Adding up the Facts

  Having obtained the Goddess’ Key from the mountain cave, the Great Hero and his party made their way back to town triumphantly. The small pile of coins that appeared with the fully-assembled key was evenly distributed between the teammates, netting them twenty gold coins each.

  Heads were held high as the party formed a procession through the windless afternoon on the trodden dirt path. The kaleidoscopic sun shined directly on their faces, casting long shadows that seemingly stalked their trail. The hero walked at the front with Lensa at his side, the other three beautiful sirens following close behind. Neitra stood slightly further back with Artyom taking up the rear.

  Artyom inspected one of the coins as he walked with the others down the dirt path back to Brimhaven, the pre-noon sky illuminating the image carved on its surface. Artyom absentmindedly brushed his thumb over the detailed bust of a regal looking figure, appreciating the craftsmanship applied to the currency yet feeling uneasy at its lifelike gaze. He took a deep breath as he placed it back in his bag, focusing his thoughts on more pressing matters. Now that the dungeon delve was complete, he had the luxury of relative safety and solitude to digest the information he’d managed to garner.

  Artyom began to zone out, letting whatever minor events transpiring around him fall to the back of his mind, while keeping enough of an eye out for anything serious. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The last dungeon, which he dubbed “Key Cave” was built almost exactly the same way as Crystal Kobold Crossing which was essentially “under construction” when he had first arrived. At first, he thought it was being built as a sort of treasure trove for the foreman, with the key piece being kept as the literal key piece of his hoard on a pedestal at the deepest part of the dungeon. The goddess’ message to the hero and the church directing him there could’ve simply taken into account that the key was stolen by the Kobolds and placed there, but what Artyom had seen was starting to paint a completely different picture. The dungeons’ similarities couldn’t be ignored, and it looked more likely that the foreman was constructing the dungeon at the behest of the goddess herself to house the key piece.

  “Moo,” came a sound to Artyom’s left. He instinctively turned and saw a herd of wild cattle grazing on the verdant pasture. A small breeze from their direction carried over a whiff of their scent, causing the party to cringe as the faint smell of manure assaulted their nostrils.

  “Just for that, I’m having steak for dinner,” mumbled Daisy.

  Soon, they were past the group of bovines and away from their smell. Artyom returned back to his thoughts.

  If the goddess and her servants already had the mcguffins, why build a dungeon to store them right before Tommy was supposed to get them himself? Maybe these dungeons were built specifically for the hero? The presence of a pop-culture puzzle especially made him ask that. Was Tommy’s quest some kind of farce if they’re forcing him on a wild goose chase? Maybe the journey was supposed to give him a chance to level up and gain actual combat experience so he could properly use whatever relics are at the end of it all? But with the strength of his party and the minimal threat they faced in the Key Cave, there wasn’t anything to gain out of the experience, both combat and knowledge-wise. Mind-controlled Kobolds and a pop culture reference do not a learning experience make.

  So who was behind it? Logic would dictate it would be the one who assigned him the quests in the first place, the goddess herself, but the foreman from Crystal Kobold Crossing didn’t seem like the “holy servant” type, that sadistic bastard. Artyom took a deep breath and simply hoped that whatever this goddess had in store for Tommy, it truly was innocent. In the likely chance it wasn’t, Artyom would be there to keep him safe. The next step was to simply figure out the why.

  It wouldn’t be something he could get the answer to on a whim, sadly. While he was still in a ponderous mood, Artyom decided to try and dig around for more information from the next best available source.

  “Hey,” he said casually while strutting up to Ecole, who was walking apart from the others.

  “Hey,” she replied back, voice quiet and her eyes and mind elsewhere. Her green hair bobbed with every bouncy step she took, completely in a droll contrast to the vacant expression on her face.

  “Good work today in the dungeon, by the way. You were really skilled with those throwing knives.” What better way to start a conversation with an actual femme fatale than awkward smalltalk?

  “Huh? Yeah, I’m pretty good with those,” she replied, starting to snap out of her daydreams.

  “Where’d you learn to get that good anyway? You must’ve practiced for years.”

  “Yeah, I practiced a bunch back home.”

  “...”

  “...”

  “So, where is home?” asked Artyom. She really wasn’t making this easy.

