Miho the girlfailure

Hello, name's Miho. Miho Kawakawabaka. I'm a girlfailure. Flunked school, live on my own in a cramped apartment on limited funds, somehow still have a good figure, though maybe it's because I barely have enough money to actually eat shit. My wardrobe consists of sweats, t-shirts, sweats, t-shirts... yeah. My hair's always a mess, so I just tie it up in buns n' shit to try and hide the bedhead since I don't get how brushes work... some days. Otherwise, I just let it droop in all its messy inglory.

Oh and speaking of work... ... I get some money for liking and glazing certain social media accounts... At least I can do that, OK! Then there's my sister, Misa. She's my older twin and a girlsuccess. High-paying job, beautiful, smart, even has a cool nickname she always uses. I guess our purpose was to be opposites.

Today's agenda? Watching TV, er, phone TV. I can't afford a TV set. Phone has more shit on it anyway.

Rumble!

My diet consists of sweat water, and whatever the stores markdown under 200 yen. That means I'm always making trips to the store each night for dinner. Eh, probably how I keep in shape.

Sliding my feet into my sneakers, I was out the door and trotting along to the store chugging sweat water all the way. I bet at a glance folks just think I'm some cute jogger and not some NEET. That, or maybe a perverted jogger as I don't wear bras and with my breasts so big... yeah, they jiggle... a lot...

Hey, it can count as attraction! I get hitched, I can mooch off a rich simp for life!

Reaching the store, I snagged my usual marked down meals and sweat water. Oh, and one of those frozen smoothie things. That meant waiting at the machine for it to make the shit since, yeah, you kind of have to get these things made here.

After a chug, I was back on my way home, however as I walked, some sedan pulled up next to me, and next thing I knew, men in suits were grabbing me and shoving me in. Then... I was... sleepy...

...

When I awoke, I found myself staring at a bunch of guys in suits in some warehouse... WAIT!

"MMPH NGH- MMPH!?"

I can't talk, and my wrists and ankles are tied!? I... I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED! 

"Ah, she does sound cute gagged, almost like it's Misa herself," a hot guy with short spiky silver hair and a tattoo of a skull face running down half his face cooed as he brushed his hand against my face.

So soft, and he sounds so feminine... Ngh, I know I'm kidnapped, but by a hot badboy? Ngh, I... I kinda don't mind..."

"Tilda, don't play with her. We need her cooperation," a woman with long black hair glared as she adjusted her glasses.

The hot guy chuckled and pulled out his phone. "Misa... can I get an "I love you"?"

"Mmph ngh mmph [I love you]!" I moaned.

The black-haired woman slapped the hot guy in an instant before standing before me and ripping the tape off my mouth.

"OW! THAT HURT!"

"Haven't you ever been waxed before? This is nothing like it," the woman scoffed. "Tilda, is your damn phone no longer recording?"

"Yes, yes," Tilda grumbled as he picked himself up and flashed his phone to the woman.

"Now then, Miho Kawakawabaka... You're the twin sister of Murasaki Misa, birth name: Misa Kawakawabaka."

"Y- Yeah?" I trembled.

"We're from the University of ancient history and artifacts in Maryland. We work closely with Misa, however, following an excursion in South America, she's disappeared."

"What?"

"She went inside some underground pyramid, never came out. Ah, and we lost track of her on the GPS. So yeah... she got fucked up," Tilda smirked.

I began to go pale. "No... Misa's-"

"-Mummified."

"Huh?"

"Considering we got a ransom note in ancient text, leading theory is that the Tribe of the Fog is still around, or at the very least, their ghosts are, meaning Misa's probably all wrapped up n' crying desperately calling for her knight to carry her out n' kiss her." 

"The what of what?"

"The tribe of Fog was an ancient Aztec-like civilization in South America. They were said to kidnap and scalp them before mummifying them alive and locking them away in a dungeon while said woman slowly starves to death mummified in gelatinous bandages, unless someone was able to ante up some rare stones," the black-haired woman scowled.

"Uh, scalp?" 

"Tch, to violently shave their head." 

"M- MISA'S BALD!?"

"Probably. Gets your heart racing, huh? A stoic cutie like her all smooth, shiny, n' hairless. I really wanna slap that smooth head of hers n' hear her-"

"AHEM! Tilda, do not thirst over Misa," the black-haired woman glared.

"But she's my girlfriend, meaning Miho here's gonna be my girl now," Tilda pouted as he made a smoochy face.

My heart thumped. "M- Misa's boyfriend?"

"Hmmm?" Tilda mischievously smiled.

I tilted my head in confusion.

"Girl, you not see the tits? I'm a girl," Tilda giggled.

I blinked my eyes rapidly.

"Yes, despite her boyish appearance and fashion sense, Tilda is a girl," the black-haired woman sighed.

My body began trembling. "M- MISA WAS INTO GIRLS!?"

"No, Tilda's just a playgirl. One with unsavory habits," the black-haired woman snarled.

"Hey, tying her up was necessary to keep her from running off until we get her on the submission vibe," Tilda grinned.

"Sub- What!?"

The black-haired woman let out a heavy sigh. "I wanted to present this calmly, but Tilda ruined things. Miho Kawakawabaka, until we're able to free Misa, you are Murasaki Misa."

"Heh?"