The League of Evil VS Mary Sue

 Alban was making his way through the streets crowded with people, he pushed his way in between the wave of human bodies that tried to drag him along, the air was full of steam from the vehicles and factories and the noise of the lightning towers, but he didn’t mind that, in fact, he loved it.

He was almost at his destination for the evening, a small cafe where his companions of the league of evil were waiting for him. Alban was walking with his head hanging low, there was too much on his mind lately, a large amount of frustrations in quick succession was able to drag anyone down, due to that he didn’t even saw the small girl that was coming in his direction, also oblivious to his presence, and they both collided.

“I’m sorry.” Alban said in reflex.

Saying that you were sorry wasn’t a villainesque thing to do, but since his companions weren’t around to see, he decided to forgive himself for the small slip, but to compensate, he wouldn’t help her get off the ground, hopefully he was still allowed that amount of villainy.

Leaving the complaining girl behind along with the memories of the small event, he entered the cafe wich he was heading to. His companions used to have a large base where the league did their meetings, as their numbers began to dwindle, the places also shrank, now, only Alban and two others remained.

Andreas, the evil engineer, responsible for the league’s equipment and a majority of their budget, was wearing his signature top hat and tuxedo and had a very well twirled mustache. Gellert, the mastermind, was right next to him, he was responsible for planning most of the joint operations of the league and had a mind that could not be matched, be it in a simple game of chess or in planning the fall of a nation, well, except for one, he was probably the single person that was more miserable than Alban, She had been especially hard on him lately.

Alban sat on one of the two empty chairs on the table, and soon after, the apples arrived, those were essential for their images. Sadly, Andreas’s snake, Roger, died last week, which delivered yet another blow to the league’s self image.

“Where’s Heydar? And what happened to your eye?” Gellert asked Alban.

“He fell for Her, spouted some nonsense about the power of love and said he was leaving, then we fought and now I have a black eye.” Alban replied.

“You are the fell swordsman, how could he defeat you? He is just a crazy doctor.” Andreas inquired.

“With the power of love apparently.” Alban said, frustration seeping into every word.

Those three were all that remained of the once feared and mighty league of evil, half of the former members were in jail, the other half fell in love with Her, and it didn't take long for their secret hideout to become too expensive to use regularly.

“I’m so done with Her.” Said Andreas.

As the three finished their apples, Gellert made a gesture for the waitress to bring them a piece of cake each.

“She is always getting in the way of things,” Andreas continued, “one can’t even blow up a building for no reason anymore, hell, even a vaporizing laser is hard to pull off these days.”

“Don’t even mention it, I tried to con a large bank out of a few coins the other day, just to practice.” Gellert said, “she managed to stop me, it wasn't even that much money, you could barely fund a revolution with it.”

The waitress arrived with their cake, chocolate for Alban, lemon for Andreas and the shop’s special coffee cake for Gellert, Heydar used to eat the strawberry one, but since he wasn’t there she didn’t bring it.

“What about that world ending robot you were building?” Alban asked Andreas.

The evil engineer stopped eating and suddenly his eyes were glistening with tears that he was trying desperately to hold back, after all, crying wasn’t a very villainesque thing to do.

“Easy, easy, you don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to.” Gellert interjected.

“Yes, just forget I asked.” Alban reassured Andreas.

“It’s fine,” Andreas said, wiping his tears, “i… just needed to get this off my chest.”

“What happened?” Gellert asked.

“She happened.” Anger overtook Andreas’s tone of voice, “two days ago i went out to buy the final gear for the robot. Unbeknownst to me, the lady that worked in the storage, had fallen from a ladder in the morning and sprained her ankle, and then. She, in that vomiting-inducing goodwill of Her’s, offered to take the girl's place for the day.”

“Wait, that doesn’t make sense,” Alban said, “the girl could have just gone to the hospital, you can’t tell me that there wasn't anyone that could cover for her.”

“I know, but it happened anyway.” Tears were welling up in his eyes again.

The other two gulped, Andreas continued.

“And a few hours later, there I was, entering the store, looking to buy the last gear that I needed. The guy that was helping me said he needed to get it from the back.”

Andreas fell silent.

“What happened?” Gellert asked.

“She retrieved a damaged gear, it didn’t look like it from the outside, but when I put it on the robot and turned it on.” By now, the tears were flowing like a raging river and he continued in between sobs, “it started a chain reaction, a piece of the faulty gear was sent flying inside the robot, it hit another gear, and soon, I had hundreds of gear shards tearing apart my masterpiece. They ended up breaking the storm-core and the whole thing exploded, destroying my lab. The only thing I was able to save was a hand cannon that broke when I fell over it during my escape.”

“It gets worse by the day,” Gellert said to Alban, “how can we beat an opponent that can defeat us even by mistake?”

“There has to be a way, I mean, she can stop us from doing even a small amount of evil right?” Alban said, reaching for his back.

“Looking for your knife?” Gellert asked.

“The girl that bumped into you stole it.” Andreas said, wiping away his tears.

“Don’t tell me the girl was Her friend.”

The other two nodded in unison.

“I refuse to accept it, She can’t stop me from killing a random person right next to me. Right?”

The other two shrugged.

Alban grabbed the knife and began to move, then he noticed it was just a butter knife. He threw it away and reached for the fork used to eat the cake and moved again toward the person right next to him.

And then, She entered the cafe. 

She had purple eyes and red lips, skin smooth as the cold wind on a hot summer day. Her hair was like long strings of green gold and She had this eldritch beauty that had a way of catching stares and keeping them. In short, She wasn’t a girl like other girls.