Chapter 1

“It will be a pleasure to work with you, Captain.”

The girl beamed, watching me with her puppy-dog eyes, and I sighed, leaned back into the hard plastic chair in the cafeteria, and glanced once again at the holoscreen flickering between us on the table. I knew it would not give me a solution to this mess, but at least it gave me an excuse not to meet those eyes that felt so familiar, even if I’d only met her today. Her eyes… I shook my head and kept scrolling in a failed attempt to send her home or to wherever she came from.

The IPA site was a mess, but the endless scrolling at least confirmed that I had opened a spot to take on an apprentice on Rusty, and I was somehow supposed to teach them everything they would need to pass their N-2. Crap… But I could only blame myself. It had made sense when I did it. A 5% discount on docking fees in exchange for me switching the toggle on my profile to ‘available’ had seemed appealing at the time, and I never imagined that anyone with any sort of common sense would want to spend a year of their life on a decommissioned UT-400, hauling cargo in the outer ring. Until now...

I glanced at her, and her deep emerald eyes watched me intently as if she had waited all this time to get a chance to do just that. Common sense, huh… Her cheap orange jumpsuit was ill-fitting and still showed stiff creases as if it had just been pulled out of the box, which, come to think of it, probably was the case. At least I would get paid for it, I tried to tell myself, but that didn’t take away the dread of sharing the cramped space on Rusty with someone, especially with her, watching me as she did now… Those eyes… They felt so familiar… They reminded me of… I shook my head and put my half-eaten meal back on the plastic tray just to give my mind something to do and distract myself from the thoughts that tried to find their way in.

“Let’s go…”

I got up, took my holo display and stuffed it into my bag. What was her name? Something on V… Venice, Vera…? I’d always been crap at remembering names, but with just the two of us, I probably wouldn't need it, so there was nothing to worry about. I could always call her a cadet or something if I really needed to. She got up and followed me out the door, adjusting her pace to walk next to me. I somehow found it comforting and annoying at the same time, used to being alone, even though I’d never managed to quench the loneliness that had filled my chest for as long as I could remember.

“So… What do you want to do after your N-1?”

I tried the safest question I could come up with from all of the ones rushing through my mind as we made our way through the commercial zone, its glass-like walls flashing with ads for everything that the highport at Glaven had to offer as we wove through the bustling crowd towards the docks. She didn’t answer. I wondered if it was the marvel of seeing the station that kept her quiet. It must be her first time up here. Great… How had she even managed to sign up for IPA training? Didn’t they require N-4 or something? I sighed. It was obvious to me, and to anyone who would bother to look, that she didn’t belong here, and for everyone’s sake, she should take a lift or a shuttle down before she regretted listening to her dreams about a space adventure. I glanced at her, and she turned to look at me, as if waiting for the chance, and fear suddenly seeped through my chest as a strange longing gripped my heart. She smiled.

“I wanted to see the stars…” she answered.

“Stars…?”

I blinked, fiddling with my bag in search of our pass as we slowly approached customs.

“Don’t you dream about the stars… and what lies beyond?” she asked.

I felt her eyes on me as she waited for my answer, as if it was the most important question she’d ever asked. I shrugged.

“I don’t remember my dreams…” I murmured, almost to myself, and tried to smile as I added, “But I probably dream about fuel prices, bonuses and good contracts waiting for me in the next starport.”

It didn’t take long to pass through customs, it was all automatic. After the war, Galve had built a new modern starport to facilitate trade. What wouldn’t I give for some old naval officer rambling about their time in the navy as they tried to process my papers, giving my mind a chance to escape from her eyes? We entered the docks, and as the heavy reinforced door closed behind us, I somehow managed to relax despite her almost bumping into me as I halted in front of the terminal and scrolled through the diagnostics and refuelling reports before signing in my cargo and paying the docking fees.

Was the 5% off really worth it?

“It must be sad not to dream… Don’t you miss it?” she asked.

No, it wasn't. I was sure of it… This would be a long journey…

I shrugged and tried to smile.

“You don’t miss something you don’t remember.”

“You do… Deep down you always remember.”

She gave me a sad smile and stepped closer, her emerald eyes staring into mine.

Did I…?

