“The hero's heart disagrees.”

Understand myself.

Who I’m leaving behind.

Well, his name's Roba Reman. His father’s name was Maurin Reman. He was a brave hero, he had a true heros heart, he saved others with a smile on his face, and never asked a single thing in return.

He did what he did because he was a hero.

So then..when his wife and Roba’s mother died, why did he stop saving and smiling, asking to be left to wither till he returned to his wife? As if he were never a hero, as if he didn’t have a son who still needed and wanted him? Because he was who he was for his wife, did the things he did for his wife and she was dead.

And so was his heros heart.

For Roba, before he wanted to be a hero... he wanted to save his village; his father left it to crumble and fall. Killing slimes and goblins, he tried to keep the village of Avaritva on its feet, but with more people succumbing to Avaritva’s will, the greed of the town grew, and poverty ensued.

Roba’s solution for this was to join the adventurers' guild, work his way up, and become a king attribute, using the many gifts and luxuries that came from it, and with a party by his side, he’d save his town.

Pursuing this dream, he wore a smile not alike the one his father wore, and although no one offered, he’d never ask for anything in return. Maybe he did it to be the hero his father wasn’t, maybe because his mother loved her town and would've wanted it safe.

But with his father’s discarded sword, and his heros heart, he cleared every monster on the bulletin board. No one ever looked his way, no one ever thanked him, but they came to know his name, Roba, of that old hero and dead mother. Roba the boy running around with that sword of his, playing hero. Roba, the poor boy from this poor town.

Then came a king slime, no doubt having manifested from a nearby slime hill, made by the core of careless adventurers it wouldn’t affect. It wandered through the town, stealing and consuming the villagers and their belongings. With no other parties and none of his own, Roba decided he’d deal with it on his own. He followed it back to the cave it stayed in, making more slimes which would then overrun their village and terrorize the people. Carelessly he wandered through the slime field in front of the cave and was then ambushed by a slime.

Just one lone, level one slime.

People screamed.

‘Roba! Oh my goodness, roba!‘

Some laughed.

‘Ahaha! Look at him‘

And some panicked.

‘What do we do?!‘

But no one helped.

Soon, I began to drown, slime filling my lungs, I flailed and screamed, trying desperately to tear it from my head, but all I did was meld my fingers together and make it harder to do so.

In that moment, I felt many things and thought many thoughts.

This is pathetic.

Why is this happening?

Am I going to die?

Someone help!

Why won’t anyone help me?

Aren’t I a hero?

How could this happen?

This is embarrassing.

Those thoughts then influenced my actions, or lack thereof.

The slime filled my nostrils and seeped into my eyes making them burn, blood mixing with my tears.

The thoughts went on.

I should give up.

I’m not a hero.

Help me.

Dad, Mom.

Someone.

I quit.

I don’t wanna be a hero anymore.

And then I stopped, my body didn't, it still wanted to fight, but my soul? It had given up, felt like it wanted to for a while now.

My vision went blurry and then—everything stopped. But only for a moment.

“Hey, hero! Are you alright? The villagers told me what you did, that’s very brave of you.”

A gentle voice, unfamiliar then, but now, one I’ll never forget.

The beautiful voice of Jorvain Alberchet, calling me a brave hero.

Elevating my head on his lap I coughed up the slime that had entered my lungs, tears, snot, blood, and slime. Pouring down my face as I sobbed helplessly into his arms, just a stranger back then.

But he saved my life, he was a hero, my hero.

Calming me down and wiping my face, he asked me a question.

“Why did you go to slay the king slime alone?”

And though I should've just told him I had no party, that I was alone.

Instead, the words that escaped my mouth were

“I just wanted things to be different!”

I cried, working myself up all over again.

I guess what I meant was, I wanted to be different. Different than my small poor town, than my withering father, than my mother who’d only live on in me and in his memory.

Than the boy playing pretend hero with the sword of a real hero whose heart went still.

I just wanted to be someone special, someone who mattered to others, bitterly begging the world not to forget me, to reject me without giving me a chance.

But I couldn’t express all of that to Jorvain in that moment, in the end it felt like he understood regardless, because as I looked up at him through my tears, he looked back up at me with understanding I didn’t understand myself.

“I could use a brave hero like you in my party, would you part ways with your town and join me?”

He asked gently

At the time, I didn’t realize how big of a deal Jorvain Alberchet was, I didn’t know the whole world knew his name, I just knew I’d never forget it, and wasn’t that what I wanted for my own name?

Somehow all of my wants and withering dreams culminated into one big slimy blob. I wanted to be a hero, because Jorvain was a hero, and he saved me, and if I was a hero, then I’d be like Jorvain, and I’d save someone else, just like me.

And so from then on, with every piece of gel I gathered from his being, it merged into the greedy blob of slime I had for a heart. Desperate to meld into a mass that resembled his.

I knew I didn’t belong on the Sol Viridis, but Jorvain was there.

And I knew I was lacking, but Jorvain called me special.

And I just wanted to see myself through his eyes.

A brave hero.

But all I’ve come to see is how faulty his gaze is to see something so beautiful in me that isn’t there.

To say I had a heros heart…how foolish.

So maybe he just saw his own reflection in my empty eyes. And mistook it for me.

Still, I understand it now, in this world full of heros, some people are born with the heart of a hero, while others are just meant to help it grow, or try to make it wither.

And if I don’t have heros heart of my own, then I’ll have to help his grow, right?

Yeah, that’s right, just stay by his side, bask in his rays, and sing his praise. That’s the closest I’ll ever get to being a hero.

That’s the new person I’ll become, as I leave who I thought I was behind.

***

“Looks like we’re approaching a hill.”

Emrys says while looking down at her map, Dain raises his arm to lift a branch from hitting her as she does so.

“It could be another slime hill.”

Maelis sighs.

“We got lucky with the last one, it was just becoming one, but a fully realized slime hill could have a king slime”.

Jorvain says.

“Let’s not jinx it.”

Dain adds.

My footsteps slow, the feeling followed by a sudden sharp pang in my chest.

“Roba?”

Maelis says, glancing back at me.

I stumble forward, my hand grasping at my chest.

“Roba!”

Jorvain shouts, his brows furrowed with worry.

They all come rushing over to me.

“I-I’m fine, I’m fine. “

I say with a weak smile.

“Your ardor is all over the place!”

Maelis exclaims

Jorvain tries to reach out to me—but Emrys stops him

“Jorvain don’t! His ardor could…”

She falters, looking away from me.

“Emrys!”

Jorvain scolds

“No she’s right…it could hurt you, it messed with Maelis’s golems earlier and it might mess with your ardor too,”

I say bitterly.

“It could make your ardor spike or become hard to control, until his ardor calms down we all need to keep a bit of a distance.”

Emrys says reluctantly

“No way, he’s in pain!”

Maelis exclaims, their brows furrowed.

I stand to my feet, taking a few steps back.

“As I said, Emrys is right, I don’t wanna hurt anyone…more than I already have, i’ll be okay, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.”

I lie, rubbing my arm with nerves, as I muster up the best smile I can.

“O-okay..”

Maelis mutters.

“We’ll only be a bit ahead, right in view.”

Jorvain says with a small smile.

“Yeah, alright, let’s go on then.”

I say with a shaky thumbs-up.

“Alright.”

Emrys says, avoiding my eyes.

And we carry on.

I lied about the ardor spike happening before, although since the day I went to kill the king slime, my ardor's been negative, it’s never spiked like that, only when I try to use it does it react.

Hard as I tried, I couldn't help feeling that it was my heart disagreeing with my final verdict.

But I ignored it and pushed forward.

End.