Unwanted Power

Sleep came early for Sophia. After her talk with the Prince it became difficult for her to remain. Rest became welcome and needed as her body finally caught up to the stress and fatigue. She didn’t fight hard the same way the soldiers did in the forest, but expending her mana left her more sleepy than she realized. It wasn’t long before she easily fell asleep.

Perhaps it was fortunate then that she did go to bed so early in the day. She wouldn’t have woken up to the strange sound that came from outside. ‘Is that the trees?’ It was sharp, but heavy what she heard. Sophia looked around her darkened room trying to follow the sound. It was silent for too long before she heard it again. ‘No, that’s a foot? Outside? From the hall?’

She sat up fully in the bed holding onto the sheets. The long empty between sounds make it even more anxiety inducing. ‘Is someone there? Is it the Prince or Mister Noan?’ What bit of sleep still hung around her head completely evaporated as every part of her went on alert. It might have been paranoia, but she wasn’t in the castle. ‘It’s not a monster is it? Did it track me and hunt me down because of what I did?’

It was only two sounds, noises of unknown origin. Nothing more followed. She paused, almost holding her breath desperate to try to hear anything. Still there were no more sounds. ‘Was it all in my head?’ She might have been just hearing things. Her racing heart still couldn’t be calmed down, even for as much as she tried to convince herself that there was nothing wrong.

Sophia stared at the balcony door that led outside. ‘I should just go back to sleep. I’m overthinking it.’ The door taunted her. The longer that she stared at it the more that she doubted everything. That doubt raised her stress further even in the dragged out silence. It was stretching her whole body. She just wanted to snap, but it wouldn’t let her go free. The questions were too strong.

She moved a little towards the door while staying in bed. But then stopped and turned away. She rolled up the covers around her trying to close her eyes. ‘If I go back to sleep it won't be there anymore. I won’t have to think about it. It’ll be morning and I can think about returning to the castle.’ The thumping of her heart was so close that she felt it pushing against her. Her hands squeezed on the sheets begging for everything to just calm.

Then a sudden rattle of windows pulled her back. The door was obscured in the darkness. ‘Someone’s…’ Sophia couldn’t even react before the shadows came for her. Her vision became obscured. Something grabbed her and she fought, but they were powerful and forceful. She was lifted out of the bed with ease. Her reaction to yell kicked in, but her mouth was covered.

Heavy stomping from the common room approached. ‘Mister Tolen! Mister Noan!’ She could barely see as her orientation flipped and turned. They were moving her.

The door to her room burst open. “Saint Sophia!” Drawn weapons and grunting immediately clashed as her guards tried to make it to her. She struggled more hoping to slow them down, but they were too strong for her. And then something heavy struck her and everything faded.

Rocking and shaking started to bring her back awake once more. The comfort of her bed was gone. Sophia moved trying to change the hard surface she was pressed against. But it was harder than it should have been. Her body wasn’t moving correctly. ‘My legs… They’re bound…’ Her mind went back to her room and the shadows. ‘I’ve been kidnapped! Who are they? Why did they take me?’

Once she understood her situation enough, she could move her body correctly to lay on her back. But before she could try to sit up there was a deep terrifying voice. “Don’t make any moves, Saint. Just lie right there and we won’t have to get rough with you. Understand?”

It took only a bit of searching to find the man that matched the voice. She was in a covered cart with four cloaked figures. Only one of them was visible enough to her. The hood covered or darkened most of their face with only a pointed nose and scarred chin exposed. She nodded quickly to keep quiet. Ust. Hui. Feur. ‘Why is this happening?’

She kept still even as she wished that she could see where they were. The only thing that she could tell was the movement of the cart. ‘Are Mister Tolen and Noan safe? Is anyone coming for me?’ Sophia tried to listen to anything from outside. All she could hear was the cart and horse. Whoever took her didn’t allow much talking. ‘Guess I won’t learn why they took me until we reach wherever they’re taking me.’ Ust. Hui. Feur. She tried to breathe slowly to keep her heart from pounding too heavily. ‘I might already be out of Eulire. What can I do?’

Sophia had to resist the urge to sit up and look around. The sound of the man’s voice gave her enough to feel like they would act if necessary. ‘It’s still night. Can they find me? What should I do? Do I do nothing and wait?’

The repeated lessons that she received from Prince Henri about the different houses and nations that would be interested in her went through her mind. It wasn’t just the Church that valued her. Anyone that wanted to control the vast power of the Saint wanted her. It was why he said that they kept her in the castle most of the time. It was the safest place for her to be protected. Entering into the heart of the kingdom was a dangerous and highly risky plan and the castle only made that even harder. Most would be turned away from that.

Though Sophia had read of a few attempts by enemy nations in centuries past that tried or just assassinated the Saint. Success of each attempt varied, but the truth remained. The Saint invited threats upon them for just living. Once their usefulness became known no one could ignore it anymore.

