Dream School, today?

Miteki Bless opened her eyes to white.

"Is it wrong… for me to want to cry every time I step into this place?"

Walking into the school was like walking into a brand new city. Everything was novel, new and excitingly polished, but at every turn there was a detail that would remind her of soiled memories from childhood.

They spilled over like spoilt milk within her.

From the shape of the lockers, to the spiralling stairs, to the sterile scents caused by the hardwork of underpaid janitors using push-bottles and overly-engineered chemicals.

The boards celebrating the accomplishments of the founders of the Wakabayashi school, two schools combined and separated by gender. Wakaba being the all-girl school. Ayashi being the all-boy school. The medias marketed it as Wakabyashi all-girl school, because quite frankly, the school had produced more media-present girl-geniuses than boy-geniuses.

Every morning, Miteki Bless would arrive at Wakaba district early for club meetings. She would never be the first, Student Council President Muraoka Rii came earlier. The perks of living closer to the school made it easier for her to manipulate the time she arrived and the time she absented.

Usually, anyone as competitive as Miteki Bless who aspired to be punctual and productive would turn heavily green with envy. Miteki however, felt that she should be grateful instead. In her purest opinion, Whale's Cove beat punctuality. In the first place, she'd been arriving before the school's official opening times. There was nothing else she needed to do.

Regardless, she figured if she arrived sooner she'd be a burden to Muraoka Rii. It was common knowledge that the president needed privacy while prepping up the clubroom and would become difficult if it was not respected. Nobody knew what she was doing in there and it didn't matter.

There were invisible rules to this too. The twins arriving would signal when Miteki Bless could enter.

Standings in the club weren't hovered with superficial politeness and mediocre tolerance, either.

They were cut-throat and publicly available, even the boys knew who stood where in the girl's council hierarchy.

Muraoka Rii was closest to the Kamiya twins as were the Kamiya twins to President Muraoka. Closest to this royal trio was of course, not Miteki Bless.

Uyehara Eme and Hosoo Higura had the same standing in their eyes, and thus, Miteki Bless liked to joke around that she was the zeroth place. The 0 of the student council, as, naturally, the three closest to the duo were the royal trio.

Even among students, Miteki Bless was not favored. Despite this, she'd head to the cafeteria in the middle of the school, shared by both genders, and greet the morning shift inspectors who did their jobs without much care, doing value-worth what they were paid. She wanted to grab more tea&coffee bags to refill the stock in the clubroom.

Her mornings at school were always quiet and boring. The halls were empty and her head was full of her thoughts. Sometimes painful memories would surface but she enjoyed the process of mindlessly doing things. Locking classes that should be locked, unlocking classes that should be unlocked, preparing to stock things, organizing the examination papers of her teachers (something she'd surely be scolded for)… clearing up love letters attached to lockers. A personal quest that was something she'd relentlessly been hated for, during a few weeks in the semester. She thought it would be embarrassing getting caught with a love letter attached to your locker, and would confiscate the love letters temporarily to hand them out for later.

Many people did not like this.

Once, she handed a love letter to a classmate, not knowing she was a magnet for attention after her… very explicit defenses of herself.

The classmate was red with fury, and had her tomato-face clicked and captured. Filmed as a record of doomed yuri.

The classmate very well punched her the next day, something the classmate admits she'd never done before. There were no explanations and she confused Miteki Bless further by bringing her new boyfriend, the one who sent the confession letter, bumping into her at lunchtime.

"Haha!"

She laughed like a villainess, arms wrapped around her boyfriend, she glared past the vignette of his neck and shoulder.

"Lesbian, don't send me a love letter again."

Miteki Bless: ??? Excuse me, would you have gotten together if it weren't for me?

"… Senior, have you not considered the implications that he snuck into the girl's district to pound that letter to your locker? Have you not considered that your boyfriend may be a pervert?"

The scene it caused was revolutionary, and Miteki Bless was known as a homewrecker for a few running weekends, at events she didn't know of, nor welcomed to.

