LXXXVII | Affection

❦

She can't see you,
the cat says.

Obviously.

I know that.
If she could,
I wouldn't comfort her.

Since she's always been cold
to me.

I stumble
and pass through Aspen's leg
on my way to the door.

I want to leave.

The world
blurs like an unfocused video.

I blink,
stand up.

I'm in school now,
standing with the cat
under the rowan tree.

The national anthem plays
in the distance.

School is starting.

I follow the cat
into my classroom.

I'm there,
sitting on Kumar's table

staring into the distance
while he talks
animatedly

to Ming who ignores me.

I notice
Ming's eyes

occasionally

flicker up
at me
then to Kumar

where they stay.

Rowan's not in the classroom.

This is tomorrow,
the cat says.

I am about to ask
how this is supposed to work

since it's still today.

Rowan walks into class
quietly

with her usual
expressionless
expression.

There's no trace
of her meltdown

last night.

She takes out her notes,
prepares her table.

Her hands shake.

Clyde
(the me who is watching her
from the corner of my eye)
can't see that.

Class starts,
but Rowan

doesn't write notes.

Her fists clench
and unclench uselessly.

Her palms are red.

What's wrong with her?
I ask the cat.

But it's a cat.
It doesn't ever give a useful answer.

What do you think?

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