Things We Almost Say

I knew Xavier’s smile well enough to recognize it even through the blood fervor.

It appeared just as the last heartbeat slowed to a stop beneath us—a slight curve of his mouth, a gleam in his eyes. Crimson ribbons traversed the length of his neck and disappeared beneath the open collar of his shirt. During a hunt, most things became difficult to remember. Names. Rules. The reason we had left the mansion in the first place.

My brother was never one of them.

He stood and stepped toward me, cradling my face between his hands. His thumb brushed my earlobe.

“Brother, look at the mess you’ve made” he whispered before he lowered his mouth to the puddle that pooled in the curve of my collarbone.

I grabbed the collar of his shirt and lifted him a foot off the ground.

“Don’t treat me like a child; I am your elder!”

His grin twisted further

“A mere six hours earlier than me!”

“Six very important hours!”

I tightened my hold just enough to wipe the smugness from his face—or tried to. Xavier merely wrapped his fingers around my wrist and eased my hand away; fingers laced with mine.

“You want respect Ezra?” he pulled my body tightly against his “Then earn it!”

Our gaze didn’t wander and for a moment, neither of us dared move. As his grip tightened, I could feel the familiar electric current as it travelled up my arm.

We are brothers; however, we belong to different bloodlines, born to different mothers in houses that had little reason to trust each other. My mother, Elizabeth, a lady in waiting, had died bringing me into the world, leaving me in the care of Queen Hinata, Xavier’s mother. Not a single member of the Shroud knew that we were not brothers by blood, but only that they were not identical. Our birthday would likely go unnoticed, celebrated on small scale as we would evade tradition.

Within the Obsidian Shroud, women ruled, and bloodlines mattered more than affection. A queen could take as many lovers as she pleased. Twins were common among her descendants, but identical sons faced a particular fate. On the night of their eighteenth birthday, they are required to fight in the Lineage Extension Ritual. One son, destined to survive, to stand beside the Queen and continue his line with the daughters of the Shroud. The other son ceased to exist and would not leave the battlefield.

Tomorrow, we would turn eighteen.

We arrived home well after midnight, just before dawn, drenched in blood and laughing loudly through the empty corridors. It was our third hunt that week.

In the gallery, he stopped me with a hand at my waist. He reached up and threaded his fingers through my black hair, taking grip of it at the nape. Xavier’s expression softened.

“You know I care deeply for you right? More than I should and more than I’d admit to anyone, but the things I would do for you are endless. Forever I am yours, and you are mine.”

The words carried through my mind like honey, thick and warm. Perhaps because I had spent the night feeling his pulse from across the room and reminding myself that he was here. I rested my forehead against his.

I lifted my hand to meet his face and tucked a loose white tendril behind his ear, taking my time.

“You don’t have to prove that to me.”

“I know.”

His gaze dropped to my mouth, and he bit his bottom lip.

I tilted his chin and he leaned closer—

When Hinata, Queen of the Shroud, burst through the gallery doors already in an uproar.

“And just where in the hell have you two been? I’ve been preparing for your party since yesterday and you have the gall to mosey in covered in blood, looking a mess before your Queen?”

We sprang apart.

Her heels struck the marble as she approached.

“What do you have to say for yourselves?” She demanded.

“We were hungry?” Xavier was the first to speak, taking a risk as always. The Queen shot him a look; brow furrowed in frustration. I snickered.

“What he means,” I said, stepping forward, “is we’re sorry. We should have been here to assist you.”

I glared at him, hinting that the situation had become dangerous and to keep his mouth shut.

Waving us off with her finger, Hinata turned away. “As you were, go clean yourselves and get ready for tomorrows festivities. Although nothing like the Lineage Extension Ball, you will still be expected to show face and entertain the Obsidian Shroud nonetheless.”

“Yes, M ’Lady” we answered.

She turned and disappeared into the darkness of the corridor.

I waited until her footsteps faded before taking Xavier’s wrist.

“Hungry?” I pulled him toward the spiral staircase.