Which didn’t give Sophia a narrow list of people that might want her. It could be anyone with a hunger for power. ‘They’re probably mercenaries. What if I make a Barrier around myself? It protected me against the monster. Mostly. I was still hurt. Maybe the Wall would work. Like what happened with Mister Jolsi? But it’d have to be stronger and hurt.’ Sophia thought about having to injure someone. She didn't have to do much more than kill bugs that invaded her desk. ‘Can I even harm someone? I’m supposed to be the Saint.’

As she debated the ethics of what she considered the cart took her further away from any safety. She had no understanding of international relations, but knew leaving Eulire would make any rescue harder. ‘I need to act now, even if it is too late. I don’t have a choice…’

She thought about what options she had. The only tool for her was magic. ‘I can heal, protect and purify. Not exactly offensive options. I could use the Wall to press them against the cart, but that would give sooner than anything most likely. I need a blast of mana that’ll knock them out. Stronger than what I did in my lessons.’

Before she channeled the mana, she tried to visualize the formula. It wasn’t going to be anything she had used before. ‘I’m only going to have one chance. And I can’t be slow. I’m pretty sure my mana is very visible when I’m crafting my magic. They’re going to know I’m doing something. Can I be fast? I’ve never really been quick. It would have to be a small formula, simple and effective that can be fueled by mana quickly.’

Sophia reflected on everything that she knew from her lessons and books that she read. She already did it with the Wall in the forest, but that was a modification. The more that she pointed out the requirements for what she wanted it was a new spell or so heavily modified it’d be a new one. Each circle of the formula controlled different aspects of the channeling. It created form, purpose, duration, numerous different definitions. It was why it made sense to Sophia. There was logic and construction, knowing how to change the patterns would give her new solutions. It was all equations.

Picturing her results, she wanted force and a lot of power. Direction wasn’t needed, allowing her to simplify the formula to only two arrays. Even her healing spell taught to her had five arrays and Mister Jolsi stated that was only the most basic. They got more complex. ‘Another change to the absorption. Without any limiter it should take as much as I give it. But I don’t know how much that is.’

Anxiety and worry filled her as she completed the visualization of her formula. No mana had been channeled yet. They knew nothing, she was a good prisoner. But she would have to change that. ‘I could die. But I can’t do two spells. If I could merge them together, but it’d need too many arrays. I need to keep it focused and simple. I just need to hope this is enough! Please!’ Sophia closed her eyes.

She waited. ‘Maybe the Prince or Mister Tolen will show up.’ Silence. She was alone. ‘I have to act!’ She squeezed her hands together, still bound. The longer she delayed the worse it could be she knew. Sophia took in a breath hoping it wouldn’t be her last. ‘Please work.’

Focusing on her mana and channeling it, she formed the formula in her mind. With her eyes closed she couldn’t see what was happening, but there was quickly shouting from the man again. But the array already had consumed her mana. It drew it in even faster than she thought possible. It was like when she healed the whole room earlier, but extremely compressed.

All she knew in the next instant was that she was falling and a long rupture around her completely deafened her. She could hear nothing. Whatever speed she was traveling at in the cart smashed her into the earth knocking her head around. Everything went hazy for her and she couldn’t form a thought. And then heat surrounded her.

Moments later, she opened her eyes to look around. Everything hurt, but the cart vanished. The previously dark moonlight sky was roaring with red-orange light. She still couldn’t hear anything, but the sight was worse than she expected. ‘What have I done?’ Flames burned in the grass and a tree far out of range was half engulfed quickly becoming completely covered in fire. She couldn’t see anyone. Her whole body felt heavy with that as she stood up, her bindings torn apart in the force.

If her body was injured she couldn’t tell. Everything was numb. She just staggered around seeing flames everywhere around her rising a massive column. And then out of the flames ran a man, all of his clothes burnt away and half his body missing. There was just the white terror of his eyes staring at her until he collapsed steps later as the fire spread.

Sophia dropped to her knees. ‘I killed him…killed. Everyone? They’re all dead. What have I done?’ Tears fell down her cheeks as everything started to go blank in her mind. The heat cooked against her, but nothing registered anymore for her. She couldn’t move or think. The world disappeared.

She wanted to run. Nothing remained inside her. Her body was empty.

Then suddenly her body was shaking roughly. The world sharply returned to focus. She could hear again and even see the sun out.

“Sophia! Sophia, can you hear me?”

“Oh, it’s the Prince.” She stared up, finally seeing that he was knelt down looking at her. Even Tolen and Noan stood opposite of him trying to check on her. “Mister Tolen. Mister Noan is here too. Everyone…” Then flashes of the fires, the burning man, the destruction all came rushing back. “I…I killed them… What’s wrong with me?” Her words faded quickly from there, only barely staying focused.

The Prince didn’t even argue further with the knights and picked up Sophia. She leaned against his chest almost being rocked as he walked her away from the destruction. There was a calming rhythm to it even if it didn’t completely stop the shaking. She squeezed on to his shirt as the images came back in waves. She buried her face each time it made her remember the burnt man without a face.

It took a little bit for all of it to absorb into her again. She had a blanket wrapped around her. Once again, she was in a covered cart. She jerked back a little, it gave bad memories. But a strong hand held on to her. “Who is that?” She tried to look around, but didn’t see them clearly.