Miteki Bless, yet, was no quitter. During her empty mornings, she'd fill up the space by investigating the boy's district as she is now, on this morning. When she saw that the girls were also the types to sneak into boy's districts to pigeon off love letters she had one thought. Shameless.

"Then, let me not protect their reputations. Perverts can be with perverts." She said this, not realizing she was the one doing the exact same thing.

From those days on, she stopped removing love letters from lockers. Those who expected her to keep up the work, especially the popular girls who would get them more than twice a week were shocked to see so many. It infuriated them and embarrassed them to a dirty sheep's rear end, messy.

It was easy to say it was Miteki's fault, easy to say it wasn't her fault. The people did not universally have the same likes and dislikes, she could not please everyone.

Muraoka Rii did. And could. She pleased everyone when she published a new rule.

The cafeteria would have bins on post where one could anonymously chuck in their love letters. The student council would deliver the letters, signing a contract stating they wouldn't be allowed to read the contents of the letters, as long as everyone wrote who the letter should be sent off to on the front of their tightly sealed envelopes.

Miteki Bless had a similar plan, but Muraoka Rii had written up during one of those empty mornings where she'd been restocking. Miteki Bless stood no chance against the ample amount of time Muraoka Rii had, and the limited tasks she could perform with received lashings to the back.

Miteki Bless left the Ayashi side, proud of herself. "There were ups and downs but my actions helped a little."

She would pat herself on the back at least 20 times for every couple she saw around the campus, knowing they could be part of her handiwork. It was these little things that made her world shine, her own initiatives changed things on a grand scale.

If she could do that… then she could be content. A self-indulgent hero.

The boys district could be entered through only a backdoor and the cafeteria. As she left, she was caught by the Kamiya twins.

She couldn't perceive it too well from a distance, but they seemed to be disgusted with her? She was confused, in a way to justify her doing patrols around the Ayashi side, she'd told them beforehand what she would be doing every morning.

Did they forget? No, because the twins had good memory. It could only be something else.

She picked up the pace. "Goodmorning seniors, you are here way too early?"

Kamiya Ketsuhiko towered over her twin, automatically making her the tallest within the conversation. Her voice wasn't too low and wasn't too high. It was a median, definitively in the middle.

In every interaction, something about Kamiya Ketsuhiko was ambiguous with no one being able to pinpoint what.

The way she looked at people.

The way she held her arms behind her head.

Her eyes blinking after ten sentences, never to be seen blinking again.

Kamiya Ketsuhiko's dyed blood red hair gave her the look of a blood prince, heir of a vampire race. Her current looks were too on the nose—or on the pricked finger—or on the plunged neck. Her movements were slow, as if she couldn't see herself moving faster than the world that surrounded her.

I know twins mirror each other, but isn't she acting uncannily similar to Ketsukira?

Or everyday… Is it the two of them switching roles, acting like the opposite sibling?

Her eyes were sharp, and her pupils gave off the feeling of an invisible slash cutting your body in half. Nothing about Kamiya Ketsuhiko made sense.

Or nothing about Kamiya Ketsukira made sense.

'Senseless.' Everyone saw Ketsuhiko this way.

A prince that should have many admirers, and a prince that should own the world along with its princesses. That of many, considered to be Muraoka Rii. Though, everyone understood the echelons perfectly well.

Nobody owned president Muraoka Rii—Muraoka Rii owned everyone.

Ketsuhiko was a pea to an elephant's foot when Muraoka Rii was in the question.

One character of her name was the elephant's foot, while her entire written name was the galaxy.

Against popular beliefs, Miteki Bless saw Kamiya Ketsuhiko as a normal girl. Red hair and a resting face that screamed get away. She felt Ketsuhiko was misunderstood, and that the definition prince was too little a definition to make her abide by.

To her, Kamiya Ketsuhiko was like the sun. Everyone knew it lit up their world, yet nobody stopped to talk about how it was a star waiting to destroy ecosystems that leeched off its energy.

"We need you."

"What for, Ketsuhiko-senpai?"

"Just come."

