XCIX | Some Pleasure

❦

I look at the pill
and the paper cup

in front of me.

I think I can do it.

There's a plastic knife
in my underwear.

I can pull it out quick—

stab the angmoh nurse behind me,
the two masked nurses in front,
the nurse with the syringe...

It'll be over in a flash.

I'm angry enough
to pull it off.

Adrenaline burns

in my limbs.

A scream wells up
in my chest.

I scratch the cloth of my pants
covering the hidden knife.

Thinking.

Tammie.

They know about her.
They'll use her against me.

No doubt about it.

I take the pill.

I swallow it.

I let them check.

Then I recite
the names of the patients
again.

Again.

Again.

I won't forget.

I won't!

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