then back to the sky and then back to me before answering.

“Yeah, the moon is pretty bright tonight. That’s called a honeymoon, right?” he asks. He misheard me. My soul is crushed at his response. We can still fix it, just say it again, just….

“No, July’s moon is called the thunder moon because of the frequent thunderstorms,” I say, defeated. My heart is done for, any more, and it’ll burst.

I resign myself to the blanket while he continues gazing at the stars. Before long, the wind again picks up and blows the clouds back over the comet. I never do get to see it, but Tobias-kun’s childlike joy and grin keep me from being in a sour mood as we head back down the mountain.

“That was amazing. I never really understood why you like looking at the stars until now,” Tobias says, skipping down the trail.

“You got a much better view than we would’ve at the school, too much light pollution,” I say, following behind him.

“You mean you don't get that good of a view all the time?” He asks, holding a tree branch back so it doesn’t cover the trail.

“Nope, we’re lucky to see half of that on a good clear night,” I say, ducking under the branch. “Most of the time, we actu- Ahh,” I yip as I’m pulled back by my hair.

“Are you okay?” Tobias says, catching me.

“Ahh yeah, looks like the branch caught some of my hair,” I say once I’m steadily back on my feet. I feel back and can tell that my hair’s been snagged by the branch.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve been more careful with the branch. Here let me help you,” he says, reaching around behind me.

“No um, I ca-”

“No, it’s right at the base of your hair, no way you’d be able to get it,” he says, pressing his body close to mine. We’re so close. Closer than with the blanket. Close enough to kiss him. I think as he fiddles with my hair. He tries to tug at a strand, and I flinch in pain.

“Sorry, I’ll try to be more careful,” he says.

“No, you’re doing… You’re doing fine,” I say as the weight of my inabilities begins to hang over me. He’s right here, and I can’t do anything. I can say whatever I want, he’d hear me perfectly, but I’m too much of a coward to say anything.

“Am I hurting you that much?” he asks as I begin to weep. I can’t answer. All I can muster is to hug him tightly. I cling to him, burying my face into his chest. I love you. I love you so much. You’re always so kind to me, and I love you for it… But you don't know. He comforts me as best he can while I cry, but that only makes me cry more.

“Don’t worry about me, just get my hair unstuck,” I manage to say through the tears.

“Oh, I finished untangling your hair a while ago,” he says.

“What?!” I ask, reaching back. I feel around but find no strands left in the tree. “So why’d you hug me then?” I demand.

“Well, you seemed like you needed to cry,” she says with a smug grin.

“You… You… You have a lot of nerve making a girl cry in front of you like that,” I yell as I push him away.

“Ahh, but you were so cute a moment ago. Where’d that Sara-chan go?”

“Hrmph, don’t call me cute,” I sneer, turning away from him.

“Ahh, come on, sis, you know I love that side of you.”

“You… Love me?” I ask. He said the word! He said the word!

“Well, of course, you’re basically my sister after all. How could I not?” he says as he once again begins to walk down the trail. I reach my arm out towards him as if grasping for a distant memory. “But I want you to love me as more than a sister,” I want to say but can’t. I feel like crying again, but he’s already whipped away enough for one night.

“Are ya coming?” he calls back.

“Uhh yeah,” I respond, running to catch up with him.

“Why does it always seem like I’m waiting for you?” he asks as I catch up and walk beside him.

“Oh please, I’m the one waiting on you,”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks.

“I’ll tell you one day,” I say, smiling a bit. I did say the right girl would wait as long as it took, didn’t I? I think as we continue down the trail. Just don’t make me wait too long.

When we got back to the campsite, it was just uncle Sam up, sitting alone by the fire.

“How was the comet, you two?” he asked as we approached.

“It was amazing, so glad I got to see it,” Tobias says excitedly. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Asleep by now. We got Yukki and Sora the medicine, so they’re doing fine. I let the women and Asato-san go to sleep. Figured I stay up till you two got back.”

“Too bad you couldn’t see it; it was truly a sight to behold,” Tobias-kun says. “Well, I’m gonna hit the hay. See you in the morning.” Tobias-kun says, climbing into his tent, and I’m about to follow suit when Uncle Sam says, “You’re awfully quiet after seeing the Comet of New Love. Did something I should know about happen?” I quickly turn to him in shock.

“You- you knew?” I ask

“Of course, I knew. You think I’d spend so much time coming to see a comet and not look up its name?”

“Then… You know-”

“Know the legend about how if a young man and woman see the comet together that new love is bound to find them? That’s all the articles wanted to talk about.”

“Then is that why you insisted me and Tobias-kun go see it?” I ask.

“Now, Sara-chan, if you’re insinuating that I used reverse psychology on Sora and Yukki to give them both stomach aches, forcing Asato-san and me to get medicine and our wives to take care of them. Leaving just you and Tobias to see the Comet of New Love alone after knowing about the associated legends… Then I’d say you should go to bed. The altitude has clearly gotten to you.” he says with a wink. I hear him pouring water over the fire as I climb into my tent and go to sleep.