Kamiya Ketsukira found it funny. Even while Ketsuhiko spoke, the roach that was Miteki Bless still found ways to spread her focus onto her. She waved, not too interested.

That was all there was to that interaction.

The twins wouldn't have spoken again if Miteki wasn't treating their guidance like a job interview.

"You both are here earlier than usual. Did something urgent come up or were you two bored of your routine?"

"Bark. Bark. Bark. Bark." Kamiya Ketsukira's hand snapped open and shut, mimicking talking puppets. "All you do is bark, yes? Don't talk."

"Sen—"

"Shush! It's early in the morning."

Miteki Bless didn't know what to make of this. Everyone was being rude to her this morning. While that wasn't too uncommon, the rudeness was a reaction to her obnoxious actions. Here, she'd done nothing and it was from someone she'd least expected it from.

She noted it down immediately.

Today, Ketsukira isn't acting silently.

She is mimicking some form of Ketsuhiko, or at the very least, an imagined person.

Is it a cry for help?

Ah, it's still Ketsukira.

It's the same way a person can be lonely in a crowd. She's being loud and hiding her quieted pain behind it—she's as silent as she's always been.

I don't appreciate being the outlet, but I've been annoying her lately with all my prep talks.

It makes sense. It is littlest in the unexpected… as if I can predict this!

Berated… The feeling was school, exactly like school. Everything today was the usual, but it was brand new and didn't make much sense to her.

The conclusion Miteki came to after overthinking the Ketsuhiko and Ketsukira blind box: Did I get stupider?

Miteki got pushed into the clubroom, and pummeled down into the couch she sat on everyday.

She didn't wait to process anything.

Her habits took over, overdriving her decision making.

Miteki Bless leisurely slid open the drawer in front of her and took out her notebook.

She realized she could get unlawful anger directed at her for this, so she carefully put the notebook back in.

The Kamiya twins didn't speak.

Muraoka Rii didn't speak.

The only sound was Muraoka Rii behind the desk, spinning in her comfortable chair.

Her head perked up when Miteki Bless spoke up.

"Can I write in my notebook?"

The chair slowly stopped spinning. "Why are you asking me?"

"I don't want to be yelled at."

"No one yelled at you!" Kamiya Ketsukira said.

"…"

"You may, Miteki-san. We're all waiting for Higura-chan… Eme-chan! All you have to do is wait, wait, wait…" Muraoka Rii always spoke in a hypnotizing tone. Everyone assumed it was her subconscious intelligence expressing itself through her everyday activity.

She sent a gentle smile towards Miteki Bless and her eyes gave the illusion of looking straight at her.

But they looked at something much, much ahead, some deadly precision manifesting.

Kamiya Ketsukira took a step forward in jealousy, wanting to be the one thing Muraoka Rii looks at. Ketsuhiko tugged on Ketsukira's similarly-bleeding-the-color-red hair, successfully stopping her.

Meanwhile, Miteki Bless asked herself a very confused question. "What is Muraoka-senpai looking at?"

She followed her line of sight by shifting her side on the couch. Her eyes landed imperfectly on the door… Muraoka did not care about Miteki Bless after all. She was waiting for her friends to come along.

I don't feel like that's quite right.

There's nothing there.

Miteki Bless did not dwell on it. She had the go ahead to write in her notebook anyway.

She pulled it out and scribbled nonsense to test the ink on the pen.

'LisiLydieAmafuuDeath.'

Amazed with how smooth it looked, she approached with her eye very close to the liquid.

The drying happened before her eyes. Up close it looked beautiful. For such a small moment to her, the ink must've felt it was a very big moment for 'myself.'

It didn't take much time for Miteki's thoughts to come down like a river.

Her pen touched the paper, channeling her voice.

"This is the morning I realize, I'm friendless. These people don't care about me… I'm not sure how I've never realized it. I don't belong anywhere, I really don't know what to do. I wear my emotions out on my sleeve, I'm outspoken, I try and speak for what's right… I try my best to help people. What am I doing wrong? Ma is the only person that doesn't look at me with eyes that hold any other thing but love. The president won't look at me. The people on the train want me out of their lives, and my home is empty without ma. Ma might be the best thing in my life, really. It's okay, mom, I will continue being number one in the things I can be best at." Love, Miteki Bless.