“You’re safe, Sophia. It’s just me, Henri. I took you away from everything. So you could have a quiet moment.”

“Prince Henri?”

“That’s right.” He came back around into view sitting across from her in the cart. “I’m sorry you were subjected to that. We’re still trying to figure out how they got past all of the guards.”

Looking completely hollowed out, she stared at the Prince. “Did anyone?” She looked at the floor of the cart before she could even finish the words.

“I have men searching, but the damage is vast. We’ve only found two bodies so far.”

“Two…” That only created worse images in her mind of what she did. “What’s wrong with me?” She looked pleading at the Prince.

He looked out the cover and down the road where smoke still rose. “All we saw was a massive pillar fire that stretched to the clouds. We rushed quickly once we saw that, but it was already too late. I know it may be hard for you, but can you tell me what happened?”

“There’s something wrong with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I killed someone! I killed several people! Right? There’s nothing left?”

He didn’t fully look at her when she asked. There was a long wait before he finally answered. “That seems to be the case. We reached you at sunrise. The couple of hours of searching didn’t find much that survived.”

“I knew it…I can’t be a Saint. This is wrong.” She clutched her head trying to bury herself in her knees.

The Prince rushed over to her side taking up her hand. It was a stable point that she hadn’t had for hours. “No, don’t think that for a moment, Sophia. You defended yourself. They kidnapped you and would have locked you away to be used for your magical power. They didn’t respect you as a person. You’re still you. A Saint.”

Sophia shook her head even if the words sounded nice. She knew what she was. “A Saint doesn’t kill people! I’m supposed to protect and save lives! Not take them!”

“Sophia!”

“You’re shouting again.”

He was surprisingly close to her holding both her hands. “Sorry, you were focusing on the wrong part again. Listen to me, Sophia. Are you hearing me?” She gave him a quick nod. “You were defending yourself. You have nothing to blame yourself for. They knew the risks as well. These weren’t innocent lives. It’s not the same thing to compare.”

“Okay.” Her voice came out weak, but accepting.

“I know it’s hard to accept. And I’m not asking you to ignore it or pretend it's good, but you were not in the wrong. There’s nothing wrong with you. If you believe anything I say, let it be that. You’re still the Saint. There isn’t a model to follow.”

“But the stories.”

“Are stories. You never had to be the same as every Saint in the past. Be the Saint that suits you. Be yourself. That’s when you’re at your best.”

There was an unusual warmth from him that she had seen from him before. It calmed her even with all of the horror that remained trapped in her mind, he made it almost feel bearable. “It’s weird seeing him smile.”

“Sorry for having a scary face.”

Sophia panicked and waved her hands breaking free from him. “N-no, I didn’t mean to say that outloud! I’m sorry, Your Highness!”

He only smiled a little wider with becoming a bit of a smirk. “Glad to see the Sophia I know back a little bit.”

“But I shouldn’t.”

“Don’t dwell in the emotions and sorrow. Something bad happened today, yes, but it’s not wrong to try to find a little light either. I miss seeing the glow about you.”

“That’s the magic Veil thing.”

He leaned in, tapping her on the forehead. “You glowed before you were the Saint. I haven’t had anyone like that since Alber.”

“I’m not your friend.”

“No, you’re not. And it’s a good thing too. A ghost would be a little terrifying.”

“I feel like one right now.”

“You are a little pale.”

“I thought you’re supposed to be cheering me up, Your Highness.”

He took a spot next to her sitting down. It was far closer than she was used to having the Prince. She tried to scoot away, but her body wasn’t really responding well to her. The blanket wrapped her up pretty well. “Are you still thinking about what happened?”

“Not really.”

“Then task complete.” He rested his head against the cloth of the covering. “Try and get some rest. We can talk more later.”

Sophia pulled up her legs and squeezed some on the blanket. She didn’t know if she could do that. But just being in silence away from everything sounded good. “I’ll try, Your Highness.”

“Just call me Henri, Sophia.”

“But I’m not supposed to.”

“You bled for me. Please.”

“I’ll try, Your Highness.”

“Henri.”

“I said I’d try.”

“Then perhaps now.”

She buried her head in the blanket. “You’re being mean again, Your Highness.”

“Henri.”

“You’re not going to stop.”

“I’m the mean First Prince of Eulire. What do you think?”

An exasperated sigh came out of her. “I sort of miss when he was cold.”

“Your thoughts are speaking.”

“I’m sorry.” She stopped herself before anything more went. Her body was too weak to argue with him.

“And?”

“You’re pushing it. You’re being a bully.”

“Fine. Get some rest, even if it’s not sleep, Sophia.”

“I’ll try.” His insistence surprised her. Manners and formality seemed to be exactly what he wanted from anyone around him. He was so rigid with her, until he started teasing her. ‘I don’t understand.’ But for all of the bickering they did, she could have a small grin. Even if it did feel wrong, he said it was okay. If he said it, then maybe it was true.

Maybe Henri was right.