A Silly Fortune-Teller

A boy passed by, sparing only a glance for me at first. With a beckon, I managed to divide his attention from the other “salesmen”.

“Be careful, mind your manners. It shall be tearful, beware the aanders.”, I told the boy. “What’s an aander”?, he stopped and asked. “You will know when the time is right”, I said.

This exchange was no different from the hundreds of others that had occurred before it. Most simply looked at me like I was crazy. I wouldn’t contradict them. But some, they listened. Heeded my warnings. Sometimes, nothing happened. Sometimes, something did.

That was when I got my reward. Those people, they were grateful. They would come back to me. Give me gifts, sometimes a share of treasure. I had no way of knowing if they truly were in danger, but if I “warned” enough people, the odds would eventually end up in my favour.

Something inevitably happened to someone. When that happened, I wasn’t crazy anymore, not to them. Of course I would get found out eventually. That was when I moved on, hoping for more gullible victims. Our planet is a large thing, and there are plenty of places where no one has heard of you.

Still, the reward was not why I did it. I did it because it was fun. That was all. No more, no less. Seeing the dumbfounded expressions on people's faces, sometimes hearing about how someone being too vary led to their demise. That was fun. A simple pleasure for sure, but also so enjoyable.

Over time, I had gotten better at telling the heroes and the nobody’s apart. Almost magically, my warnings had also started to come true. Funny thing is, they always realised too late. I never intended for such a thing, but it happened all the same. I did not mind.

With experience, I managed to act more believable. To progress from “You will die” or “Your cheese is poisoned” to poems, rhymes. The kind of things people associate with prophecy.

Things somehow started to happen the way I wanted them to one day, almost as if the magic of those I assisted had passed on to me. Ever since, many fewer returned. I got rewarded less often, but could also make sure I had enough. The other times? Then, I had fun.

I realised that the boy still was staring. He pointed behind me, eyes open as if in awe. There stood my previous victim. The man that should have been, at least. He opened his mouth, and the sound of an amateurish poem just like my own emerged.

“I am truly proficient, my sword entirely magnificent. I cannot lie, and you will now die.”

I knew it. That was it. The end.

Nah. I simply ran away, never to show my face in the area again.