Chapter 0:
How my life was ruined
I...shouldn't have said that to her.
Why the hell did I say that?
Hadn't I promised myself that I will never ever speak about that to anyone?
So, why did I tell that very person about that?
This is the worst.
What may she be thinking?
It's all my fault.
I was supposed to take that with me to the grave.
In a fit of rage, I hurled all that at her.
I still remember the look on her face after I said.
Despair, devastation, and who knows what.
What was said was said. I no longer can take my words back.
It was my fault to begin with, regardless of the origin. I should have controlled myself.
Because of me, the reputation of my family took a dive. It's all my fault.
How the hell am I supposed to face them?
I can never!
I can never ever face them again nor can I show my face to anyone else.
I don't know what I should do anymore.
I don't know what I can do anymore.
No, I actually know. I know what I can do.
-Nothing.
There's nothing I can do.
Then, what's the point of living when I have no longer any wish or cause to keep living?
No, there's actually one last thing I can do; one last thing I should do.
-Erase my existence.
That's it!
Why didn't I think of this sooner?
Why couldn't I think of this sooner?
"Ha-haha."
The voices around me started to clear.
The noise all died down.
"It feels so calm." As if it were my one and only salvation.
I looked around.
In the dark cell, there was no rope nor any fan.
"Isn't there a single thing here that could kill me?!"
I searched but there were none. Nothing! Damn it!
"Hey, it's time for dinner!"
I heard a voice from outside the room. Through a small gap in the window, a plate with food was slid towards my table.
"There it is!"
Elated, I immediately grabbed the fork and held it firm from the bottom with the sharp prongs pressing against my throat.
Then I started the countdown, "3, 2, 1........................................................................"
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