“It was the truth.”

“You might try a less irritating truth next time.”

“You laughed. Couldn’t have been that irritating”

“I nearly watched you get murdered.”

By the time we reached the upper floor, we were both laughing from shared banter.

I was the first to hop in the shower and as the steam clouded the glass, I could hear his footsteps. There was a heaviness in the air, a palpable tension as I felt Xavier’s eyes lingering on me a moment to long.

“You know Xavier? You could have anyone you want from the Obsidian Shroud.” I paused, listening to the loofah spread a thick creamy lather on his skin, a sighed echoed against the walls.

“Anyone? Do you want just anyone dear brother?” His response came quickly, dripping with sass.

“I’ve had my eye on someone for as long as I can remember, but my longing has grown to a point that my sense of self control waivers.” I waited for another snap response.

Silence. He turned off the shower, and I could hear the opening of the glass shower door. The same footsteps made their way across the room. Xavier’s hand reached in through the door he’d left ajar and a finger traced a water droplet down my back. I could feel that electricity again, sending shivers down my spine, before abruptly disconnecting.

“Heh… I like it when you’re out of control.”

He shut the light off on his way out and I couldn’t see shit. He was always like this. A prankster and a tease.

***

October 30th.

Our birthday.

The day we were made for one another, though separated by complications and secrets.

It was nearly 8pm when I felt the covers being ripped from my body. Xavier stood over me, grinning while still grasping the sheet.

“Damn Ezra, have you been working out in your sleep? Tasty…” He winked and walked over the armoire we shared.

He often picked out my clothes, with a penchant for fashion, it was second nature to him. For himself he chose a royal blue suit coat, the cuffs and collar embroidered with gold, perfectly shined buttons to match. For me he selected a dark grey suit coat, with similar embroidery in silver, my undervest in crimson red. As we dressed next to each other it was hard not to sneak glances at his perfectly sculpted muscles. Tempting though he is, I still held myself back, unsure of why.

Xavier straightened, tightening the black silk tie before turning to tie mine. I was slow and he was impatient

“What would you do without me Ezra?” He asked staring deeply into my eyes.

“I hope I never have to find out.” I adjusted my coat and applied my mother’s watch to my coat, slipping the face in my pocket.

We were to be downstairs in the gallery at 10pm sharp and not a moment later or Hinata would have our heads. We made our way down the hallway towards the spiral staircase to the Gallery and could hear the Shroud-members below. Before I knew it, Xavier had used his boy to push me into the dark corner to the left of the staircase. I could feel his waist pushing me into the wall as he gently kissed up my neck until our eyes met his hand to my cheek.

“Ezra?” it felt like a question. “I’m going to kiss you now.” He whispered.

I nodded quickly as I felt his lips meet mine.

I had waited so long for this moment, and it was over before I could even process what was happening – he pulled away slowly.

“We’re 18 now, by the hands of the clock. Run away with me, we’ll make a new life together where we don’t have to pretend to be brothers.” A tear spilled down his cheek. “I cannot live my life without you at my side, we will hide away where my mother can never find us!”

I chuckled in disbelief at his words. “Xavier, you can’t be serious? You’re the prince!”

“I’ve never been more serious, and you know I am not a serious man!” he quipped.

“I need time to think! My mind is spinning and my thoughts are racing!” sweat dripped from my hairline into my shirt. “Why today of all days? Why did we have to have this conversation and here at this moment of all places?”

“It’s now or never I suppose, right?”

“I’ll give you an answer at midnight and no sooner!” I knew my answer would be yes, but still I needed a moment to gather myself and think. “Meet me back in our room then!”

“That’s fair, you’ll say yes anyway!” he turned, heading back into the light at the top of the stairs.

I followed suit.

What neither of us had noticed, too caught up in the heat of the moment, was the Queens lady in waiting, hiding just behind the door in the parlour next to the stairs. She would make her way quickly to Hinata and tell her everything that she had overheard. The evening was just getting started and what was meant to be an uneventful soiree was about to turn sour.