  “Willowsburg,” she replied curtly, before turning her attention back to the horizon.

  “Ok, I can see you’re really busy, so I’ll just ask one more question before I bother somebody else.”

  “Mhm.” Her attention was nearly completely gone now.

  “Back in the dungeon, right after we killed all of those Kobolds and the white light appeared, you all kneeled almost immediately. What was up with that?”

  Ecole jerked her head towards Artyom and looked him straight in the eye, with her eyebrow cocked and a deep frown. “Really? It’s the Goddess. Of course I’m going to kneel before her.”

  Artyom instinctively took a step back at her reaction, raising his hands to placate her. “Of course, and I kneeled too, but that was only after she said who she was. How’d you all know it was her before that?”

  “It was obvious, that’s why. I thought you’d be smart enough to realize that,” replied Ecole. “But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

  “Hey, I mean,” began Artyom, mildly indignant. “Even Tommy didn’t kneel until she announced who she was.”

  He received a long lasting glare in response before Ecole looked away again.

  “I guess you must be really devoted to the Goddess, then?”

  “You said you’d bother somebody else after that last question,” sighed Ecole.

  Well, that was that. At least he’d gotten enough information to deduce that these four sirens were aligned with this Goddess at least, and they were quite defensive about the fact. It explained the immediate kneeling and anger when he questioned their devotion. With how powerful they were, Artyom figured they each must’ve been granted some kind of divine boon. Boon magic was a tricky subject, at least compared to the raw magic that he was more familiar with. The basic idea was that a sufficiently powerful deity can bestow a mortal with some kind of powerup or magical weapon. The powerup or weapon in question is usually related to the deity’s domain, at least when it comes to elements. For example, a wind deity could bestow speed or flight, a fire deity fire resistance, and the like. Of course, the more powerful a deity, the greater the power the boon will have. If this Goddess occupied a relatively monotheistic position as the head god of her own pantheon, then it made sense that she could provide a wide variety of incredibly powerful blessings to the four.

  Now the question was, why them? Usually boons would be granted to either whomever prayed enough, those whose goals and ideals aligned with the deity, or in exchange for some kind of service. It usually took an obscene amount of prayer to obtain one, usually in the range of decades of steadfast worship, but none of them looked old enough to have put in that much time. They all looked like they were in their early to mid twenties, with the exception of Lensa who could pass for someone who just turned 18. It was more likely that they fell into the latter two camps. Maybe they were just granted the boon because they joined the hero’s party or because the Goddess expected them to take care of Tommy? Seeing as how Neitra didn’t show the same level of power as the others, chances were that the deal was specifically made for those four. It could also explain their disdain for the two; rather than because of a lack of romantic interest as Neitra posited, the clique could feel that they simply weren’t deserving of the position as the Great Hero’s teammates because of their lack of association with their Goddess.

  It was a good theory to follow up on. Artyom picked up his pace and made his way to the front of the group. Tommy was talking to Lensa at the head of the party, his arm around her side as she leaned into his shoulder. They must’ve been talking about something amusing, judging by their smiles and relaxed posture. Their conversation was ending as Artyom began to catch up to them, and the hero released his one-handed embrace and slowed down to spread his attention to Ecole. Artyom was more than happy to trade conversation partners.

  “Hi, Lensa,” said Artyom in a soft, sing-song voice with a placid smile on his face. He was used to making such sudden shifts in his own demeanor at a moment’s notice, and this wasn’t even his hardest acting role.

  “Oh uh, hi,” she replied, her previous sailing spirits keeping strong despite her shyness.

  “You know, it was pretty cool how you helped everyone out today, are you a cleric?”

  “Uh huh, the Goddess blessed me with the [Cleric] class,” she said while looking away, a blush forming on her face. “But Tommy was even cooler, especially with how he saved me today!”

  “You both were cool!” exclaimed Artyom, ignoring how she didn’t mention how he helped too. “Say, I was wondering if you could tell me more about the Goddess, since it seems like you and the others are really close with her.”

  Artyom swore that for the briefest moment, Lensa’s eyes began to narrow. She covered it up with a blink, and that’s all it could’ve been, but Artyom could see her pupils shrink ever so slightly during the act.

