Blessed mistakes

That same night—seated inside my tent under the dimmest light of a lamp—I made a few more attempts at summoning Oscar.

Come on, dear friend, do me this one favor.

I closed my eyes. A tingling sensation traversed my body, magic coursing through.

It left from my fingertips, along with some of my strength, increasing my drowsiness.

Did it work?

Opening my eyes, I scanned the interior of the tent.

Empty.

He didn't come back.

Which only made my exhaustion heavier.

Don't get discouraged.

If he doesn't return, you will accept it. Keep trying for a few more days or weeks, but don't be shocked if nothing changes.

ᗢ⫘⫘⫘⫘𖦹⫘⫘⫘⫘♡

Morning arrived with a chilling breeze that seeped even through my thick blankets. As I changed from my sleeping garments to my regular attire, I threw out a sneeze.

"Good, so you're awake," Betta said from outside my tent. "Rasbora's taking care of breakfast, so lend me a hand with the buffalos."

"Sure. Give me a minute."

"I'll be counting." Her steps faded away.

And just then I realized how… natural our exchange had been.

We did share some friendly banter last night, so this shouldn't be surprising. But even then—the idea of things between Betta and I going back to how they used to be was just…

Nostalgic.

What I'd give to return to those times.

But that wouldn't happen. I'd accept it and move on.

We had Rasbora with us now—and hopefully a new Justice by the time we returned.

And not long after, a new Prudence. I'd make my best effort to teach them. Not just to avoid my mistakes, but to overcome their own as well.

To accept they'd fail sometimes.

I left my tent a short while later. Morning mist covered the ground completely, making it so I couldn't see below my own knees. My surroundings were also a veil of white—I barely discerned the flame of Rasbora's pot a few steps to my right, and I only knew where to find Betta by following the direction I heard her leave in.

When I found her, we exchanged a few words and I began helping her brush the animals. I'd have thought buffalos didn't need it, given how much they wallowed on their own.

She admitted it wasn't necessary at all, yet she still did it every morning.

"You can take out the tents if you'd rather do that," she'd said. "Or, if you help me, we can take them out together after we're done."

I stayed—better do the tasks together, even if the time spent would be similar either way. Besides, I did tell my mountain of fluff I'd be giving him more attention going forward.

"Oh, you began taking care of your buffalo. That's good."

My brush stopped.

That voice…

For an instant, it paralyzed me. What if it had been my imagination? Or what if he was angry about what I did?

Whatever it is that happens, face it.

I turned my head.

He met my gaze, then looked away with an uncomfortable smile. "Hi. It's been a while, I believe."

"Oscar!"

I tried hugging him, though all I grabbed was air.

"You mean he's back?" Betta asked, and Rasbora appeared through the mist just then.

Oscar looked at Betta and cocked his head. "Dori, you told them about me?"

I smiled so widely my cheeks strained. My eyes watered a little, but I held it in.

"Yes, I did." I turned to my two companions. "And yes, he's back."

Betta's eyes widened slightly, almost imperceptively. She hid it under a smug smile. "Hey, you giant musclebrain, how have things been on your side?"

"Eh, uh, yeah, hi Betta." Oscar kept going back and forth between her and me. "I'm good, being dead is not too bad, other than the odd part about skipping hours or days at a time without realizing it."

Betta didn't respond.

Oh, right.

I cleared my throat and repeated Oscar's words while giving some unprompted details about his body language and tone of voice.

"He keeps fidgeting like a shy kid. Looks cute on someone like him," I said.

Betta narrowed her eyes. "Cute, eh?" She followed it with a snicker. "Let's sit down and have a good long chat. Our morning duties can wait."

ᗢ⫘⫘⫘⫘𖦹⫘⫘⫘⫘♡

"I almost sent him to your place, but then gave the idea a little more thought and decided against it," Betta said as she recounted our little… dispute from a few days ago.

"You also started bawling enough to fill a dam," I added.

"Shut up or I'll make you fill a dam."

"Betta, no threats." Rasbora glared. Betta's response was to smile and lean back.