I blinked and stepped away, trying to muster anger, but somehow I couldn’t bring myself to it. She looked so familiar…

“Have we met before?” I hesitantly asked, daring to look into her eyes.

“Do you remember it?”

She beamed and tried to reach out, but I shook my head and shrugged.

“Just asking.”

She stared at the ground, and I pulled my card from the terminal.

“Let’s go to the ship. I will show you around before we take off.”

I said the most obvious thing I could come up with, feeling I couldn't bear to let silence fall between us.

Anyway, wasn’t I supposed to teach her something for her exam…?

I gave her a tour of the ship. There wasn’t really much to show. A cockpit with two worn-out seats surrounded by old IC consoles, a small living space with a built-in kitchen that somehow, through the years, had become storage for spare parts, since the main one in the engine room was filled to the brim, and the cabin she would stay in that had also been used as storage until recently, but at least I’d managed to clean it before her arrival, moving all the stuff to wherever I found a place for it, so it mostly ended up in my cabin, leaving me with just enough space to make my way from the door to my bunk. I really hoped I would not need to do an atmospheric entry anytime soon, or the mess created by it would turn my room absolutely unusable.

She stayed close, listening to my explanations, but I could tell that her mind was somewhere else. Great… Wasn’t she supposed to be learning? Why had she signed up to fly with me from all the people? Getting an internship in IPA wasn’t that difficult, and I was sure there were a tonne of more promising posts than mine.

“Monika…?”

I froze as she called my name. It felt so strange and yet somehow familiar. No one had called me that in years, always referring to me as Captain or Rusty, like my ship. I slowly turned to face her. She stood between the towering shelves full of boxes and packages containing vital components that kept Rusty operational, fiddling with the spare jumpsuit I’d given her as she tried to put it on.

Yeah, it was old and stained with oil, but at least it worked, and it would keep her safe, not like the crap that used fancy InstantSeals. It made it really easy to put the suit on and equally easy to depressurise it by mistake. I sighed and walked over to her, undoing the clips at her waist when my eyes fell on the strange emerald stone resting on her chest. It hung around her neck with a thick silver chain that fused into an intricate encasement holding the gem.

“It’s my dreamstone.”

She smiled, answering my unasked question. Her eyes carefully followed my hands as I adjusted the suit around her.

“A dreamstone?” I asked.

Was that some sort of new fashion from the core systems that I’d missed? I never cared about such things, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that were the case, but somehow... It looked so familiar, and for a moment I remembered feeling its weight resting on my chest. It was heavier than it looked and surprisingly warm when it rested against my bare skin…

“It lets you weave the Dream.”

I felt her soft voice stirring something in me. An old memory I’d forgotten I once had.

Did you really not miss something you couldn’t remember? For a moment I wasn't sure… But if the memory was so precious… How could someone forget it…?

We sat on the sofa in the living space, but I couldn't remember how we got there. Two plastic mugs stood half-empty on the small metal table, next to an open can of crackers. Had we come here after the tour? I guess… I tried to shrug the strange uneasiness occupying my chest, but the movement only made it worse. Crap… I hope it would pass soon. In deep space, the mind always played tricks on you, and after so many years of flying alone, I’d almost got used to it. Almost… As long as it didn’t put Rusty in danger, I didn’t mind it that much, and the only inconvenience was that I’d had to register my ship in a place that didn’t require any rigorous medical check from their pilots.

But this somehow felt different…

I reached out and picked up my mug in the hopes that the distraction would put my mind at ease and dispel the forgotten memories that tried to find their way in. It was still warm. I took a sip of the tea and glanced at her. What was her name again… Violet… Vicky…? Something like that… I couldn’t remember. I was always crap with names…

“We can take off at any time. The ship is ready,” I said, fidgeting with the mug.

I didn’t mind changing our departure time, even if it would cost me a few credits, just to be on the move and have something to focus on for a while, something other than her emerald eyes and soft smile that followed me whenever I dared to close my eyes… She smiled and nodded, her dreamstone swaying on the chain suspended from her outstretched hand. Somehow I knew it was warm and soft. It always was, no matter how cold the dark void of space was, as we travelled between the stars together… Emerald gems swivelled at the edges of my vision as her eyes stared into mine…