These ramblings weren't structured properly.

They followed a pattern, but didn't follow each other.

It was hard to connect emotionally, they were glorified logs essentially.

She wrote one depressed thing inside every school day.

She didn't on the weekends, because she was home and she only wrote when she had negative thoughts, which were possible because of school.

It took her 15 minutes to sort through these thoughts. There was a lot she avoided writing, diving into them would cause her to cry. Crying around friends, now turned strangers, is a shame that would stick around up above her head for the rest of her life.

Tired of hearing scribbles and wheels turning, Kamiya Ketsukira incited Ketsuhiko to entertain her.

Ketsuhiko was bored herself, she had no obligations.

… The one person in the room she could upset the most was Miteki Bless.

Why not start a fight? That's the kind of drama Ketsukira loves.

Kamiya Ketsuhiko slithered, butt falling next to Miteki's on the couch.

Her sharp, phoenix eyes slowly blinked while making romantic eye contact with Miteki.

Miteki Bless was so sure she was blushing. She didn't hide her surprise. "Beautiful."

Buttering me up with such a look on her face… Eh!

Kamiya Ketsuhiko's laugh was regal and haughty, it left no room for any sort of objection and forced the room to know the laughter finds it amusing.

Miteki Bless thought Ketsuhiko was laughing at her and blushed harder, the heat even rising to her nose.

In reality, Ketsuhiko was incredulous. She was sure there was no genuity in Miteki's compliment, the blank face with its ghost cheeks had no sign of contentment or even affection. Miteki's eyes were those typical of such a situation—looking through her, at something that is not her.

What kind of idea do you have of me?

Perhaps, the Ketsuhiko that Bless knew was in another world away from this Ketsuhiko.

“Can I see what you’re writing? Gimme.”

At this moment, the question was filler, Kamiya Ketsuhiko’s spirit animal came out. It was a golden prince, prideful and domestically above, full of empty promises because it was fuller with grudges than the beautiful connections it was to have with another person. The golden prince… it was exactly alike Kamiya Ketsuhiko. There was bite, but it was refined and redone a million times to ensure poise. That meant, any action was not wasted and all action was rehearsed in some way. The bark was not there at all, threats weren’t threats. Threats were the past—after all, the threat would have already been enacted and turned into harm. The bite was a gold statue. Looming.

Miteki Bless tilted her head. Her eyelids drooped. Inherently, it was disappointment that Ketsuhiko was not trying to be close to her.

She quickly turned that thought around… No, Ketsuhiko is curious exactly because she wants to be close to me!

Instead of 0, maybe she could become 0.5?

Still, there lay several issues in giving Ketsuhiko the notebook.

“Senpai, I’m sorry but I do not feel comfortable giving you my journal.”

“How many times do I have to tell you? Don’t call me senpai.”

Don't call you senpai? Oh… She regretted writing those words.

Ketsukira-senpai was getting angry on Ketsuhiko-san's behalf, that's why she was yelling at me. It's truly nice to have someone care for you that way.

That's what I think, truly?

Act or not… They protect each other, I need to be aware of that.

The student council protects each other…

Then, nothing was different today. The punch must've altered her brain chemistry. She would get that checked out at the infirmary today.

“Ah, sorry, I've always believed it’s what you deserve to be called for the guidance you gave me. It is as you wish, Ketsuhiko-san." The original topic, out of the conversation already, was inside Miteki’s head as she said this.

She believed herself to be smiling. In reality, the smile was the lowest of lows, the barrel of barrels, the evaporation of evaporation, the barrenness of barren.

It was a nothing-smile that shushed the muscles of her face.

In other words, her smile was quiet and her joy couldn't journey its way up into her face.

The girls looked on at her, slightly unnerved by the vacant look in her eyes and the zombie-ish movements of her lips. They should’ve been used to it by now. Even Muraoka Rii, who had a gaze indistinguishable from Miteki's at times.