  “Yeah,” she began, her voice mostly the same but a hint more monotonous. “She looks after everyone and is really kind. Everyone worships Her, and She also made me Her [Cleric] and gave me the chance to help out Tommy!”

  Artyom smiled and nodded at the profound revelation Lensa blessed him with. Maybe there wasn’t much to say about the Goddess beyond the obvious? But Artyom had seen enough to no longer give anyone the benefit of the doubt. A subtle casting of Sonic Waverider focused towards his nervous system supercharged his reaction time, making it easier to catch Lensa’s microexpressions. He’d gotten lucky to notice the first of them, and didn’t want to leave it to providence whether he’d catch any more.

  “So what about the others? Are they also as big devotees as you are?” he asked, careful to talk at a normal pace while under the effects of the speed spell.

  Throat tightening in a sharp swallow, pupils dilating, upper lip rising. She’s surprised.

  Lensa’s expression returned to normal even more quickly than before, as if she was expecting the shock. “Oh, everyone worships the goddess!”

  “Of course, but how much?” needled Artyom further.

  Eyes narrowing, lower lip opening, pupils constricting. Anger.

  Lensa looked away from Artyom an instant later, a strong, red blush covering her cheeks. “I… think it’s by a lot. But maybe I don’t know them well enough, so I’m not really sure.”

  Her previous cheer had deflated, replaced with a downward gaze and hesitance marring her soft voice.

  “Hey, you know them a lot better than me,” Artyom began, once again being put on the conversational defensive. “And even I can tell that they’re incredibly devoted. You’re all lucky to have each other as friends!”

  Nothing to make out, with her facing away.

  Lensa’s face rose, a level of warmth returning to her expression. “You really think so?” she asked with a smile beginning to form. “If anything, all of us are really lucky to have Tommy!”

  “We sure are!” said Artyom, concluding the previous line of conversation. “Speaking of which, where did you meet him? I only met him at Brimhaven, so it looks like the rest of you joined much earlier.”

  Lips twitching in a smirk, pupils only slightly dilated, relaxation in posture. Relief.

  Lensa nodded and looked up to the sky wistfully. “We met at Cape Horn, where I grew up,” she said, voice oozing with sentimentality. “I think Daisy was from Balesdale and Xerica from Triventra.”

  Artyom responded with another smiling nod. “Well, I’m glad I got to meet all of you, and it was nice talking.” said Artyom, concluding the conversation.

  They separated, Artyom staying in place while Lensa walked back to Ecole and the hero. Now at the front, and with nobody to look at his own expressions, Artyom dove deep into thought. Lensa seemed to be defensive when talking about her Goddess, especially in respect to the others, though very forthcoming with their origins. Benefit of the doubt be damned, she was hiding something. They all were. Once again, it was still a tossup whether or not their secret association with the Goddess was malicious or not, but three strikes against her was enough to convince Artyom to toss out any goodwill straight through the window. The foreman, the mind controlled Kobolds back in the dungeon, and the way these ladies treated Neitra. All of these small signs pointed towards something larger, he was sure of it.

  Several clouds previously blocking the sun floated by, shedding additional light on the party. Artyom squinted at the additional glare, and everyone’s shadows grew bolder in the brightness.

  Most amateur detectives waited until enough pieces of the puzzle fell together that it would spell out the answer for them, but they’d never get their answer if they waited that long. Artyom liked to employ a half-assed version of the scientific method instead. He’d come up with several theories and apply the facts he knew to them and see if everything still made sense. The theory he was now settling on was that the Goddess was in fact evil and Tommy is his pawn.

  It explained how this entire hero’s journey that Tommy was going through was all part of her plan, and probably her prophecy as well. It would explain the bullying; they want Neitra to butt out of the plan but couldn’t outright kill her without upsetting the hero. Making her “disappear” would prompt him to drop everything to search for her as well, so they would have to make her leave of her own volition. Then the assassins could’ve been sent to kill her, which would work to both remove Neitra from the party as well as redouble Tommy’s efforts on his current quest for the sake of revenge. Of course, the assassins and Dark Lord could be independent and the Goddess’s plan was to get them out of the way because of that. So what, was this Dark Lord secretly good? After Freeacres, Artyom considered it impossible.

