Chapter 0 – Well Death doesn’t Taste that Bad

Another gig... Another show. When will it stop? I have covered every hit imaginable, won twenty Oscars, lonely and always in the unwanted spotlight. My hair always in a mess but the audience likes it so whatever. Here I am again, in another stadium packed with a crowd shouting my name, flashing lights, I only wanted to reach out to one person and now she is lost in that giant crowd, an endless sea of faces. This time... this time for sure I will not do my best but the worst in all of my career tonight. A show to end all shows.

“Give it up for, Dante Fitch everyone!” the announcer shouted.

I waved with the fake smile I learnt over the years of my career, trying to be happy that I am here, I stood there for five minutes waiting on the crowd to settle down, stepped forward with pursed lips onto the mic and started to be off pitch as I can be. All I could hear was the constant booing from the crowd but that’s all I wanted, to be hated and to get rid of this painful life even if it cost me my dignity.

“I have had enough of this” a person from the crowd shouted.

He rapidly threw a tomato from God knows where he got that from, right into my face. I tried to block it but I so clumsily slapped the tomato into my nose instead. I couldn’t breathe, all the acidic juices were drowning me. As I stood there, I slowly descending to the floor face first. Wait, hold on... why is that thing rising? I’m drowning from a tomato over here you know brain. Still, this sensation is so good... Why am I enjoying this so much? This is so messed up... I want more of this feeling, it makes me all tingly inside, a drug I never tasted in a while, pain.

Everything faded to Darkness.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here, teehee”

What in the world, I thought I was dead, I just overdosed, I guess. Huh, I can't move? Did I get captured? Kidnapped? Wait no I ain’t no kid, Mannapped? As I slow opened my eyes I was in disbelief, I was held captive by a fourteen old girl. Wait a minute, I have learnt enough from anime to know when I die the person who oversees everything is typically over a thousand years.

I looked over to the girl,

“Hey, am I dead?”.

She turned slowly as if it was a horror film while holding a pink bunny plushie. Her hair was blue with patches of pink. She was coming towards me, but in slow motion? Does this person have to be dramatic? Then as she finally reached her forehead touched mine,

“So, Mr. World’s best musician I can give you two options, go to heaven or go and be reborn into a realm of sorcery and swords”.

Was that even possible, though I have watched enough anime in my spare time to believe this, the obvious answer is to go to heaven.

“I want to go to Hea-”.

“Though, a virgin like you would want to go to heaven because he can’t get laid at all, even a tomato laid you more than a girl could have ever touched your hands, virgin Dante.” She interrupted me.

Changed my mind, I’m going to go into the sorcery shit and prove this god damn Loli wrong. When I thought I would have a quiet life in heaven but no, she just had to trigger me.

“Put me into your sorcery and swords”.

“You? Are you sure, your soul looks like its crumbling, do you want me to remind you that you drowned on a tomato in front of thousands of people, to add on you enjoyed it.” That was sadly a sorry sight to behold on my part I don’t know when I turned into someone who was a masochist but it is what it is.

“Chief, there are some rules I want to set straight, if you really do desire to go to the world of swords and sorcery, you will be born under the noble family of Theroux, you will figure out the purpose of your new life in this new world brimming with beauty but twisted in nature”.

She grinned, “oh dear hero, good luck” as she burst out of laughter towards me.

Next thing I knew that she snapped her finger and my consciousness drifted away.