Hatred

When I stepped through the dark cloud like matter I entered a long tunnel. To my fascination it was bright inside yet it didn’t have a physical manifestation rather it seemed like air? Like nothing you could hold on to with your bare hands, there were no walls yet it was shaped exactly like a tunnel. How was this possible? Suddenly the white glowing presence was filled with memories all over, surrounding me from all sides.

Like fragmented memories from a time I tried to ignore or tried to forget. There were memories from my childhood, from the time I spent in Chronum, from the time when Lydia pushed me down the stairs, when I was imprisoned at our family cell, when my mother and father called me pathetic, when I was ignored. 

When I was crying out for help in the darkness all on my own but also of the time I spent with grandmother when she visited and when we watered the flowers together. So many memories, of my first awakening, of my trauma and my panic attacks. 

Most of them were things I would have loved to forget. Yet among all of my memories there were fragments of another person’s life. It was Calista’s.

How she discovered a book on dark magic in a bookshelf of an alleyway bookstore and how she began to research more material and spells. 

How grandmother found out and they started arguing, how she met her other member and founded the Black Obsidian, creating an underground academy for people to learn dark magic. So that was why they were wearing uniforms.

There was another memory that caught my eye, it seemed like a rainy day grandmother was visibly there. The moment I tried to reach out with my hand to watch it closely it all just vanished and I suddenly found myself in a new space.

It was like a golden hall filled with light blue water running down from everywhere, right behind my aunt that seemed to await my arrival there was a huge Clocktower standing with the time running unusually slow.

“It took you a little while” She said.

“Well I am here now, so are you finally ready to talk?”

“What is there to talk about? I just don’t want to deal with you anymore, you ruined all of my plans already ever since you were born!” She hissed furiously.

“Why am I at fault? You are the one doing forbidden things!” I screamed at her.

“You! You really don’t know anything huh! Okay let me tell you, about this forsaken fate you and I have.”

I looked at her bewildered while clenching my hands in nervousness. I mean I did act quite proudly and all before I entered but I am still the same person. I still fear and hate to fight but I cannot forget the faces of the fallen, the faces of the futures stolen.

“Those powers of yours were supposed to be mine! They were mine to begin with!” She yelled out.

“Yours? You are saying the same thing that guy called Seymour did back in Synth, what is it about that obsession with my powers?”

“Seymour? No that fool actually believed when I told him I would give him your ability but that was just a lie to use him. I needed him and his ability so I could capture my targets easily.”

“I thought you were comrades? Don’t you care the slightest that I killed him?” I wondered.

“Why would I? At the end of the day, all of them were just chess pieces in my game. They were supposed to move for my sake only! He just couldn’t finish his mission given to him, that's all!”

“You! You are far crueler than I expected you to be! You know, I was still trying to understand you, to find a reason in your way of acting. I thought maybe something forced you to be like this but tell me the truth, grandmother didn’t die by accident right? You killed her! You, her own daughter, killed her! Am I right?!”

“You were supposed to die! In every timeline I was shown through Sai however, you never died at all and it was always because of that godforsaken fiance of yours that always believed you, every single time no matter how I tried to take your life, he always sided with you! Always! It made me so furious that I even tried to seduce him, so he wouldn’t fall for you, but he never took the bait. For the past five years I haven't succeeded. And mother? Yeah I killed her, she was already sick and weakened since she decided to put that spell on you. It wasn't hard to kill her. That damn spell! Every single time, in every single timeline she put that damn spell on you! ” She yelled out in anger.

“Timeline? Sai had clairvoyance, just like grandmother’s friend had? And you killed her without a single regret, just because she opposed you learning dark magic and tried to stop you? She did that for your sake, you idiot! She loved you, that's why she wanted you to stop, but you were so obsessed that you couldn’t even stop yourself from that greediness. Why? You had everything you could have wanted, why would you go so far?” I responded.

“Everything I wanted? I failed to inherit those abilities! I couldn’t continue her legacy, I felt down, everyone made fun of me for being miserable and untalented. But when I found that book, I became stronger. Nobody could overcome me, the spells, the energy, everything felt stronger! I became invincible, I am strong! And no one could look down on me anymore. So I killed those who mocked me. They said sorry, we didn’t mean it like that, but who cares? After all those words, shouldn’t you understand the best how I felt, my dear niece? Everyone ridiculed you the same way, yet you still want to help people. What is wrong with you?” She hissed at me.

“If I did the same thing others did to me, then I wouldn't be any different than them. Why should I kill people who don’t even know anything about how hard I worked, look! There are people out there who would have accepted you for who you are, just because you didn’t meet them, doesn’t mean they never existed! You should have just continued to work hard, instead of chasing a wrong ideal. I was also hurt a hundred of times yet I still-”

“Don’t come at me with that nonsense about diligence and kindness! Those things don't matter in this world! Nobody cares about that, they only care about power and wealth! Look at me closely than you might understand. Don't you remember this face?"

In that exact moment she changed her appearance. Her golden colored hair became slightly wavier and toned dark a little and her eyes turned green like jade pearls. She looked just like my dead sister Lydia.

“That appearance!” I couldn’t utter words. Were you actually, the whole time, were you pretending to be my sister so you could kill me? But how did you do that, if you pretended to be the crown prince’s fiance for five years? Why? How? So the one who tortured me all these years was you?

“I tried to kill you a thousand times, remember? In this appearance I hit you, pushed you down the stairs, tried to set you on fire at night while you were sleeping and so many more things but no matter what I did, you just didn’t die after all! That disgusting spell of mother protected you until you were able to awaken again. Remember the bomb at the entrance of Vermonde? I thought the spell might have weakened since that little spirit of yours appeared but no, it still protected you! But now it’s gone! I can’t feel any traces of mother's aura left on you. I can finally kill you now! After all these years the day you dissappear from this world has finally arrived!” She smirked with a hatred filled gaze.

“Why would you do all of this? All these years I didn’t have a sister at all? But what about her body that I saw that day? How could you be at Chronum and in the imperial capital at the same time! None of this makes sense at all!” I screamed out in frustration.

“I can not only shapeshift but also create dummies. So whenever I had to be at two places at one time I just used my magically created second body and gave him a piece of memories to act out on his own. That body you saw was just that one. A sister? Hell no, you didn’t have one, that was just Ashran playing with your minds! Just like how the fiance of the crown prince never existed! It was just a play!” She laughed hysterically, like a real maniac.

I see…

So all this time you played with my life. 

You made me feel like trash, driving me to the edge so I would actually take my own life, so you could take my dead body and steal my powers, since you couldn’t kill me yourself. 

So that’s what this was all about. 

You never considered me family, you just wanted my abilities, because you are an obsessed and self-centered freak! In every single timeline I existed you tried to kill me? As crazy as that possibility even sounds, with the way you ended up it seems realistic.

“There is no way of changing what you did, I can’t save you. You already drifted too far from what could have been forgiven!” I uttered in pain. 

I felt my chest tightened from all this information, my head pounding from all the build up anger and frustration I felt towards my aunt. How could a human end up in such a cruel way? If I didn’t meet Teiran and the others would I have also become just like her?

“There is no reason to continue this conversation any longer! We should settle this right here, right now!” She said in an apathetic way and then lunged straight ahead towards me.