“You’re stiff,” Kamiya Ketsukira judged openly, her synchrony with Ketsuhiko on display. Their twin telepathy called for drama, and it also was the fastest way to get rid of the uncomfortable sweat dampening her mood. She became cooler after saying that, sighing in relief. “You know, perhaps you’ve put too much Botox inside your face?”

“…” Miteki Bless processed the question. There were many ways to reply to it, yet her emotions weren’t entirely there. She remembered her mother considering Botox, meanwhile she advised against it. A mishap happened, resulting in her confident mother suddenly having a fear of sterile scents. She never got that Botox and Miteki Bless believed it was a cover up for something much, much serious.

Her mother “secretly” burnt the medical reports in the courtyard by the meaty frogs. When that happened, she believed herself to be entirely correct, no matter how delusional she sounded.

She asked her mother if she was dying, and her mother said… “No, I’m not dying.”

Lost in procession, like a short-circuiting robot, it didn't register to her that all the student council members were here now.

Hosoo Higura leaned in the sliding door's doorway, holding one book in one hand while the other hand firmly pressed against Uyehara Eme.

Uyehara-san thanked Hosoo profusely, the hand around her waist helped her stabilize the chocolate strawberry cake she brought for the club members.

"Goodmorning, Miteki-chan."

"Goodmorning, Mite-chan."

The newcomers said alike. They talked on the phone with the twins and the president earlier, so there was no need or obligation to greet them with words.

Their gazes spoke millennials of adoration.

The president stood up and the girls gave each other a hug, Ketsukira called dibs, embracing her first. Muraoka didn't object and laughed, saying they had hugged already. Ketsukira moved out of the group hug and sulked.

Ketsuhiko stayed in her seating posture, lazily smiling like the prince she is. She was expecting Higura and Eme to bend down and hug her.

Hosoo Higura and Uyehara silently communicated with an evil gaze. They suppressed smiles and pretended to hug her per usual.

Hosoo Higura jabbed one side of Ketsuhiko's ribs, and Uyehara Eme jabbed the other side.

"Eek!" Kamiya Ketsuhiko jumped up from the couch and went to hide behind her twin. "Save me," she whispered.

"No!" Kamiya Ketsukira pushed her away. "You're so tall, they can reach past my head and grab you anyways!"

Everyone laughed. Once settled down, Uyehara Eme nudged Hosoo Higura to take a look at the spaced out Miteki Bless.

"Sure."

And so Uyehara asked, "Mite-chan, do you want a hug too?"

Usually Miteki would ask for one, this was her first time taking the initiative.

Am I going to get shanked?

Miteki Bless groaned, hearing her name for the second time.

“No, I’m not dying.” In her remembrance, she said this out loud in a daze.

It took awhile for Ketsukira's brain to catch up to the words. "Guys, she's saying she's gotten Botox before."

"She's gotten Botox?" Miteki Bless was the last person Uyehara Eme expected this from.

"…" Hosoo Higura had nothing conclusive to say, so she chose to remain somewhat silent. "Uhm."

Kamiya Ketsuhiko smirked under a pocket shadow in the room. She didn't have to do much to hide it.

“As your senior, kouhai.” Kamiya Ketsuhiko appealed to her facial expressions and made sure they looked extra condescending and disappointed. “You should… take a break from the Botox.”

The expression helped Miteki snap out of it.

She realized what she said a bit too late, and struggled to speak.

It was bad enough that she accidentally said her mother's words to her, but it was even worse that it was now being misconstrued.

Those evil, conniving words.

“Huh…? No, seriously... I’m not dying? I’ve never spoken about Botox.” She naively thought doubling down would save her hide.

Kamiya Ketsukira chimed in with more to say, “Yeah… hate to break it to you but you don’t need to say it. It’s obvious, I mean, everyone in the school knows you’ve gotten it. They’re too shy to say anything.”

Miteki truly pondered it, finding many flaws.

She noticed Hosoo Higura and Uyehara Eme looking at her skeptically now, with the president doing nothing to stop it.

