Round 1, Match 6: Apocalypse Molcar vs Workaholic. Apocalypse Molcar:

Round 1, Match 6: Apocalypse Molcar vs Workaholic.

Prompt: We must eat to survive

Participant: Apocalypse Molcar (https://www.honeyfeed.fm/u/6476)

Hello, reader! Today… we are going to avoid the subject of vore entirely. No, really.

The law of the jungle. Survival of the fittest. The eternal, shining law of the strong eating the weak. That is the unchanging truth of nature…

Dr. Paddywhack was the best there was in a secret field that nobody had ever heard of… that of transposing various creatures around different positions in the food chain. He loved to go on and on about how he had experimented on monkeys, elephants, lions, zebras, and all other sorts of animals that could pad the word count.

But one day, he had the incredible idea to transpose humans… so that they could only eat deep ocean anaerobic bacteria.

Once he tried to publish it, nobody would believe that freak report. But it was verified, and fact-checked. It was true! He was promptly arrested…

But the boy born of that experiment… Bob… he was scarred for life. Not only psychologically, but also by the red goat pentagram marks that sciento-satanic ritual had left on him. He was just a little baby when the evil scientist kidnapped him for that detestable purpose.

But still… he wished to survive.

He had to dive.

First, he got into Choumi Diving school. He was an outcast who did nothing but study… the unchanging ways of the Diver Warriors. Not for Justice, not for the money to feed a sickly relative of the female sex, not even for being sickly in love with the female sex, but just to fucking eat.

Every night he’d have to sneak out from his dorm, shaking, and surreptitiously steal a diving suit just so that he wouldn’t die of sheer hunger…

What a terrible existence!

Thankfully, the unfortunate soul was able to graduate early. He was the top of class. No little bitch would ever dare say shit to him.

Now that he was a Diver Warrior, only one thing was left.

REVENGE!!!!

Normally, everyone would use the same sort of generic diving gear. But not Bob. He used the income that he definitely didn’t need for a sickly relative, and instead bought cybernetic diving implants.

That guy didn’t even need a suit anymore! He dived just as he was, no different than how he’d sleep (butt-naked).

He was invincible… so long as the fight was underwater.

The only problem was that Dr. Paddywhack’s prison… was above ground, obviously.

So Bob began his plan… his journey… how to get Dr. Paddywhack out of there? He had been sentenced to eternal confinement.

It turns out, there were rumors of a lost underwater city of Atlantis….

Perhaps if he could find it… and perhaps if it could establish diplomatic relations with Japan… and perhaps if those diplomatic relations could lead to the extradition of that man to an Atlantean prison…

Yeah. Not only did he need to find Atlantis, he also needed to fake a similar experiment there… so that Dr. Paddywhack could be framed!

Alas, the ways of revenge always tend to lead to perverse results…

Bob dove every day and every night. He’d hardly see the world above water anymore. He was no longer human… a byo-cyborg anaerobic deep ocean alga himself.

Still… at least he found Atlantis!

Introducing himself as the Prime Minister of Japan, he was able to get them to play straight into his hands… after all, the language barrier was too great. If you weebs can’t learn Japanese with all the English resources out there, you think some isolated long-lost civilization of some 2 million inhabitants can? Bob alone had his especially commissioned universal translator ear-implant that he stole from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

And so it was….

The day had finally come! Dr. Paddywhack was to be extradited for all the bird-eating people that had been transmuted to Atlantis. Bob had become a monster… but he was taking the monster down with him!

Near the domed entrance of that country, as the submarine with a Japanese flag came near with its flashlight pointing forward…

Bob was behind, lurking in the darkness. Craawling iiiin my skiiiin….

Unsheathing his cyber-bio-socially stunted ninja katana implant, he started slicing at it.

The people inside were left in horror. They knew that was the end. They were going to die! Their entire existence, brought to nothing. In the most painful way, too. The mere thought of drowning to death was sufficient to strike fear in the hearts of all of them.

The sound of that blade striking against Japanese submarine steel, folded over a thousand times, eventually was entirely drowned itself… but the deafening noises of the ocean that was flowing inside.

It was over… for all of them.

Hugging each other in their final moments, they cried… watching one another as they’d struggle to stay afloat. Then, pushing down their fellows to stay alive themselves. The law of the strongest to survive… One by one…

The slashes had long stopped, though… whatever could have happened?

…

Dr. Paddywhack, who had a special mech suit, was already way up above, swimming to the surface. He did not know what had happened, but he wasn’t going to wait to find out.

Of course, he saw the bloody red electro-eyes flashing up ahead. That was the last thing he’d ever see.

“Autopsy Report: Dr. Paddywhack has been declared dead by a thousand very edgy cuts. Most likely cause… some sort of swordfish?”

…

Weeks had passed. Bob had gotten away with it! But what now? He was some hideous sea-faring cyber-abomination…

Still… he hadn’t lost his humanity! He knew what he had done was wrong… With that last spark of sanity, or rather the quite literal electrical spark of his katana, he was ready for the end.

He remembered that fateful day… a poor little kidnapped kid…

That anger was enough for him… enough to drive that blade through his chest.

Goodbye, world. Adios, and saraba…

And then he ate himself.

His sickly sister mourned for his death.

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Judge's Feedback

znf: Kinda dank, interesting opening, confusing second half. Why is everything center-justified? Kinda goes off the rails and flails around senselessly in the second half, and I don't think in a good way. Too many internet memes.

OscarHM: What does this have to do with the prompt? Everything seems aimless, not in a good way. It seems less like a story and more like a bunch of random paragraphs with very little connection. If it's meant to be a shitpost, it wasn't particularly funny, again things just come across as too random.

otkrlj: felt like he had a good twist on the prompt, but it sort of fell flat for me. the jokes were very hit or miss, and I found myself rereading several times double checking what I read- in a bad way