C | Abyss

❦

We've stare at the hole in the ground
my friends disappeared into

for a long time.

'I'll walk you home,'
I tell Rowan.

I don't let go of her hand.

Mr. Ahmad climbs onto my shoulder,
stays perched there like a bird.

You did well,
its voice unusually loud
in my ear.

A side glance.
'How nice of you.'

We follow the winding paths
through the park.

The shadows on Rowan's face
morph and change

as we pass by the streetlights
keeping watch
on each side of the pavement.

'What's wrong?'
Rowan asks without looking.

'What if...'

Silence.

I don't know
whether to say it.

'Just, what if,
'the golden city we saw
'that first day we met

'isn't real?'

The cat purrs.

Its weight warm
on my shoulder.

'What if Jerry is right,
'and beyond this world
'there's nothing.

'Just nothing.
'And death is really the end.'

Rowan doesn't reply.
Neither does the cat.

We walk most of the way
in easy silence

that I forget
I asked this,

that she hasn't replied.

We reach
the dark glass doors
of the nameless chicken rice shop.

She turns to face me,

a faint smile
on her face.

'This weekend,
'I'll show you what nothingness is.'

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