XXVI | Sometimes Real

❦

When I wake up
again,

the restraints

are gone.

Is this a hallucination?

Sunlight
streams through
the curtainless

window.

There's only one LED light
on the blank ceiling.

The nurses sit against the wall,

the pretty one
typing on her phone.

What day is it?
Did the meltdown happen

or was that the hallucination?

Tammie telling me
we've met before,

is it real?

I thought

I've already mastered

being able
to tell

what's real,
what's not,

but I guess
that must have been

the real hallucination.

An old panic
rages through
my chest

but my limbs
are weak

from being sedated.

Medicine.

They keep changing my medicine.

The pills—
five.

Originally it's five.

But here they give me
twelve.

Now I also get
injections

on top of the twelve
pills.

I wrap my hands
around my knees.

They move
so slowly...

Like I'm in water.

I can't breathe in water.

The nurses,
they get up

and come towards me.

I say something.
They stop.

My feet touch the floor
and I'm running.

My legs
feel like needles—

jabbing into my body,

but pain
is what keeps people

alive.

There's an easy way
to find out

what's real,
what's not.

[Read the full story at novelconbini.com!]