"Anyway," she continued. "After that, all three of us talked things out and made up completely. Also, out of the kindness of my heart, I gave Cory the chance to save his pet, provided she doesn't harm anyone and leaves human territory forever."

"Good." Oscar said, and I noticed some tears were flowing down his cheeks. Apparently, he also only realized it just then, since he began nervously wiping them out. Every drop that fell disappeared in the mist.

"Oscar, are you—"

"I'm happy! I am, Dori. This is just… so good I don't know what to feel." He sniffled. "You talked and fixed everything on your own without my help. I'm glad things have worked out for you."

I smiled back, having no better response than that.

"So… you gonna tell us what Oscar is saying or what?" Betta asked.

"Right. He's so happy he's crying, that's about it."

"Aww, you big baby. How I wish I could give you a pat on the back right now."

Having caught Oscar up with the latest events, the rest of our conversation devolved into meaninglessly sweet talks about random topics.

Until Oscar felt himself getting sleepy, and right before disappearing, he looked at Betta and said…

He told her to…

"Take care of Dori for me. Lend him your strength if he gets lost again."

The Betta I knew would normally play it tough and make fun of anyone giving her such a corny line.

Yet when I relayed Oscar's words to her, she just nodded.

ᗢ⫘⫘⫘⫘𖦹⫘⫘⫘⫘♡

The next time Oscar appeared was three days later, during an hour when it was almost possible to see the sun through the blurry sky. He asked to talk with me, alone.

Rather than try to sneak away from Betta and Rasbora, I simply told them.

"Sure, we'll walk ahead five or so minutes and wait for you, " Betta said. "Don't you dare get lost—finding you in this weather would be such an annoyance."

Rasbora nodded, and both of them left us alone.

Just like that—without any questions.

"Dori." Oscar clenched his fists. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"For how pushy I've been before."

Eh?

"No, no, no. Oscar, you've got nothing to apologize for. I was totally mistaken back there—you did nothing wrong."

"But I…" He scratched his head, looking down. "I don't know how to say this but… I'm worse than you think."

Huh?

That… felt like something I should be saying.

"Dori, I wanted to help you. After I… died, when you brought me back, I made it my purpose to support you in any way I could, because there was nothing else I could do to make myself useful." He fidgeted and looked anywhere but my eyes. "I don't wanna bore you with a long tale, but… I was the useless kid in my family. My younger brother inherited the main estate. I was left with as little responsibility as possible because I always screwed up with those things since I was such a dumb weirdo."

"No, you don't get to insult yourself in my presence. You're a marvelous person, and you've helped me more than anyone else in my life."

"But you fixed out this entire conflict without me, and that…" He tried to grab me by the shoulders, but his hand went through me. "Dori, it frustrates me when I should be happy for you. I'm glad you figured things out, of course, but there's also a disgusting voice in my head that keeps telling me I should've been the one to give you the push to fix everything, and because you managed to do so without me, I feel worthless."

He turned his back to me. "I'm just… it's ridiculous how crooked I am. Why can't I just be a normal person when it comes to this kind of stuff?"

Hearing all of this sprouted a single simple emotion in me.

Relief.

And so I smiled and hugged him from behind, my arms going through him.

"What are you—" he turned and saw me. "What? Why are you smiling, Dori? I just told you I—"

"For a long time, I've been lying to you and taking advantage of your goodwill and desire to help. Whenever you extended me a hand and I pushed it away, I did so knowing you'd stay by my side no matter what I did, no matter how repugnant I became. And I was disgusted with myself for thinking that way."

I sighed.

"Until I got punished for my arrogance. I shoved you away and you disappeared for good, which sank me so low I thought I'd never see light again. Now, hearing you admit all of those… imperfections that you hate about yourself… It makes me happy. You mess up, just like me, which makes it so much easier to forgive myself for my shortcomings."

His mouth hung open, no words coming out.

"So thank you, Oscar. I forgive you for it, and I ask that you forgive yourself too."

"... I… Dori…" He sniffled, then nodded. "Yeah, I will. And I also forgive you, so do me a favor and don't blame yourself either."

"I won't. I'm done with that."

We smiled at each other, and my only regret was that I couldn't give him a tight hug right now.