  So what was the deal? This was still a fairytale World, so how horrific could the Goddess’ plan really be? Horrific enough to work with sadists and use mind control to create expendable troops who only lived to die. And then there’s the matter of the taint. It’d be easy to shovel every misdeed and misfortune on a single pair of shoulders, but there weren’t any hints of any other malicious presiding entities who could be responsible besides the Dark Lord. Maybe this entire Great Hero business is the equivalent of her putting out a hit on the competition?

  Artyom shook his head. There was plausible theorycrafting, and then there was just acting like a conspiracy nut. He knew that both the Dark Lord and Goddess were bad actors, but not the full list of what each was guilty of. He took another deep breath and got back to work thinking, knowing that the pieces he had so far were all just about in place.

  And finally, there was the biggest question of them all; now what? Did he act on his deductions and confront the ladies? If they wanted to kill or harm Tommy, they’ve had plenty of chances to do so already. If their supposedly evil plan would have to wait until he finished his quest, it would take months until then, judging by how much of the wild goose chase was left. Honestly, the best plan would probably be to continue his investigation into how Tommy reincarnated, then get him out of here with help from TOAL.

  Artyom knew when he was out of his depth. Beyond covertly gathering information, this was no longer looking like a scouting mission. But until then, he’d continue trying to blend in and plying everyone around him for info. If there really was an evil deity involved, he couldn’t charge in guns blazing without getting everyone he called in smited. Seeing as how he wasn’t dead yet proved that this Goddess wasn’t omnipotent or omniscient, and had limitations like most all deities that directly interacted with their followers. He’d need to scout out more information about her too.

  “Hey, I know!” said Neitra, with an epiphany on her mind. “We should go to Sandy Cove! They have a big library there that’s bound to have information on the key!”

  Artyom snapped out of his thoughts and looked over to her.

  “You know what,” replied Tommy. “That’s a great idea! It’s also got a great beach, it’ll make the perfect stop after all of these caves.”

  The party continued down the path, its members continuing to mix and chat. While everyone else was distracted, the hero made his way to Artyom.

  “And at last, my devious machinations have finally come to fruition,” he whispered in Artyom’s ear.

  His eyebrows raised in surprise. Was Tommy really in on this plot all along? “And what scheme would that be?” he asked, careful not to give away his fear or surprise.

  “The one where I get all of my wonderful girls into skimpy swimsuits and watch them play volleyball on the beach!” exclaimed the Great Hero.

  Artyom slowly turned his head towards him, his face completely paralyzed. Once he made eye contact, he forced his lips to raise into the closest imitation of a smile he could manage and nodded. “Yeah, that’s amazing! Nice job dude!” There’s no way he was a part of any of this.

  “I know, thanks! Oh, and it looks like we’re back in town!”

  The rest of the day had passed uneventfully, and they’d all arrived back in Brimhaven as the sun finally lowered below the Western horizon. The torches scattered about the streets of the city lit their way past the gates and towards the center. Rather than head to an inn, Tommy led the team to the very center of town, where there lay a large, blue stone reminiscent of lapis lazuli.

  “Alright everyone, here’s the teleport crystal. Let’s head over to Sandy Cove and rest there for the night.”

  The party members lined up and each placed their right hand on the stone, before being engulfed by a blue light and disappearing. Artyom saw instructions on a plaque next to the rock. In plain english, it spelled out the teleport crystal was connected to similar stones across the kingdom, and could use its magic to move people around between them. It could only bring people, bonded animal familiars, and whatever nonliving objects were being carried at the time. This must’ve been what Cress was talking about, way back when.

  When it was Artyom’s turn, he approached the crystal, placed his hand on its surface, and thought of the words “Sandy Cove.” Immediately, a blue light surrounded his vision, and when it finally faded, he was no longer in Brimhaven. The sound of waves and seagulls could be heard in the distance.

  “Ok, everybody’s here!” exclaimed the hero. “Let’s check into a hotel and finally celebrate getting the key!”

  The others all cheered at the sentiment, while Artyom simply smiled a mellow grin. There was probably some more time before the four sirens and their Goddess began resorting to more drastic measures against his intrusion, and he planned to finish his research, get Tommy out of there, and call in TOAL before it came anywhere near that. And what better place to conduct a little research than the library?