Her focus shifted to the twins and their dark eyes.

… The notebook's coldness in her hands vividly sunk into her veins. Her blood was washed with a colder substance.

She shivered. It truly can't be the punch now.

"No one is my friend and they all insult and torment me when chances arrive. Are you sure shy can apply to them? Your free-thinking is absolutely wrong.”

She desperately wished they would prove her wrong after she said these words. She was jumping into the void, with these words aired out.

Kamiya Ketsukira raised the white flag, and her white pearls to boot. She hooted, unashamed. "Ah, you caught me! I lied! Can't have people believing our protagonist has be cosmetically altered."

I don't think I'm crazy.

Ketsukira is going out of her way to target me, and she usually never acts like this.

She's someone who doesn't put on airs, and is kind to me quietly.

Before she became suicidal, she'd flag me down at lunch to feed me her snacks.

Hand. Feed. Me.

I could consider her a friend still, if she kept trying to feed me everyday.

Unfortunately, that tradition stopped.

Something might've snapped and made her start… looking towards me less favorable?

"Protagonist? What's wrong with modifying your body?"

"Yeah?" Kamiya Ketsukira pretended to be confused, taking Miteki's words at face value. "Don't you think the world revolves around you and the like?"

"If anyone was the protagonist in this world, it would be my mother."

"Sure, sure." Ketsukira sat down on the couch opposite Bless. "Eme-chan asked you if you wanted a hug, answer her."

Ketsuhiko sat beside Ketsukira and did nothing outside staring at Miteki. The pressure was real.

"I…" It felt awkward to say yes, it felt awkward to say no.

…… many things happening at once, I'm overwhelmed.

Miteki Bless didn't know if she could handle being hugged by someone who had been looking at her with judgement not even a minute ago.

She closed her eyes to think hard, a sigh escaping against her will.

She heard a snort.

She shut her eyes tighter, wishing the pressure would glue them shut forever.

She finally came to terms with it.

These suicidal patients. Appease them.

"Yes," she outstretched her arms like a baby begging 'up, mama.' "Please give me a hug."

Her eyes twinkled, involuntary tears peeking out. The were the kind that weren't really seen, yet the kind that could be felt.

Everyone saw that Miteki's dead eyes had a sudden sparkle in them. She needed this hug.

What she didn't know is, saying yes would mean receiving a hug from Hosoo Higura as well.

Outstretching her arms doomed her, it blocked Higura from giving her hug at the same time as Eme.

Uyehara Eme tightly embraced her, Miteki Bless let out the quiet hum of a hiccup.

Her teeth chattering, her skin heating up.

She never imagined Uyehara would scoot over and let Hosoo hug her, her eyes centered on her intently.

She flinched. It was more of a freak out, and she ended up falling into the embrace. Her wet eyelashes gnashing against Hosoo's neck, who then laughed at the teasing sensation. The vibrations flowed into Miteki Bless and the tears really started to flow.

Her body trembled terribly once Uyehara Eme joined the hug, realizing she didn't need to stop at one.

Miteki Bless bit her lips, feeling wronged.

I'm too sensitive.

They parted ways, and sat, sandwiching on both of her sides.

The warmth didn't fully leave.

Her vision blurry, she couldn't fully classify the blob in front of her as the student council president.

She bent down and scooped her into her arms, despite them being the same height and the same weight, her body flowed up like the cotton of dandelions and melted into Muraoka Rii's embrace.

"I have always wanted to hug you." Muraoka's breathy whisper caresssed her skin.

She didn't have to ask why.

"Because you've helped me, so, so much."

…?

I'm going crazy.

What about today is normal?

The 180 behaviors of everyone… even in the train.

Am I supposed to believe the dumb culture I've been jokingly calling a disease is real?

She moved her head away, still holding up the embrace.

She made sure Miteki Bless could look into her eyes and see how intoxicated they were.

Nothing like the empty look she gave the door. These eyes were full and the color of plums.

Those were not rotten.

They were pretty.

"Come kill yourself with me."