For Now, That’s Enough

4th of Kaien, the fields of Reyr, the lands of Jóarr

(A week later)

As their path brought them closer and closer to the borders of the kingdom, the forests slowly starting to give way to large fields of reeds, a sign they were quickly approaching the mountain pass. The lands of Jóarr were rough, the ground carrying a distinct iron smell, be it from the blood rumored to have seeped into the groundwater long ago, or from the horseshoes on hooves of horses bred for battle, traversing the vast plains in great numbers. Fields such as these were not an unusual sight, the group had already traversed similar locations in the past, but Fin had a grim look about her now that she hadn’t before. It might have been because of the passing storm clouds that had made sunshine a rare commodity for the last few days, or perhaps it was the distant thunder that made them think of the impending rain. Despite all of the evidence for it, the smell of an impending storm was distinctly, uncomfortably absent.

Despite their confusion, they pressed on, and eventually the real reason for Fin’s apparent distress became obvious. Beyond the next hill, from above a set of trees that sat in their path, an unusual thing in the field, they could see smoke rising. It didn’t rise in the steady stream one would expect from a camp, but rose as though it was from something much more chaotic.

“I didn’t want my hunch to be right.” Her voice was grim as her suspicions were confirmed. “Distant thunder often sounds similar to large-scale magic from afar.” Fin walked forward, her expression hidden by her hair flying in the wind.

“Before us is a battlefield,” she announced, her tone still dark. “I expect we’ll be on the front line as we pass the next stretch of trees.”

She turned around, her eyes searching for Hal’s. The resolve in her eyes when they first met were mere embers compared to what Hal saw in them now. Fin’s expression now was one that terrified Hal, though she did her best for it to not show.

“It’s the last chance you have to turn back, Blíðrhallr.” Fin turned once more, away from the group, walking toward the battlefield with each step deliberate, slowly drawing her sword from its sheath.

“No matter your decision, know that I will go fight for my people.”

“Then, I shall accompany you.” Hrim moved forward, ahead of Hal and Rei, stopping once he was standing side by side with Fin.

“That’s dependable. With someone like you with me, returning home might not be a concern, after all.” Fin started walking forward, Hrim walking in lockstep, his soldier’s training.

They left the other two behind to make their own choice on the matter.

Hal hesitated. She’d always done what she could for the people she met, but if she brought suffering to others, where would that lead her? Deep down, she’d known for a long time that she’d have to face this decision sooner rather than later. A hero fights for her people, she knew that much.

And yet, it was more difficult than she thought to walk forward. By the time Hal could finally start moving again, it felt like an eternity had passed. Fin and Hrim were long gone, having disappeared entirely past the trees by now.

Rei had waited, then followed after Hal, all in silence. She knew how hard of a decision this was for Hal to make. In her own words, “A hero does not kill lightly,” and Rei had watched her hesitation again and again, not even just against other people, but even against a wolf or a golem. Rei knew that Hal made the decision herself, but part of Rei had hoped Hal might step back, instead, that she might have chosen to stay safe.

Yet, they progressed forward, the sounds of passing wind slowly replaced by yells, screams, the clashing of steel, and magical aftershocks.

There were more fighting than Hal imagined, though by now most of them were already defeated, their remains littering the ground. The soil was soaked in blood, the smell of iron tingling in the air, giving further credence to the soil’s richness in iron coming from battle. Hal could see in the distance how Fin used her magic to send multiple glass blades across the battlefield, tearing apart battalion after battalion. She watched as Hrim instantly froze an entire cavalry charge, and, once they were still, she watched the aftershocks of a magic barrage shattering each one of them into a million pieces.

Hal stopped at the edge of the battlefield and looked down to her hands. Even if she knew she had a reason to fight, be it to receive needed information or to help Fin help her people, she felt paralyzed and unable to move forward. While navigating the thicket of trees, she had thought she might try to defeat them as she did with the bandits, simply knocking them out and tying them up. But now that Hal saw the battlefield with her own eyes, the thought was quickly abandoned. If she knocked someone out, they would simply get up once again when they were conscious. There was a fundamental difference between these soldiers and the bandits from before, one that terrified her. A bandit would retreat; but even with a broken or even missing arm, or leg, a soldier was trained to fight until the bitter end.

Seeing Hal’s hesitation and trying to take advantage of it, a nearby soldier noticed her insignia and aimed his spear at her chest. It struck true, yet broke on impact.

But it was enough to bring Hal back to the present moment. Taken out of her revelry, she looked at the man, now taking out his sword and charging. As he swung, she hesitantly blocked his strikes with her forearms, sparks flying with each connection.

Seeing the sparks raining down, Hal thought back to the golem. Perhaps she could channel the same feeling, the same resolve as she had back then. Perhaps she could just put this man out of his misery.

She deflected one more of his strikes with her arm, her other sinking deep into his chest. Blood flowed from the wound and his mouth, splashing on her face and clothes, before she withdrew her arm and he slowly fell to the ground, dead.

That was it? That was all it took…?

Hal fell to her knees, studying her bloodied hand deeply. This was different. This was a human being - he had a purpose. Hal hadn’t put him out of his misery, she’d only ended his life.

She did not know when Rei had arrived to stand beside her, but she was there, her own face bloodied and her sword stained. Hal blanched upon seeing her, nauseated and dumbstruck. Rei, too, was…

“Hal…” Rei looked at the dead soldier, her mind putting together all the pieces of what must have happened.

She bent down in front of Hal, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her gently to make her look up, to make their gazes meet.

“Hal, listen to me.” Rei shook her again lightly as Hal’s eyes drifted back down. “Everyone’s ideals are different. These people… They’re fighting for their own ideals, just like we are fighting for ours.”

“Ideals…” Hal looked around her.

She understood well enough what Rei was saying. Each side was fighting for their own ideals, thus they saw fit to extinguish the other’s. It was, after all, normal to defend oneself. Yet…

“... Somehow that also feels wrong,” Her stare was empty, and her laugh was short and hollow.

Nonetheless, after a moment longer, Blíðrhallr stood, her shaking hands slowly steadying themselves as her fingers curled onto the hem of her dress, squeezing.

“But… If I don’t move, I’ll die.”

She looked at the scratch on her clothes left by the spear of the fallen soldier, then over to Rei, now standing with her. “You’ll die.” Her smile was based in fear now, stare still hopeless. “Fin and Hrim… They’ll die, too…”

She let go of her skirt, and while closing her fist again, she walked forward, resigned, “For now, that’s enough… But…”

The fighting continued until deep into the night and until morning rose. As light once more pierced through the clouds, it fell on Blíðrhallr as she looked at her hands, a deep crimson made from many people.

“... This is blood that I’ll never be able to wash off.”